2007-01-22 16:19:00 · 15 answers · asked by Rachel T. 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I wish I were there to give you a hug.
Sorry about what had happened. But you must learn to move on.
2007-01-22 18:03:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly in my opinion there is not much you can do to stop yourself from feeling the way you do that causes you to avoid people.... Being hurt in my eyes a lot has to deal with trust and when you trust someone and they do something that hurts you so it takes that trust away... Maybe you feel like you avoid people because you feel like they will hurt you? Maybe not.
I'm not sure what happened in your past that hurt you but whatever it is try to build trust with in your self so you wont get your heart broken for example... Mostly in my opinion is to have faith, in yourself! Know one can avoid pain it will just come. I am sorry that you have been hurt and I can relate to that and to avoiding others... Know that there is light at the end of the tonal and that when ever a door closes a window will open.
Believe in yourself and trust yourself... Depending on your faith as religion I would pray and ask God for the help and direction that you should go in... know your loved and don't give up...
God will bless you.. Just ask... =) good luck and keep smiling
2007-01-23 00:42:43 · answer #2 · answered by Bubba 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's understandable that you want to avoid letting anyone get close to you in fear of getting hurt again. Know that by doing this, you could be passing up opportunities to have some wonderful people in your life. Try not to let a few rotten apples rob you of the chance to meet real quality individuals. Though not all experiences with people will be pleasant, but remember even the bad ones will help shape who you are and you can actually gain wisdom and insight that you never thought was possible. You can start out slowly, one person at a time. Get to know them on a deeper level until you feel that you can trust them. Use your intuition. You will be doing yourself a favor by not shutting the door on everyone that you meet. You deserve to be happy others deserve to know you. The ony way to overcome this fear is to face it head on and be strong. Once you get over that initial hump, it won't be as bad.
2007-01-23 00:34:27 · answer #3 · answered by artutina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't stop it in the snap of your fingers. We've all been hurt, one way or another.
I think it helps if you remember that not everyone is the same. There are a lot of horrible people in the world--I think someone said that for every 12 awful people you meet, you'll meet at least one really wonderful person.
It'll take some time, but eventually I hope you'll realize that no matter how much heartbreak/pain/grief you may endure, not everyone will wind up causing you that much suffering. Give everyone a chance to prove to you what sort of person he/she is.
Live like you've never lived before, and love like you've never been hurt before :)
2007-01-23 00:27:47 · answer #4 · answered by calamityjanedoe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been hurt as well and there is alot of mean people out there but there is also alot of nice people so give yourself a chance to meet these nice people and start trusting again.Because life goes by fast and we sometimes have to take some risk. You have to keep making choices until you find the right Formula. I've been told to love like you've never been hurt.
2007-01-23 00:30:59 · answer #5 · answered by Jose P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When dealing with pain, it usually helps if we begin to meet people from places of 'strength'. What that means is that we learn to deal with others from places we feel the most comfortable.
Even the most phobic of people have some public areas where they feel 'safe' and 'comfortable'. Whether it be a museum, a coffee shop, fishing on a boat, or even online playing a game, there is some level of interaction that allows the person a window of public confrontation.
We carry confidence with us, and we also carry insecurity with us. And confidence and security work in the same fashion as the distribution of heat: heat travels from greater to lesser. Therefore, if we have 'less' confidence, we need to go to a place that makes us feel 'more' confident in order to be able to function and absorb the 'confidence' within us. If we feel socially awkward, going to a charity ball is like going from British Columbia to the Artic circle; we are losing energy/confidence instead of gaining it, since we are going to an even colder/more energy draining climate.
We are 'healed' when we respond to ourselves, whether that be physically (if I have a broken arm, I don't go out and start playing touch football) or emotionally. Listen to yourself, respond to yourself, and the healing will take place.
2007-01-23 06:55:06 · answer #6 · answered by Khnopff71 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a common reaction to being hurt. You will get over it. Some people bounce right back in no time flat. Others take years. I took many years until I bounced back from being broken up with my senior year of HS. If it helps, you can im me any time to talk about it. It might help.
2007-01-23 00:28:17 · answer #7 · answered by daddyspanksalot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if yo0u have been hurt in the past by multiple people or just one person just try to find out who there friends are and try to stay away from them so you don't get hurt again. You should also try to find the courage in yourself and start hanging out with others who share your interests
2007-01-23 00:25:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one. Many people would like to know the answer to that one. You just have to take your time and learn to trust again. It will take time depending on how badly you were hurt. You're just trying to protect your heart by holding back.
Best wishes to you.
2007-01-23 00:24:21 · answer #9 · answered by Just Me 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you mean youve been hurt in a relationship, then you have to try and get over it. It can be hard, but you have to move on and keep looking. You may think because he hurt you that all men are like that, but they aren't. You just have to keep looking.
2007-01-23 00:22:53 · answer #10 · answered by murfman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, just go slow at meeting new people. Start off with your guard up, but not too much where you block every one off from knowing you, and go from there. Take baby steps. Don't pour your heart out all at once.
2007-01-23 00:22:58 · answer #11 · answered by ~carmie~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋