never supported me in anything I wanted to do for a living, when I wanted to go back to school he had a huge fit and became enraged, so I let it go.
He hates the idea of me making my own money, and wont help out with daycare (he makes over 100,000 yearly) and tells me to "**** off" basically.
I have helped him totally renovate his home, it used to have dog **** in it, bugs, his mom was a pig and lived in the suite downstairs, I am the only won who got her to move out, after she left I was the only person to help him clean the horribly filthy suite and make it into a nice area.
He has promised me a car and when we came up with a bunch of money recently. he said I was a selfish ***** and a mooch, and only after all the money got spent he said he was stupid about how it got spent.
We have a kid together as well, he threatens to take him away form me because I am a stay home mom and have no money.
I am at my wits end with this man, I dont think he going to change either. Im 26, he32.
2007-01-22 17:36:48 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you already know what too do, you and your husband are equals, you do have a job, it is called raising your children and that is the hardest job in the world..... How dare he use that as a threat
2007-01-22 17:43:55 · answer #1 · answered by Bridgette B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is the fool, girl don't you know that is emotional abuse.You can take him to court when you divorce him and make him pay for daycare, a place for you and your child, alimony and child support. Why are you staying there while this man walk all over you? He thinks he got you where he wants you. That's why he don't want you to go to school. He likes the fact that you have to go to him for what you want. If you get some form of education then he feels that you are no longer under his thumb. You should start gathering up documents that state how much he makes, what he spend and contact a lawyer to see what they can help you with. You make sure you tell them how you helped renovated his suit and that shows you have apart in the finances of your husband. He can't take your kid away from you, just because you are a single mother. If that was the case, there would be children all over the world living with their dads and we wouldn't have such a problem with dead beat dads. Oh yeah and he is a dead beat dad, any time he won't provide a car for you to drive you and your kid around in, won't allow you to get a degree to provide a good life for you and your kid and will not pay for daycare. So he really don't want to tangle with the justice system, he really sounds dumb.
2007-01-23 02:16:39 · answer #2 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT his mate! You are somewhere between a resource and a pet. I say you need to leave. If not then at the very least live a little for yourself. Follow your dreams; hell maybe have an affair to improve your self worth (just don't get caught). But this is NOT a long term relationship-know that now. Start a bank acct in your name and some credit in your name so when this all blows over you have a leg to stand on and start anew...
Staying together for the child is not an option either. You think you are miserable then thinkof how the kid will be. also him treating you like a dog in front of your child will teach it to disrespect you too. You need to leave and let court decide placement. All will be happier no matter who gets him (though I doubt the selfish sob wants the kid anyway).
2007-01-23 01:47:01 · answer #3 · answered by D4gotten1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's a good thing you survive 3 years being his housekeeper-that's how he treats you by the way. After you clean his house and help renovate it he still doesn't think highly of you ...... i guess it's time for a change. You sound like an intelligent person and your only 26 it's not too late for a career. If he has treated you badly for the last three years I don't think he's ever going to change. Before you leave him (just so he doesn't get the idea of taking your kid away from you) get the counsel of a good lawyer.
Goodluck and hopefully everything turns out alright with you and your kid.
2007-01-23 02:49:20 · answer #4 · answered by linzee604 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The other postings are right, get a lawyer. But you should also buy an MP3 recorder and record what he says to you. A court will find it compelling evidence that he is abusive and you will easily win. Also, because of the abusive you will win custody of your child. The courts are never going to allow a child to live will an abusive father.
Remember, abuse does not have to be physical. Emotional abuse from words are as painful as from being hit and the courts recognize this.
MP3 recorders can be very small and can be hidden just about anywhere. You can even get a tiny microphone to go with it. If you wish, you can talk to a lawyer about it first.
As far as being able to afford a lawyer, many of them work for part of what you get from your husband. You will probably find that a lawyer will sit down and talk with you for free before taking your case. so don't be afraid to see one.
2007-01-23 01:57:42 · answer #5 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By what you've told us/me, he sounds incredibly selfish. He wants what he wants, and he'll do what it takes to get it. Personally, I wouldn't stay long in this kind of controlling and domineering relationship, kid or no kid. The thing that happens most is, people stay in a marriage, even a BAD one, just because they don't want the child to go through a divorce. So, most people just wait it out and let it get worse. My reccommendation to you is; this guy is an absolute ***hole and he's never going to respect you. He doesn't like the idea of you getting a job, he makes empty promises, called you a selfish bi***. There's no love in a marriage when a man treats you like that. I'd want out. Maybe you, too. Good luck in your situation.
2007-01-23 01:49:30 · answer #6 · answered by jokerscard692000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like Cinderella. At least, that's how you describe yourself and your situation. The mean stepmother in this story, however, is your husband.
Sorry to tell you this, but there's no handsome prince, no pumpkin buggy, and no fairy godmother to rescue you. If you truly feel like an unappreciated slave - and a trapped one, at that - start making your escape plans now. You'll need a therapist to help coach you - get one. If he won't let you out of the house, get a sitter and have the counselor come to the house.
The fact that you refer to your husband as "this man" speaks volumes about how you feel about him. It looks like it's over. You've got some important work to do. It might take months or even years, and you do have to be considerate of your child, as well.
Get started before you become too depressed and worn down to do anything but give in and give up.
2007-01-23 01:46:04 · answer #7 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going thru/ feeling the same thing. I totally feel ya, and I'm sorry! I know this sucks.
After reading the answers given so far i think I know what I (maybe you too) need to do...just not sure in what order:
A. start divorce process/lawyer
B. follow dream (back to school/ job)
C. get a fresh start/ no one holding you back
These answers have already helped me, I hope they are just as helpful to you!
ANYONE THAT CAN TELL US IN WHAT ORDER a. b. & c. SHOULD BE DONE WOULD BE MUCH APPRECIATED
**ps* my husband only makes about $30G(+/-), we rent our home**
2007-01-23 02:28:47 · answer #8 · answered by momgoncrazynKY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start with finding a way to support yourself. Either take some classes without him knowing or find a job. You need to prepare for your future before you just walk out
with no means of providing for you and your child, although your husband will have to pay child support, but that is not enough for both of you. Have you tried talking to him about getting some family counseling? Ask yourself that famous question--are you better off with or without him?
2007-01-23 01:51:35 · answer #9 · answered by prarierosebud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in an abusive relationship. He threatens you and basically don't allow you to do anything. He is controlling. That is emotional abuse and especially with the name calling. If money is that important to him, then let him have it all to himself. It would be better for your son and yourself if you got out of there. Do not give in when he begs you back, cuz he will. He just don't want to let his kid go. He can't take your kid away, even if you're on assistance unless he can PROVE that you're unfit. Do yourself a favor and call the local battered women't shelter and ask their opinion on what's going on. They will have a lot of useful information for you.
2007-01-23 01:49:58 · answer #10 · answered by Tasha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
SHOULD you leave him??? Honey, why the heck are you still there? You should have been gone a long time ago. What he is doing borders on emotional abuse. Do you still have any family? Pick up your baby and just go. Wait until he's at work one day and then just leave. Stay with family or friends. And get a lawyer.
2007-01-23 09:29:24 · answer #11 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋