How do I deal with the snooty attitudes?

Question

I swear, I feel like one of those kids in grade school that didn't get any valentines.
Today at work (I wait tables) one of the girls wrote on a little sheet of paper everyone that worked theres name except mine, and she wrote in in crayon. I haven't done anything to her, hell I've been nice to her. I tried being sociable, holding the door open for her, taking her food out. She's in particularly bitchy. I don't ask to hang out and I don't try to nag or scream for attention, and I'm not one to force friendships, but I work with a bunch of giggly, lip glossed obsessed girls that talk about nothing but boys, their hair and the latest trends. Imagine five chickens squawking. I don't want to be part of their little clique at work because I've graduated high school, I need not deal with that immature behavior, but it gets really lonely at work.
How do I work around this? I don't want to be the complete outcast, but I don't feel the need to dumb myself down to fit in with these people.

And it's supposed to be a team effort. I don't consider it a team when me and someone else that work there have to pick up all of the slack when they just stand around socializing. It's true that life isn't fair, but sometimes things need to change.

Answer 1

I have been where you are so many times. I will tell you from experience that just letting them be them and you be you is how it works. Don't stoop to their level, Make them wonder what they are doing wrong to you. It is obvious that they look up to you or find a quality that you have and they don't. (MATURITY) So if I where you I would take that thought to work with me everyday. Hold your head high. You are you and no one can be like you. Lastly if they are not doing their jobs don't stick your neck out to help them if they don't return the favor. That is just making you look like an easy target to walk all over. Trust me they will continue to tread where they feel welcome. Good Luck to you!!

Answer 2

I hope this doesn't come across as rude but if you're waiting tables, you don't get paid enough to deal with this kind of b.s. The upside is, you're going to have to look really hard to find someone to pay you less. One of the nice things about being near the entry end of the wage scale is that you can go just about anywhere and make the same (if not better) money.

The employer needs you worse than you need it. It's not worth being unhappy. If it were me I'd put in my notice and move on.

Answer 3

It is time for you to get tough with your self and search for a better way to earn a living maybe. I worked as a server several times and it was always the same, rude workers, rude managers and so forth. Sometimes a crew just fits, but until then just smile and think of England. Dumbing down works but only for a short while. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Become closer with that other person who seems to be working, and then together stop doing thier job, see if they catch on. I have found that snotty women like that are used to getting thier way and when they dont they just collapse, its sad but funny all at the same time (sorry I sounded mean right there, lol).

Answer 5

I'm sorry you are having to deal with that. There's always at least one.
If she thinks she can manipulate you she will just keep acting that way. I would not go out of my way to be mean, or to be nice to her, just be pleasant, but detached. Realize that only people that are deeply insecure, or a little "off" act this way. Even if it doesn't appear that way with the lip gloss and all, believe me they are compensating too much. Don't wait for reactions to see if they are going to be nice or smile after you hold the door, just go about your business.
If they are slacking, wait to see if the manager notices, you don't want to be a trouble maker. If it is so bad that you have something concrete to take to your manager about how their lack of work is making it too difficult to do your job properly, tell your manager. But be professional, do not make personal remarks about them, or lip gloss, just stick to facts about how it's affecting your work. Hopefully you have a good manager, if you think it will make it worse for you to talk to her, maybe you should get a new job if you are miserable.
Take reassurance that we all have to deal with clones of these little "mean girl" wannabees. I promise you the little games these girls play will come back to bite them in the butt, the decent guys will be turned off by it, and any smart girl will not want to befriend them. Rent Mean Girls, it will make you feel better!! But take the high road at work.

P.S. Be careful how much you let people like this in (don't give them personal information, etc.). People who prove themselves trustworthy you can let closer, but people like the ones at work you've got to keep them at arms lenghth. Take Care of yourself! This will pass.

Answer 6

I guess she's picking on you (trying to get you going) because you don't seem to be affected by the other's behavior. Especially because of your acting more grown up, it seems she feels intimidated and just wants a reaction out of you...Just keep on killing them with kindness, it'll be hard for a while, try to add on a conversation here and there, just try not to show them how much you are hurt right now. Eventually, you will find your spot in the group, and they will accept you for who you are!

Answer 7

Don't worry about it.You have nothing to gain from knowing those kind of people anyway.You will be more popular with a wider variety of people just stay the way you are.

Answer 8

oh those type of people get on my nerves!!