helped him thru depression, suicide threats bc he got a one night stand pregnant before we met. I feel he layed a huge burden on my shoulders. I told him many times to seek prof help, but he wanted to talk to only me. Then when I help him come to terms with having a child, he ends our relationhip to pursue one with the mom. And I found this out when I was in the hospital., she called me, & then when I confronted him he told me never to call him again!They are not together shockingly. After, I figured he was confused and wanted to remain friends, but now he completely ignores me and I feel so hurt and used, and all I cant help but call him &leave messages& yell at him,deservingly so. I cant let it go and dont know what to do anymore. I am in therapy, &its just not right.I feel the whole suicide thing he layed on me got to me,& I cant understand how someone can possibly do this to another human being?I thought I knew him and he really valued me.Its been 6 months &i cant let the anger go.
2007-01-22 16:55:13 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You tried to rescue someone and it didn't work. Now your upset because he won't let you rescue him anymore.
I hope you will learn that you cannot save people from themselves. Of course he doesn't value you because he probably never asked for the rescue effort in the first place. And, if he did, you jumped in without any thought for yourself, which is noble but stupid.
What happened to you - and is happening to you - is not fair. But, ultimately, you got yourself into this mess, devoted all of your love and energy to a child (did you find some satisfaction in being a mom to him?), and now it's your job to get out of it.
Stop blaming the guy. He's a loser and yelling at him and blaming him is an exercise in futility. Also, stop trying to figure him out. He's a loser. Plain and simple. Your anger is only draggin you down - it is having no effect on him. Heck, he's probably been yelled at his whole life. It bounces off of him like water off of a duck. Accept it and move on.
But, when you move on, admit to yourself that you apparently are drawn to what you perceive to be people in need. You have a mild "messiah" complex. It's not a bad thing for others because the world needs people that need to be helpedand supported. But, don't take it so far that you ruin yourself in the process.
Work these ideas over with your therapist and resolve to be nice to yourself. There's a big difference between selfishness and self concern. You've figured out what the former is. Now you need to work on the latter.
Good luck.
2007-01-22 17:56:55 · answer #1 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you continue to harass him he won't learn anything from what you say, sit down and write him a letter and get it all out then let it go. If need be, get some therapy yourself. He obviously has issues and is bringing you down w him.
2007-01-23 01:16:37 · answer #2 · answered by Polly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you leave a message. tell how he hurt you. and what it did to you that may help you to deal with it a lot better. get it all out of your system. let the rat know. the whole thing. sit back and let him live with that. it will be on his mind for the rest of his life
2007-01-23 01:09:51 · answer #3 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋