Are you married and still friends with an ex boyfriend/girlfriend?

Question

I have been with my husband for 7 years. We have been married for almost 7 months. I love him and have no doubt he is the man I want to love and be with forever.

I used to be somewhat of friends with my ex boyfriend. We didnt go out and do things, but we talked every once in awhile to catch up on life. And he would stop down to visit every once in a blue moon. We never tried to hide the fact that we talked and were friends. he even stopped down once when my husband was around.

But it drove my hubby nuts. He hated it. Said there was no need to stay friends. I disagree. Yes, I loved this other man, but it just didnt work out. He wasnt the man I wanted to spend forever with. I just wanted to stay friends because he had been apart of my life for years. Why did I have to drop him just because I fell in love with someone else. So I know it bothered my husband, and stopped talking to the ex.

How can you remain friends with an ex and not piss your husband off?

Yeah, I dont talk to my ex anymore. My husband is the most important thing to me. But I just wished he knew I would NEVER want anyone else, and trust me. I let him talk to his ex girlfriend. I just wish I could have the same trust. But No, I dont talk to the ex anymore. I just wish I knew how I could without jepordising my relationship now.

Answer 1

Sacrifices! They are part of the ingreidients that make a marriage work! Pat yourself on the back for a job well done!
Of course your husband is immature about it, but hey...a lot would be! I would just be cool about it for a few years and be the strength on this one. If your friendship is genuine with your ex it will last forever and he should understand and support you!
You sound like a cool gal...sincere...just make sure your husband treats you with the same courtesy when your time comes!

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

My ex-boyfriend is one of our best friends. We broke up because we realized we were not right for each other. But we had deep respect and affection for the other. We remained friends because we had several friends and interest in common, when mu husband and I got together I told him that this guy and I had dated but were just friends now. He has been fine with it. At first it kind of surprised people, but like my husband says " I know it is me that she wants to be with, loves, and comes home to every day". But if my husband really had a problem with it. I would probably give up the friendship to keep my marriage on the right track.
Some men and women just can not handle their spouses having ex's as friends. If it upsets your husband feels that strongly about it. You have to decide which is more important. Your marriage or the friendship.

Good Luck!
Kali :-)

Answer 4

It's not wrong, because obviously your friend divorced her for a reason. But even so, your friend may become jealous. And jealousy can lead to some nasty things. It could even end your friendship, mate. :/ I would personally wait another year so you two can get to know each other better before you marry; because marriage is a HUGE and serious commitment. Plus, she's gotten divorced before, so she could easily get divorced with you too. Best to play it safe now, and save the bigger stuff later.

Answer 5

When my ex decided to renew contact with me, my then boyfriend (and now husband) became rather jealous. I thought it was pretty immature of him but I still decided to cut off all contact with my ex for the sake of our relationship. About a year after that incident I found out that my husband's ex wanted to renew contact with him as well. It was then that I realized that I was just as immature as him, so he also had to cut off all contact with his ex.

Your case seems a little different since you say you don't mind when your husband talks with his ex, but (I think) his little jealousy fit does have a silver lining. When my husband was jealous of my ex I would catch myself sometimes smiling and thinking: "Well, at least I know he doesn't want to loose me". And when I was jealous of his ex I noticed that same sly smile on his lips from time to time. So I think that a little jealousy in a couple can only strengthen the relationship rather than destroy it.

Answer 6

Well, unless you have a VERY understanding spouse, it is not a good idea for ANYONE to do this. I would feel a bit threatened by this. Yes because you shared a life AND a bed. You should be having those discussions with you husband and not your EX. It also comes to respect. If he or you do not like it, you shouldn't be doing it. It's a fair request.

Answer 7

I don't know because I'm still friends with my ex, and we are very close. Not in a sexual way, I actually have no attraction to him at all, my husband likes to pretend I sleep with him, but he knows deep down I don't. I think I just made it clear that I wouldn't stop talking to him, and if he didn't like it then not to marry me. I'm not losing a friend over some stupid insecurity crap. I don't know what to tell you, mines cool with it, and I don't know why.

Answer 8

I'm still friends with my ex even though he has remarried and I haven't. We used to hang out but his wife got very jealous so we stopped communicating altogether except for the occasional emails. Because I care so much for my ex's happiness and peace of mind, I chose to leave him alone. We both miss our friendship but his marriage is more important.
Something is making your husband uncomfortable with your friendship with your ex and you need to discuss it with him. You also need to put yourself in his shoes; how would you feel if he was still friendly with his ex?

Answer 9

I don't think that is possible!
Before I got married I was friends with my "X" and my hubby had all kinds of mixed feelings about that. It was just better for me to stop talking to my "X".
I know it sucks but you have to think about what is most important!
:-)

Answer 10

If it bothers him, you shouldn't talk to your ex. I personally am friends with my ex-husband because we share a granddaughter and do things with her. But when I have a serious relationship with someone else, I'll stop.