We have been married for 10 years and I think we bring out the bad in each other. I yell and scream at him and so does he. My daughter is affected by this I can see it in her eyes... HELP!!
2007-01-22 19:28:08 · 10 answers · asked by Maria7969 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't know all your circumstances, but ten years is a lot of time invested into a relationship to just pack up and leave without truly trying to resolve things. Have you both been to marriage counseling or even considered it? People sometimes give the excuse that they can't afford it, but how can you afford not to! Divorce isn't cheap either. Some counselors will let you arrange a payment plan. Or a lot of churches will offer it for free. If your husband is relunctant to go, then you go first and let him observe positive changes in your life.
This is affecting your daughter. I grew up with parents who argued all the time and eventually got divorced. What your daughter wants is for you two to work things out and live together peacefully. By staying together and getting counseling, you will teach her that you should face your problems honestly and resolve them, not run away from them.
Successful marriages don't just happen. It takes committment, maturity, and effort on both sides. And, in your relationship, somone has to take the first step! If you both stand stubbornly in one spot, you'll never get anywhere. You can be the better person here. You may not be able to control his behavior, but you can take steps to control your own. You can stop yelling and screaming. It will become hard for him to argue and scream at you if you remain calm and composed. A lot of couple arguements are over silly, trivial things. Forget these silly arguements and get to the root of what the real problems are. Remember why you fell in love with him to begin with. Isn't that love worth fighting for? (cliche, I know)
I'm not trying to sound preachy, but I know how your daughter feels. I wanted my parents to stay together. Their divorce made me feel insecure, and when my dad moved out, I turned all the blame inward.
2007-01-22 21:22:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you each have so little feeling for one another, why do you think it would necessarily hurt him if you both call it quits. Ending a marriage after being together for ten years is not an easy thing to do - even if for good reason. If you cannot make it work for the sake of your daughter, then better now than continue on this way.
2007-01-22 19:39:06 · answer #2 · answered by Murphyboy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my relationship 4 years ago.
If you are not willing or can"t find counseling, do the next best thing and just get a divorce. I spent thousands on marriage counseling with my ex and I just had to come to terms with the fact that I did not want to spend the rest of my existence in that situation. You may have to get selfish and do what is right for you and your daughter. He will get over it but it will take years. Once he finds another girlfriend you will be done. Don't guilt yourself into staying where you don't feel you are growing.
2007-01-22 19:44:25 · answer #3 · answered by desdicata 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think there is any way to leave without hurting him. Maybe if you talk to him (our of hearshot of your daughter) And tell him that you just arent happy, and that if you guys cant get along better, than you are going to leave...then maybe it will give him some warning, and wont hurt so bad if it comes to the point of you leaving.
2007-01-22 19:43:35 · answer #4 · answered by BeckyKay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 of you had done something and is taking it out on the other who are now retaliating. Leaving is not the answer, you'll just make life hell for all 3. So stop the buushiit and get busy solving whatever it is that has caused the rift between you two.
2007-01-22 19:47:52 · answer #5 · answered by bobby h 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think....
That's not what you should be worried about.
You should be asking the question "how do I make my relationship work for my daughter?" You're probably arguing about stupid things, aren't you? My parents did that, I just spent the time in my room thinking how stupid they were being.
I'm wondering... Did you forget the part in the wedding ceremony "til' death do us part"? :(
Good luck with your situation.
2007-01-22 19:33:24 · answer #6 · answered by Joshua 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its normal to husband & wife to fight/shout to each other sometimes. But try to hide it from your daughter, its not good for her too see her parents quarrelling. it can affect her personality.
2007-01-22 19:35:02 · answer #7 · answered by che 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dats not possible but a very well explained and calm talk may ease the pain faster
2007-01-22 19:34:49 · answer #8 · answered by broderm2k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to do it without some pain.. just do it. everyone will be better off.. good luck
2007-01-22 19:31:33 · answer #9 · answered by robtiger2 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
leave withe Friends , to break away with him, make a new journey
2007-01-22 19:52:42 · answer #10 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋