I thought I would be nice because he turns 54 this month, so I took him and anyone else he wanted out to dinner. It cost a small fortune and I paid the entire bill.
While we were eating, his mother starts blabbing about his ex wife and their kids. On and on and on and on. So what was the point?
Frankley, I am sick of hearing about his ex wife. I cant go anywhere with him without hearing about this woman. They have been divorced since 2000. She is re married.
He has never met nor do I ever discuss my ex husband. Its a mute point.
Why does everyone insist on talking about his ex wife. Isnt it a little disrespectful of me and my adult children? We dont give a crap about this woman. Should I just shut up and suck it up?
2007-01-22 15:04:38 · 9 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
bronze is correct
she is forever tied to his ex
she probaly got along very well with her
hence why she brags about her
she'll never fault her own soon for the divorce
hec she might even blame you
but your correct
it very disrespectful
but you do not have to take it
being nice will not necessarily solve the problem either
so paying for any more future dinner is a no go
make her a person non grata
she is no longer allowed to your house
any visits are quick ( 30 min or less ) and infrequent
spend more time wih your hubby
make sure he sees less of her as well
and the grand kids should see less of her as well
sooner or later she'll clue in
control the phone as well
selectively delete all message from her
never pick up the phone to chat to her
refuse all requests to even talk to her should hubby be on the phone and want to hand it off over to you. be polite , courteous but firm in your manners and resolve
2007-01-22 15:32:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sure it can be annoying.
On the other hand "this woman" is the mother of his children and had a history with his family. Try to change the subject when she comes up to something more neutral and reassert yourself. I think she's just yanking your chain. If you kill her with kindness, she will come around. She's just testing you right now so hang in there! Don't turn into a witch, bc that's what she's waiting for.
Husbands hate when the two most important women in their lives are at each others' throats. Don't turn into a bitter green-eyed monster bc then you will make yourself less desirable all around. Be smarter!
2007-01-22 15:38:44 · answer #2 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you intend on having a relationship w/this man, yes, you'll have to suck it up and keep quiet. You now know that your future mother-in-law adores her grandchildren and their mother--his mom probably has a long history with his ex & those are her grandchildren (& she's probably very proud of them). I understand it is uncomfortable for you, but relatives on the periphery of a failed marriage do not close a part of their life just because the kid's marriage fell apart.
If you feel this is a point of contention for your happiness, it would be better if you found someone who doesn't have kids and an ex. Additionally, this is his mom. If he idolizes her and you find that you cannot contain your irritation around the subject of his mother talking about his ex and begin making his life miserable, you will force him to choose between the two of you. Don't be surprised if he chooses his mom--no man wants a woman that isn't supportive of his every breath. Do this man a favor and allow him to find someone that appreciates him and the wonderful family man he is.
But really, it sounds like you were most irritated because dinner didn't center around you and that you weren't acknowledged for the wonderfully magnanimous person you were being.
2007-01-22 15:30:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hell no don't just suck it up! Where is your significant other, why isn't he speaking up? You deserve respect and sometimes you need to serve up a little lip with sass. Tell her and anyone else, if they feel so blowed over of this lady, then by all means go be with her, but get the chance to know you and see how decent you can be. But your guy needs to be a man and stand up for you! IF she is/was so great why aren't they still together.
2007-01-22 15:11:48 · answer #4 · answered by notnew2U 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she just handed herself a big fat ignore button. I would selectively choose to not be around her. Don't make a big deal out of it, just be conveniently busy or host "initimate" dinners without her. She knows what she did and it is up to her to fix it or deal with being involved much less. Too bad for her.
2007-01-22 15:14:01 · answer #5 · answered by JULIE J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is "moot" point. Get used to this if you are going to have a life with this man. Have you forgotten the "test"? Put your best game face on.
2007-01-22 15:12:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stop paying attention to her, ignore every word she says and when she notice that you don't care about she'll stop...she don't gain anything by talking about her..she'll get over it.
2007-01-22 15:12:20 · answer #7 · answered by D_na 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
EW shame on her for treating you that way...I would tell your man to talk to her about it...Thats a tough one I wish I could give you more advice babe.
2007-01-22 15:09:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
his mother doesnt think you are good enough for her son... you will hear this forever from her...
2007-01-22 15:07:45 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋