My husband cheated on me 5 years ago. He said it was only a friendly chat with the other woman. They could talk for hours on the phone. They also hang out together. However, they were doing all those behind my back. I chose to forgive him due to our two young kids. However, I have caught him seeing the same woman many times during the last 5 years, most recenlty last month. He promises to leave her every time when I caught them together. He sounds very sincere when he makes a promise so I choose to believe him every time. So he made a promise to leave her again last month when I caught them. Is he going to keep it? How can I tell if he is serious?
2007-01-22 15:21:20 · 19 answers · asked by Minnie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why would he keep his promise he hasn't yet and you don't hold him accountable.
2007-01-22 17:12:51 · answer #1 · answered by tomimegi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up!!!! He is not going to leave her because you enable him. I caught my husband leading a double life. I found a letter to a girl that he was seeing. He tried to lie and say he wrote the letter because I was insecure and he wanted to hurt me. what is worse? premediated malicious acts or the actual deed itself. Well I have two boys and I did not want them to see me as an example of letting him get away with that. What kind of person would I be to show weakness to two small children that were watching all of this. I want them to see ME!! The happy confident me. So I told him just this. I hope that affair was worth every penny, because everytime you are with her in the future, you will be paying me about 5k. No joke. I am happy, and he is miserable. I met a great guy that would not cheat or lie on me either. So GET OUT AND SAVE YOUR SELF ESTEEM !!! You will look back and be glad you did.
2007-01-22 15:29:46 · answer #2 · answered by Joy P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The simple fact is, that he stood up at your wedding before you, all your Friends, family and God himself and swore our societies most sacred vows of matrimony. He has proven incapable of honouring this vow, so why would you suspect that any other promises he made would be credible. Besides you, your families and God being there to witness this most solemn vow, there was one other person there, your Husband. How can he face the world with his head held high when he knows he failed in keeping this vow.
I won't tell you what to do, but I will suggest that you cannot expect anymore from this man than what you have already seen. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-01-22 16:10:47 · answer #3 · answered by al b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real question is: Are you really ready to forgive him? Is this really what you want for the rest of your life? Every time he walks out the door you are going to have this voice in the back of your head wondering is he going to go see her. There is no definite answer here for anyone to give you. You have all the answers. This isn't a one time thing he has shown you that this is a patterned behavior. Don't settle for less than what you deserve.
2007-01-22 15:31:59 · answer #4 · answered by p_eulb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's been with her for 5 YEARS! And he knows you're not going to do a darned thing about it. He has no intention of EVER stopping seeing her. That's a long relationship he's had with her, now. They're practically married. Don't believe him anymore. You're going to have to either accept that he has a mistress who is a permanent addition to your marriage, or you can leave him. That's your choice. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. I really feel for you, but you do need to face the facts here.
2007-01-22 15:28:50 · answer #5 · answered by Jess H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im sure your husband loves you and the kids but there is something about this woman he loves to much to let go. he not gonna keep his promise. (in your question) look at how many times he's broken the promises. PROMISES are not ment to be broken! he's hurting you and if he's hurting you he's hurting the kids. let the other woman have him. i guarantee he'll be breaking just as many promises to her that he's gonna stop messing with you behind her back (or some other chick). he's gonna do exactly what your gonna let him get away with. when your ready to stop letting him have his cake and eat it too. do your kids a favor...................SLAM THAT SH*T IN HIS FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-22 15:40:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hate to say it serves you right
but it serves you right
you have no self esteeem
that and you fear starting all over after a divorce
NEVER stay in marriage for the "kids"
they don't benefit from seeing lying cheating unahppy parents
if anything they will just copy the very same triats when they grow up and will resent you
and they too will end up in miserable marriages
but you can break that cycle by divorcing him now
2007-01-22 15:25:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
cheeze! you'll get half of everything, the house, support and alimony! i'll bet he was sincere, he's got a lot to lose! tell him the very next time you're calling the locksmith and then the lawyer in that order! see if she still wants him with no money!!
2007-01-22 15:27:47 · answer #8 · answered by car dude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him, he will not change. Think about it this way:
How many times has he actually cheated where he HAS NOT been caught? Now I BET that question will drive you nuts, because you will never know.
2007-01-22 15:25:44 · answer #9 · answered by SphinxEyez999 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but, I don't believe he'll keep that promise. He hasn't in the past and you've enabled him, and there are no consequences if he gets caught.
2007-01-22 15:26:34 · answer #10 · answered by Brainiac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he keeps breaking the promise, there is no way that you can ever trust him. Are you sure they aren't just friends? Was it really cheating?
2007-01-22 15:25:01 · answer #11 · answered by stripedbook 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋