2007-01-22 15:04:53 · 8 answers · asked by Cathy B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You will have to stop doing this stuff for him. He will never learn if you are always there to bail him out. He may miss a couple of appointments and things like that, but this is no longer your responsibility unless either you want to do this the rest of his life, or you want him to lay that on someone else, like a future wife.
2007-01-22 15:09:39 · answer #1 · answered by imtami75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't instilled that in him yet I think you are expecting a miracle. You just need to let him fall on his face. He is old enough to make and keep his own appointments. I am guessing that you have always done everything for him and he is used to it. STOP babying him and he will be forced to grow up. In other words, do not be a codependent. Cut the umbilical cord....He should be working and beginning to learn to take care of himself. Even if he is in high school or college, he should have a part time job.
2007-01-22 23:36:32 · answer #2 · answered by Santa's Elf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOTHING (on the stuff that wont impact him for the rest of his life)
seriously do nothing
STAY out of it
avoid the urge to bail him out of whatever problems his irresponsibility causes immediate harm, you must intervene (dialiysis (sp) treatments etc) but everything else just let him deal with it!
When the consequences are worse than what he is confortable with, he will stop.
So if he is late to a job interview, he wont get the job....this is its own consequence.
Because you loved him, you were probably protecting him from these kinds of things when he should have been learning these lessons....
Better late then never.
Set deadlines (dont make threats) and have consequences.
If you do not got to your 'x' appointment, you cannot use my car this weekend (or whatever)
then when the time comes STAND FIRM!
GOOD LUCK
(his future wife thanks you)
2007-01-22 23:17:20 · answer #3 · answered by kissmymiddlefinger 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
IF you've waited until he is 18 to correct this problem, then there is probably nothing you can do at this point. In reality, all you can do is make him wish he had done whatever it was he was supposed to do. If you are still supporting him, take away something like a cell phone or other priviledges. I know this is not what you wanted to hear, but this is like closing the gates after all the cows have already gotten out.
2007-01-22 23:11:27 · answer #4 · answered by junior 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he lives on his own then he should be able to figure that one out--we usually do
If he is at home cut all extras that is keeping him on the purse.
Once he has to be more self reliant then your job to worry about such things are over with--simply he is now an adult and adults have to accept the consequences of actions or in this case lack of action.
2007-01-22 23:11:31 · answer #5 · answered by Cherish B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow! already 18 and now you're asking? well I personally think you waited much too long to instill these values in him, but that aside, all you can hope for now is that he's going to step up to the plate and grow into a responsible man...you cannot allow yourself to be ruled by your own guilt, perhaps it's your fault, perhaps he's just flakin it off onto you...he needs to grow up, be responsible for his life, otherwise he's going to be living with you and mooching off of you when he's 30...sorry, but I've seen it happen in real life, just the way it is......
2007-01-22 23:30:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
try some sort of incentive. like if he stays on top of his appointments all week he can do something you don't ordinarily allow him to do. This will work really well if he has a curfew. Offer to extend it an hour one night of the weekend or something.
2007-01-22 23:09:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
model the behavior, have you been doing that?
2007-01-22 23:40:59 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Natural 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋