Should I be open about me being gay?

Question

Hi, my name is Nick I'm 13 years old. I believe that I'm gay; I feel more attracted to other guys, rather than girls. I'm not so sure about coming out and letting everyone know about my feelings. What would my family think? My friends? How would the world feel if they knew i was gay? Is it right to be feeling this way? Because sometimes i really wonder. I get upset a lot because I don't know if I would be accepted by people. Am I normal?
Please help me, thanks
-Nickilicious <3

Answer 1

First, I give you a lot of credit for having the courage to even consider coming out at 13. I waited until I was 22 and in hindsight I would have been a lot happier if I came out earlier. So good for you!

Best 2 pieces of advice I could give you:

1) Do it when YOU feel ready. If you are still questioning your sexuality and struggling with the issue yourself it will make it that much harder to convince someone who does not want to believe the truth. Unfortunately, you will more than likely find at least one person who is like this; it's part of the process. They will try to tell you it's a phase or challenge you and make you doubt yourself. You need to be sure you have the confidence to hold your ground and affirm your sexuality, even if it means temporarily displeasing someone. If the person TRULY loves you they WILL come around and accept your sexuality.

2. Strategically pick the order in which you tell people. This goes along with my first tip. You need to build up confidence to come out to people. The best way to do this is to start by coming out to someone who you know with little or no doubt will accept your sexuality and appreciate you coming out to them. Hopefully you are lucky enough to have a tolerant friend, sibling, or parent who you are close to that would be understanding if you told them. Tell this person first, then tell the second easiest person, third easiest, and so on. By the time you get to the people you are more wary of telling, you will have a lot more confidence and while it will still be hard it will be a LOT easier. Also, don't tell anyone who gossips a lot and would share the information with people who you aren't comfortable knowing. Sexuality is a private thing and it should be up to you who you share it with. After coming out to the people closest to you, you might feel comfortable with being "out" and not care who knows.

Answer 2

First off, yes you are normal and there's nothing to feel ashamed about. :-)

It is much healthier to come out of the closet then hide. I knew I wasn't straight when I was about your age but I was so worried about not being accepted I tired everything I could do to hide it. The result was misery and feeling a terrible isolation and distance from people I cared about. Please don't make the same mistake I did. Some people will accept you just as you are. And unfortunately some people won't because of their own prejudices; Don't worry too much about those people. I felt like a great burden had been lifted when I came out, like I could finally be myself.

Only you can decide who you should come out to and when. The first person I told was my mother. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

Short answer: I would say no. I would look at the benefits of being in the closet versus coming out of the closet. Does it really change anything if you remain in the closet? It could possibly change things if you came out.

It depends on your environment.

Family: is anyone in your family already out? Do your parents have gay friends? My mom is an art teacher, so she has many friends that are gay... I came out when I was 20, I could have came out a lot earlier since my mom had so many friends from college. Being on your own is a lot easier since there is no dependency on your parents.
Friends: is anyone in your circle already out?

You never need to tell the world (at least not this world). It is okay not to tell anyone. You only need to tell who you want to tell.

Answer 4

Being a gay man or woman isn't a call, that is organic and organic. most of the gay couples i recognize befell to go back from some very provincial backgrounds. finally, their mothers and fathers and kinfolk grew to love and appreciate them for who they are somewhat than their sexual decision. Many left their small communities on the earliest conceivable probability. larger cities on the West coast and North would properly be extra accepting of diverse sexual options. in reality, you stands out because the final public in case you ever pick to stay in San Franciso or aspects of Seattle. you'll want to verify at the same time as or perhaps with in case you'll come out of the closet consisting of your mothers and fathers and kinfolk. Prejudice exists and could be very negative/risky component. i might want to come across a strong, open-minded counselor who you may have self belief. i trust very unhappy that's good to bypass although your existence concealing this. strong success and would you've a strong existence.

Answer 5

Depending on the way u say it, I think ur family will understand... Or at least give them some time to get used to it... So when u finally start dating ur family will know what to expect... Ur friends might be more open about it... The world would look at u like they do everyone else... It's alot more common now than it was back then... Yes, u are very normal...

Answer 6

Hey Nick, stop worrying about it , you have plenty of time to tell people when you are ready in the mean time just get on with being a kid and believe me when you are a bit older you will be very happy and proud to be gay, it's a lot of fun. take care

Answer 7

Be proud of who you are. Tell people only when you think the timing is right and you are comfortable to do so. Your feelings are natural, and lots of people will love you more for being yourself. Start by telling people that are close friends. I found out that female friends are easier to start with, and then progress to others you love and trust.

Also, the rainbow behind your guy, and calling yourself Nickilicious are sort of a giveaway :-D

You are completely normal, and don't let others upset you.

Answer 8

Hi Nick.
Do you know someone whom you could trust with what you have to say? Are your parents conservative? Do you have any siblings? Inform them slowly about you being gay. meanwhile, find out more about the community (Gay/Lesbian) in your school / neighbourhood for more information and support.

Without support, you may be very hurt & lost - from being rejected by your peers, friends & family. Once ytoub have that support and being opened to your family members and they accepting you without judgment, then smile and be glad.

Be strong and God bless.

Answer 9

Just come out and be yourself....if you really know you're gay then tell people....that is just who you are and should not be ashamed. If people don't like it then they aren't worth your time. And if it's your family, then oh well they will have to deal with it too.....they will eventually get over it and if they don't then they never loved you unconditionally. Good Luck!

Answer 10

Well, if you're fine staying in the closet for a few more years you could... you'll know when the "right time" to come out is.

Yes, you are normal, its completely natural.