I want to know how can i have confidence on me and my body language will speak that to the person whom i meet.

Question

I am working as a technical support executive for a reputed company. I feel awkard to express my views to my seniors or my boss as i think i may do some mistakes while acknowledging my views to them and i could be the butt of jokes. I am good in english but when i talk to my boss i feel or when i get introduced to someone big in my organization i really want to move away and do not intend to talk to them. I thought for a while and i can see that confidence is not there bcos my peers can easily speak there mind in front of them. Sometimes when i don't have any clue what my customer is asking for and at those particular time i also display some lack of confidence on me, so is there any simple way by which i can have confidence on me and my body langauage will dispaly it .

Answer 1

Sometimes our lack of confidence in ourselves is as a result of shyness. Shyness is defined as feeling uneasiness around people - strangers, those in authority, persons of the opposite sex or even your peers. Although a shy person is usaully unnassuming but when it inhibits us or restricts us from realizing our full potential and harmfully affects our relationships, work, and feelings, it is time to do something about it!
Shyness does not describe what you are; it describes your behavior, your reaction to situations, the pattern you have learned and reinforced through experiences with others. You think others are making negative judgments of you, that they don’t like you. You think others are better or more normal than you. You think things will go all wrong if you try to relate to other people. You expect things to turn out badly, and they often do—because you tense up and act in harmony with your beliefs.

By withdrawing, not speaking up, or being so preoccupied with self that you don’t pay attention to others, you may leave the impression that you are stuck-up, unfriendly, bored, or even uncaring or ignorant. When your thoughts are on yourself, it is hard to concentrate on the discussion at hand. So you pay less attention to the information you are receiving. Then what you fear most happens—you appear foolish.

In essence, you have locked yourself behind the walls of the prison of shyness and have thrown away the key. You let opportunities pass you by. You accept items or situations you really don’t want—all because you are afraid to speak up and express your opinion. You lose out on the joys of meeting people and making new friends or of doing things that would enhance your life. But others lose out too. They never get to know the real you.

With time and effort, behavior can be changed. First of all, stop worrying about whether the other person is evaluating you. He is probably too busy thinking of himself and what he will say and do. And if that person childishly pokes fun at you, understand that he has the problem. “He who belittles his neighbor lacks sense. Those who are worth having as friends will judge not by outward appearances but by the kind of person you are.

Also, try to think positively. No one is perfect; all of us have our strengths and our weaknesses. Remember, there are different ways of looking at things, different likes and dislikes. A difference of opinion does not mean a rejection of you as a person.

Learn also to judge others fairly. One formerly shy young man says: “I discovered two things about myself . . . First, I was too self-centered. I was thinking too much about myself, worrying about what people thought of what I said. Second, I was assigning bad motives to the other persons—not trusting them and thinking they were going to look down on me.”

The young man attended a meeting of Jehovah’s Witnesses. “I heard a talk there that really helped me,” he recalls. ‘The speaker pointed out that love is outgoing; that if you have love you think the best of people, not the worst. So I learned to quit assigning bad motives to people. I told myself: “They’re going to be understanding, they’re going to be kind, they’re going to be considerate.” I began to trust people. I realized that some might misjudge me, but I now felt that that was their problem.’

“I also learned the need to start showing love in an active way—to extend myself more to others,” he explained. “I tried it first on younger ones. Later I began visiting others in their homes. I learned to be sensitive to their needs, to think in terms of helping them.” Thus he learned the truthfulness of Jesus’ counsel at Luke 6:37, 38: “Stop judging, and you will by no means be judged; and stop condemning, and you will by no means be condemned. . . . Practice giving, and people will give to you. . . . For with the measure that you are measuring out, they will measure out to you in return

So learn to be sociable—to say hello and start a conversation. It can be as simple as a comment on the weather. Remember: You have only 50 percent of the responsibility. The other half is up to the other person. If you blunder in speech, don’t feel condemned. If others laugh, learn to laugh with them. Saying “That didn’t come out right” will help you to relax and continue with the conversation.

Dress comfortably, but make sure that your clothes are clean and pressed. Feeling that you are looking your best will minimize apprehension in this regard and enable you to concentrate on the conversation at hand. Stand straight—yet be at ease. Look pleasant and smile. Maintain friendly eye contact and nod or verbally acknowledge what the other person says.

When facing a tough situation, such as a speech in front of others or a job interview, come as prepared as possible. Practice beforehand what you will say. Speech problems can also be overcome or minimized by practice. It will take time, just as it does to acquire any other set of new skills. But as you see the positive results, you will be further encouraged to succeed.

P.S: I got this from a book published by Jehovah's Witness (Questions Young People Ask, Answers That Works). Iuse to be very very and extremely shy it did a lot of harm than good to me. Like you, i couldnt speak up and it made me do things which i would rather not have done and which some of my mates would have spoken up about. So be yourself, take an interst in others and learn to laugh at yourself or whatever mistakes you make. Have confidence in yourself by developing qualities, inbuilt qualities that are far more valuable than anything. Wishing ya da best

Answer 2

You can't always understand what someone wants if you're both on different levels of understanding.Meaning that sometimes others express themselves and ask for things in a round about way that you may not understand.In those instances being honest and asking them to repeat what they want word for word and how they want it exactly is a good idea.Write it down and if you still don't understand then ask someone to explain it to you on YOUR level of understanding.There's nothing wrong with that and makes you more thorough as well as a "doer" someone who will do and will give to the best of their ability.
Instead of stepping back from conversations and intimidating yourself into feeling like perhaps you'll make a fool of yourself jump right into the conversation express yourself.Use your body and your hands and your facial expressions.Carry yourself with dignity head up shoulders back smile and stand up straight.Sometimes confidence means you have to follow a lead not be a leader.And vice versa. SO choose someone in the group and follow their lead,meaning when they share don't be afraid to add onto or into the conversation your thoughts,feelings,and opinions.They don't have to be brilliant and they don't have to be witty but offering something to the conversation shows you want to be apart and that you are a person too...
Try it and join in find a comfort level for you start with small chit chat join in when you're ready and soon you'll notice that others may WANT to hear what you have to say what you're thinking or feeling.And that will change your confidence level from almost non-existent to more aware of yourself:)

Hope That Helps And Good Luck,

M.G

Answer 3

first the game is loaded-u are the joke-get over it-your half way through a life u choice most people can retrospectively read there mistakes and assume their failures half way through the game of life- this is called the middle life crises-it is nice to c you are half way there and when the game is over it is like being a referee in a good game when a good game on TV is over no body remember the referees but if it was a bad game everybody remember the referees so play life like u understand all these things u ask and don't be milked so much to say things in front of people because u have been setup to expose thing you do not understand in their game, but like a jester in the court of the king let them laugh because if you become angry it will harden u and that is when the older employees is on the way out, i could assure myself that i wasn't rich enough to have an attitude about head games and let them go til one or the other of them explained the meanings of the action in Private, don't confront an issue play along til u understand how it works to let it be used on u and achieve something to your advantage from it as a tribute to the game and smile it drives them crazy

Answer 4

I can assure you that you'll find some answers in the following books :
- "Visible Thoughts: The New Psychology of Body Language", by Geoffrey Beattie
- "Language and Gesture” by David McNeil

Answer 5

Do yoga and live from the heart.
Adi Da!