Is it a bad idea to try to get pregnant and be a student in college at the same time?

Question

My fiance and I have been trying to get pregnant with no success, its funny how when you DON'T want it, it is most likely to happen but when you do it just won't. Anyways we both are in college and are getting married over spring break. We both want a child together terribly bad, my question is how bad of an idea would this be? Is it infact doable and manageable? If so, what suggestions do you have to help us along? All info appreciated!

Answer 1

If you will be graduated by the time the baby is born, then you might be ok to go ahead and get pregnant. However, don't have a baby if you still have a lot of school left. I was pregnant in college and it was bad. I ended up in the hospital a couple times with preterm labor (a lot of stress from doing too much with my life at one time) and it messed up some of my classes. I was rushing to get finished so I could rest and have my baby in peace. I did not get a chance to go back for my last year until my child was 7! Once the baby is here, it takes tons of time and tons of money, so make sure you are prepared to offer both before jumping into parenthood.

Answer 2

Haha
Sorry, I have to laugh, this sounds exactly like me in 2005. I was 3 years into my undergrad degree, and my BabyFever was raging. It was getting worse, not better, with time, so being patient was no longer an option.

We were pretty poor, living with a roommate, and living single-paycheque-to-single-paycheque, and in some amount of debt.

However, we went for it! Got lucky on one of our first few attempts.

And today, we have a 7 month old son. I'm not in school anymore (but that has nothing to do with the baby; it's an unrelated government funding issue), but I am just starting a part-time job. My fiance is working a better job, now, too. I will go back to school and finish my degree. And lucky for us, we were the first of our friends to get pregnant, so a lot of our baby essentials were taken care of by friends and family.

I know people doubted us - more specifically, our financial stability. But I reasoned that we will NEVER have 'enough' money to start a family - there is always something else you 'need' - so if you think about it, there is never a PERFECT time to start.

I say go for it. If you love each other, and can weather the bad spells as well as the good together, starting a family can be a wonderful (and difficult! but it will always be difficult, no matter what your situation is to begin with) experience.

I wish you well in whatever you choose :)

Answer 3

If you are stable financially (not relying on student loans) and your fiance works but you don't have to then sure, why not? My friend was in the same situation but she fortunately wouldn't have to work, just complete school so it is very doable for her. She also had problems getting pregnant.

If you are getting married over spring break, why not wait until at least that is over and then start trying? Planning weddings are stressful and stress isn't conducive to getting pregnant. Plus, your body will look better pre-baby for the wedding and you won't have a little one around to worry about until after that's all done, so you can have a nice time without worrying.

Answer 4

I haven't read all of the responses but here goes ...

I did it! I already had one daughter when I went back to school and my husband and I decided to have another while still in school. However, I took two quarters off at the beginning because I get terrible morning sickness!!! (not everyone does so don't let this scare you). But I went to school full-time the semester I had my baby. I only took a week off from classes and earned 4.0's in all of my classes while breastfeeding (but once again, we assumed things would go as well during and after labor as they did for our first, we were right).

I think babies in college can be challenging but it really worked out for us because my husband mostly had morning classes and I had afternoon classes. We didn't have to do much daycare at all and we lived on loans, scholarships, and grants (you get more if you have kids).

If something goes wrong and you can't finish the semester, you can take incompletes in your classes and finish the work later. Make sure you get a doctor's note and talk to the people in student services and financial aid first to make sure you take the right steps. Because it would be a medical condition you'd be just fine.

BUT [disclaimer], we already had a daughter and had a good idea of what to expect. So I'm not saying it will work for you the same way it worked for us.

Answer 5

I know its now not like you deliberate, but you're 23 not sixteen consider so might be your mum and dad can be extra supportive than you feel. I might move again in with them, and trst me Im now not much older than yo and the proposal of going again house gives me chills but its most often the first-class place for you, despite the fact that for a little bit while. You need somewhere risk-free whilst you are making a plan on your future. Is the dad going to be round, he need to pay baby help regardless, and perhaps he can support out with child care whilst you go to university. Your no longer a nasty mom, only a scared one, i've so many friends which have had this happen and they are high-quality moms, and triumphant, they have struggled but thats a part of existence. When the baby comes the whole thing will fall into position, you have to be excited. I am 14 weeks and cant wait! Goodluck!

Answer 6

I have never been in your situation, but I would recommend waiting, if you can. I know that there's never a "perfect" time to start a family, but if there's an "imperfect" time, this would be one of them.

My recommendation is waiting until you graduate. You'll have your education behind you. Coming from someone who got pregnant before she went to college, I would wait until you're done with school. I have no idea how long it's going to be before I'll be able to get a degree.

I also have a friend who got pregnant while she was in college. She had to pull out when she was one semester away from graduation. I'm not saying this would happen to your fiance, but it's likely.

Answer 7

i am planning on starting school in march, and me and my husband are trying to have a baby. we already have a 2 year old daughter together. i know its going to be tough, but it all depends on how dedicated you are to school and taking care of a baby at the same time. it can be done, but be ready for restless nights (especially with a newborn) and long tired days. if you really think you can do it, be sure to prepare yourself in every way imaginable. it takes a strong person to handle two huge commitments at once! if you think you can do it, go for it! otherwise, wait until you finish school.

Answer 8

I am a full time mom and work full time. It is really hard, I tried going to school but it didnt work for me. You just need to stay focused. There will be many sleepness nights and its up to you and your spouse to communicate with eachother and help eachother out. The baby feels your frustrations and anything other feelings. I think you should wait. This is my opinion and i wish you the best of luck!

Answer 9

If I were you I'd wait until I finished. I would love to go back to school and get another degree, but there is no way I can as long as I have small children.

Answer 10

Its not the wisest idea but I kno how u feel. In my opinion, as long as theres enough income and as long as u two can dedicate time to the child, then i dont see the problem..