I cant let this go. My ex hurt me so badly.?

Question

I help him thru depression, suicide threats bc he got a one night stand pregnant before we met. I feel he layed a huge burden on my shoulders. I told him many times to seek prof help, but he wanted to talk to only me. Then when I help him come to terms with having a child, he ends our relationhip to pursue one with the mom. And I found this out when I was in the hospital., she called me, & then when I confronted him he told me never to call him again!They are not together shockingly. After, I figured he was confused and wanted to remain friends, but now he completely ignores me and I feel so hurt and used, and all I cant help but call him &leave messages& yell at him,deservingly so. I cant let it go and dont know what to do anymore. I am in therapy, &its just not right.I feel the whole suicide thing he layed on me got to me,& I cant understand how someone can possibly do this to another human being?I thought I knew him and he really valued me.Its been 6 months &i cant let the anger go.

Answer 1

Surprisingly it does take a while to get over a relationship, ESPECIALLY when you have been wronged. Here are some things that help a little:
1. Delete him. Out of your phone, you email, your myspace, whatever, just delete all access to him. When you're having weak moments you'll be glad you did.

2. Distract yourself. With a new guy, with your friends, with volunteer work, with spoiling yourself. Stay busy.

3. No love songs. Break-up songs are a good way to get the frustration and the sadness out. And it's nice to know you aren't alone.

4. Understand that it will just take time. Not everyone is supposed to stay in your life forever. Just let him go. Don't try to figure him out or understand what happened. He's gone and should stay gone. He may be sorry or he may not, but he's definitely not losing sleep over you.

5. Sooner or later, you'll forget him. It's hard to see now, but it's true.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Maybe therapy is not the path that needs to be taken at this point. More than therapy, you should seek some spiritual counseling. Try a local Christian counselor who will discuss true and RELATIVE spiritual issues while evaluating this issue therapeutically. There is a real need for spirituality today, and more so for Jesus Christ. As cliche' as it sounds; it's the truth!! Give it a shot, what else do you have to lose at this point?

The child circumstance is a tough one, and it's hard to decipher whether or not he was doing the right thing or not. I know this from experiencing divorce though, when it comes to children, the mother and the father should always remain together even if it means a break up with another individual. It's only for the kids sake, a sacrifice the father made when he decided to have a one night stand. It certainly hurts, I realize, but you need deeper assistance than therapy, and one thing I can offer you it for you to stop calling him immediately! Sorry I could not help anymore.

Answer 3

Your ex has used the girl who maybe had his baby and you and now is probably using and abusing another girl now! He drained you and left you without anyone to associate with, take care of, and have as your significant other.He stole your love and emotions, time and now you are allowing him to steal your present and your future! Stop right now and write down anything that he did for you. IF he did anything ,that was not to advance himself in any way,how does it compare to what he has put you through? You are better off without that type of man. He would have drained you dry and by the way it sounds, you are almost there. Take some time without thinking about him. Get involved in some volunteer work and see how the needy really live and how they act when someone helps them? When you are helping in a volunteer postition you are helping yourself to grow by giving and loving and the best part is that you are not thinking of the ex! When you give uncondtional love you grow stronger.The longer you do for yourself, by taking a class or renewing old friendships or hobbies,the stonger you will be and the weaker his memory will be. Most important is to not rush into another relationship because you would probably find a man to fill the void that is empty right now,the void left by a user, and that will only hurt you again. You need to grow and become comfortable with yourself before looking for a close relationship again. Best wishes and I know you can become strong again, it will just take time and a little work.

Answer 4

Sugar the Lord says to keep your heart with all diligents for out of it flow the issues of life. Solomon the wisest man recorded in the Bible possibly wrote this and we believe it was inspired by God.
So take heed how you let your heart go. Get down on your knees and pray and it will help you. But don't just sob and cry maybe alittle. Draw strength from God and He will help you back up.
The Bible says humble yoursevles before the Lord and He will lift you up.

Answer 5

let go a little at a time. fill your life with people and things that don't involve him. Take it one day at a time. If you still have things bottled up inside, buy a notebook or journal, address it to him. Write it all down, get it all out. Talk to some one. Then one day at a time forget about him. Trash the notebook or ask a counselor what to do about the notebook. Slowly let go. DON'T CONTACT HIM. Don't put yourself through all this again. Drop him, start to forget about him. Fill your life with other people and other things.

Answer 6

He is a selfish, manipulative person. He played you. Why are you hanging on to this? That is what you need to find out in therapy. And be honest. As you stated, you thought you knew him, you didn't and he didn't value you. Time to move on.

Answer 7

You say he ignores you and wants nothing more to do with you. Then you say he is doing this to you. I understand he hurt you deeply but YOU have been doing it to yourself for the last 6 months. However bad he was, he stopped. You re keeping it alive.

Answer 8

letting go is the worst thing. even if you holding on to nothing.

Write it down. write a letter to him, detailing the hurtfull things he did, the way he made you feel, and the lack of remosre he showed....

Then post it to his mom, grandmother, woman of significance (not the new hubby) and wash yourself of him! revenge is good but not if it inspires more anger coz then the message doesn't get across!

Find yourself a toyboy or someone non-commital and enjoy yourself, don't forget life goes on!

It soo easy when its not you, just try to see the bigger picture!

Answer 9

Sorry you got burned like that. As long as you stay angry though, he's STILL running your life.