Everyone says how "sweet" his parents are, but they have not been "sweet" to me since they learned my parents are working class-which they found out about 2.5 years ago when we started dating. They do not know my background and how much more accomplished I am than their son-I am not full of myself and I'm not scum.
He does not understand they dislike me and doesnt realize they never talk to me when I'm at their house.
Should this bother me anyway? Or should he definitely talk to them?
*I've dated/lived with their son for 2-2.5 years.
2007-01-22 15:48:59 · 9 answers · asked by PlasticTrees 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well if you want to spend the rest of your life with this guy then hell yeah, it should bother you.....
Of course he should speak to them, they're his parents afterall and he needs to make it perfectly clear that he loves you and they need to love and accept you also, no matter what their personal opinions/judgments are, he is their son, and they should love and support him in every decision he makes....obviously you have been with him for awhile, so it's time for this nonsense to stop!
2007-01-22 15:57:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard situation. Did they tell you they didn't like you because your parents were working class or are you guessing? I would just express interest in them. Try asking them some lighthearted questions about themselves to attempt to get to know them a little better. They may just not know what to say to you. Speaking as a parent myself, it is difficult to talk to someone you don't know very well. I'm sure you feel the same way too. Especially if you are the first or one of the few girlfriends your boyfriend has brought home. My in-laws were very different than my own family. They were courteous, but not warm. They just weren't friendly people. They were very competetive and ambitious. Being so young, I expected them to accept me like one of their own however, I never really fit in. What I didn't realize at the time, was their son, my husband eventually became the same way. Big "DUH" on my part. I was so young that I didn't realize things just work that way. What concerns me is your boyfriends lack of understanding of your feelings. I think you should trust your instincts. This may not seem like a big deal now, but if he can't or won't talk to his parents about this, who is he respecting the most? It's a bit of a red flag to me, but I am not an expert. You are concerned enough to ask our opinions, but I do believe your boyfriend is the key to this scenerio. If you were to get married, who would he cleave to? You or his parents. Just my opinion. Good luck and I hope you get this worked out. You sound very ambitious and smart. I wish you the best.
2016-05-23 23:47:38 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming you've pointed out to him that they ignore you so he can see it for himself. This is passive-aggressive behavior and they are acting as though, by ignoring you, you don't exist. If this bothers you, your bf should sit down with them and tell them that you sense their dislike for you. He should ask them what the problem is so as to clear the air. They may object to the fact that you're living together outside of marriage (old school, I know) or it could be a class thing, but it's up to your bf to have the gumption to say something so at least you'll know. Once you know, will that change anything for you?? You don't owe anyone any apologies for who you are so don't feel you have to prove yourself to them. Be polite. Kill them with kindness and keep your head up.
2007-01-22 16:00:04 · answer #3 · answered by Yo' Mama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dealt with a situation a lot like this, and in the end they won. If I were you, I'd grin and bear it. If you try to get him to confront his parents he will probably end up believing them. They may be jerks, but they're still his parents and I'm sure they can be persuasive. If you get on their even worse side, they will take every little thing you do and try to convince him to break up with you.
2007-01-22 15:54:22 · answer #4 · answered by Franz Fiend 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to talk to his parents and he needs to do it now.He doesn't have to be rude about it but he does need to stand up for you.I wouldn't loose sleep over it but I am in the same boat and at first it did hurt my feelings but 9 yrs later and his mom still doesn't like me.Although I am respectful to his parents I don't go out of my way to please them by any means.Most in laws don't like the bf/gf I've learned by talking to people.But just remember your dating there son not them so don't let it get to you to much.Good Luck!
2007-01-22 15:57:57 · answer #5 · answered by amber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would they like you? You are living unmarried to their son. Forget your parents income, living together is trashy in itself. Couldn't you have held out for the ring? Maybe next time you will.
2007-01-22 15:53:45 · answer #6 · answered by Heather 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He could try but its not going to help you any, its just going to stir things up and probably make it worse on your relationship with them. Best advice is to focus on him and he will do the same with you. Just try to remember its about you and him, not you, him and them. Concentrate on him and you, if he is happy they will come around with time.
-NmD!
2007-01-22 15:56:25 · answer #7 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not worry about it. Either accept the situation the way it is or dump the guy.
2007-01-22 15:52:38 · answer #8 · answered by Bob 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make his parents like you.
If you love your boyfriend and he loves you. That's all that matters anyway.
2007-01-22 16:48:38 · answer #9 · answered by ~*~Tessa~*~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋