He tells a lot of stories that are just weird. Like he said he was hired to take pictures of the sunset in Monterey but didn't bother to leave until it was dark. Or he says he saw an old college professor of ours and had a conversation with him about how we are dating. I haven't seen my professor in four years and I don't think he even knows my name, let alone who I'm dating! He also said in junior high his class watched the porn "Behind the Green Door." I am a teacher and I know that they don't show porn to kids in school! Why would he lie about such stupid things? When I say he I don't believe him he says "I don't give a s*it if you believe me or not." Or he gets mad and says "Suck my d*ck."
Have you seen these signs before? I am thinking of confronting him and telling him that he has a problem.
2007-01-22 18:18:18 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I'm gonna be honest with you. He sounds like someone who is compelled to deceive people because he get's a high off of it. I can't believe you would stay with him. You are ambivalent and your perception of relationships must be examined by you. Do you think relationships are supposed to feel bad or that they involve mistrust? Relationships should feel secure for the most part. He should never talk to you like that. You are going to wind up getting hurt if you don't get away from this. Trust me. If you are spotting these odd stories now just imagine how ridiculous it can get as the relationship progresses. You deserve better. He needs to get therapy and he owes you an apology for being so disrespectful. Don't let him make you feel guilty for questioning him. He sounds like he makes stuff up and you aren't crazy for being suspicious. All of those stories sound bizarre. Just trust yourself with this. Use your best judgement and think long term. If you make a decision based on a short term outlook you will probably make a mistake. Sometimes doing the right thing hurts at first but is best for us in the long run. Just look at the big picture. Oh, and yeah, I would definitely confront him. Be careful though. Take care of yourself first.
2007-01-22 18:30:21 · answer #1 · answered by understandingyahoo27 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The key is does HE believe those stories. Doesn't matter if they are patently impossible or not. If he knows they are lies then he is a pathalogical liar and you are wasting your time. The only thing you can be certain about with a habitual liar is that they are going to lie to you and that a happy ending isn't going to happen.
However if he believes the stories there may be more too it. Perhaps he saw a movie called something close to behind the green door as a kid, then saw the porn flick somewhere else and has crosswired the memories. Perhaps he had a conversation with somebody he thought was the Prof. Maybe this poor guy had no idea what your bf was talking about but was just being polite. Maybe it was even the prof himself and again was just being polite.
Only one way to find out. Catch him in a lie. Confront him with absolute proof. Easy enough to do. Habitual liars lie about all kinds of wierd stuff and frequently lie about things that are easily disproven. Maybe you should look up a pic of your old prof and show it to your BF and say was this the guy you talked too. What you want to do is to in a non-confrontational way prove him wrong beyond a shadow of a doubt. Does he make up a new lie or apologize and realize he was in error. Has to be in a way where you are not there with a smirk and ready to say "told you so". That puts him in a spot, on a crevice and he cannot admit being wrong then. Needs to be in a way that allows him to recognize his error and not feel like he has been shamed by it.
If what you have invested in this relationship is not worth this kind of effort then you are spinning your wheels anyway. You are not with the right guy. Why bother having a BF if it's not something that mgiht lead to a happy ending? Love is too rare a thing and too valuable a thing. Every year you are not with your soul mate or seeking your soul mate is a year less you get to spend with them and the possibility of going trough life having missed your soul mate. Those years while you were some smuck, you could have walked right by your soul mate and because you were in a realtionship not even noticed them. As such you might be condeming yourself to a life of never being truly happy.
2007-01-23 03:13:57 · answer #2 · answered by draciron 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If those are his responses then I would get away from this guy as quickly as possible.
You should never involve your self in a relationship where one of the people involved is willing to say such things to the other, it shows he has no respect for you as his partner and if that is the case then it means that after time verbal abuse may become physical I have seen it often.
If he is willing to lie about such evidently stupid things then what else is he lying about?
He does not sound like he loves you at all, and whether you love him a lot I don't think it would change him into a better person, get your self out of that relationship now before your not willing to leave out of fear of what he may do to you.
2007-01-23 02:57:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hello,
sad to say, but being a pathological liar is a true mental illness.
it's caused by a chemical glitch in the brain chemistry, which can sometimes be helped with medication. but these folks are very hard to get on medication because they cannot see the problem. no matter how many times you try to explain it to them.
living with a pathological liar can be among the most frustrating one you can have, because they don't ever stop. i'm sorry, i wish i had better news to give you. you have a big decision to make, as you cannot cure him.
good luck!
2007-01-23 02:44:17 · answer #4 · answered by Sandra Dee 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You need another boyfriend. His stories are weird and so is he. He has some serious psychological problems that will probably get nothing but worse without treatment. I would run, not walk, away from this guy.
2007-01-23 02:29:42 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dump the fool. Why in the hell do you need that? And why don't you mind being talked to like that?!
There is an entire world of available men. Take your pick.
2007-01-23 02:33:43 · answer #6 · answered by no worries 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who in their right mind would waste their time with a pathological liar who spews obscenities when questioned?
Please, for your own sake, walk away from this guy today, and don't ever look back.
Yikes.
2007-01-23 02:23:47 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
only two reason why people don't tell the truth,one to be liked and other they have something to hide,now figure out why he is doing that,and walk away from him they never change.
2007-01-23 02:32:15 · answer #8 · answered by kitty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they all get defensive and get mad like that. Patho-liars are freakin annoying. its the worst habit. It sound like he is one too! sad but true
2007-01-23 02:23:59 · answer #9 · answered by KC 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋