he is 21 and I am 18.We are considering a college career and love each other very much ....I really feel as if he is the right person for me but he doesnt want to settle down yet ...What should I tell him and how should I go about this
I dont want to force him into anything if he isnt ready but my heart is ....what should I do ?
2007-01-22 15:45:23 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do you want to rush into marriage? Once you are married, it's for the REST OF YOUR LIFE, and that is a very long time!! There is no need to rush and every reason for the both of you to enjoy being young and without the responsibilities of marriage. When we are as young as you are , we all have the fantasy that marriage is equal to "happily ever after", when in fact, just the opposite is true. Marriage is the most daunting task in life that you will face and you want to make sure that both of you are prepared for the tremendous responsiblities that it brings. Right now the best thing for both of you is to prepare yourselves for life by going to school, by having a social life and enjoying the experiences that that brings. This way, when the two of you do decide that you are finally ready to undertake the committment of marriage you both will have a strong sense of who you are and will be better suited to care for eachother. Don't be so excited, enjoy the relationship you have now and let it develop and grow in it's own due time.
2007-01-22 18:34:30 · answer #1 · answered by gg55 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 18, what you like now may not be what you like at 25, and he's 21, what he likes at 21, isn't going to be the same at 30. Don't rush. If yours is a strong love, it will last thru school, you'll both then have degrees, good jobs, and be in a far better position to decide on your future together....What should you do? Nothing --- stop pushing, and just let it evolve. And after you are married, wait several years before you begin your family.... children are not binding, they are divisive, and your marriage must be solid to withstand the trauma of child rearing, should you choose to have any.
2007-01-23 00:16:09 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't going to be my most elegant answer but I've been there done that.
Yes, you're most definitely too young. I married at 18 and I missed out on a lot of the college experience most have...I regret that, my wife has said as much as well.
Take advantage of your youth and have fun. Marriage and family can wait. Learn to stand on your own first.
If he's still around after you have an education, then think about the future with him.
2007-01-23 00:51:21 · answer #3 · answered by down_and_out 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is smart
and you as smart you let him go to college
get a degree and then a career
and let him be a man
you will NOT tie him down
you'll wait until he is about 30 to 35 BEFORE getting married
any sooner and you wreck both of your lives, as if you marry too soon
despite all you best interests
you probaly get pregnant
he'll have to drop out of college
and get a low paying service job
and then resent you for trapping him
he'll evetually cut his losses and divorce you
and figure he might struggle for a while but the odds that if he gets a secodn chance at life he might do himself better
you are selfish for want to marry so young and tie him down so early on in life
2007-01-23 00:02:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just wait until you are both ready. If your ready, you will stay ready. If he loves you he will come around with time. Do not pressure him, it will only drive him away.
In the mean time, go to college and have a good time.
2007-01-23 00:36:57 · answer #5 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to enjoy the relationship... now, and with all that it means to you. Plan to continue with college, and focus on your growth too. Trust that by looking out for you, the best will happen for you. If marriage is in the cards, it will happen... but don't cheat yourself out of the growth and preparation college affords.
2007-01-22 23:51:21 · answer #6 · answered by justr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to respect his decision rignt now, you are both are quite]young and you have your whole life ahead of you. so get your
education out of the way. then see how it goes what the rush'if
it really is love then it will pass the test of time. dont you think.
2007-01-23 00:20:31 · answer #7 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait. if you are meant to be together then you have forever to get married.
if not you will be incredibly grateful that you didn't. this is one of those things that only time can tell.
2007-01-23 00:09:45 · answer #8 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please please please, go to school first. i am going to school with 2 small children, and a husband and let me just tell you, it is pretty hard! if you are meant to be, then it will continue even throughout school, and careers etc..
2007-01-22 23:49:37 · answer #9 · answered by *never give up* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋