I love my husband, but it seems like our bad times outweigh our good times. Before pointing out his faults, I want to say that I am impatient with BS, aggressive, and when I'm heated about something, my mouth is everything less than an angel. His faults-CHEATED & kept lieing about it for over a month before he confessed. Just a few months of marriage. We did go to counseling 2x. Just the other day, the lady that he cheated with called his phone. When confronted, he said he didn't know who the number was. He seems to always delete #s & texts out of his phone. I told him he needs to call her in front of me & let her know she needs to stop calling him since he claims that he does not call her. He did not oblige. In fact, he went off on me. He does take care of me. He gets upset with me because I have sought out advice on here. Little does he know that I don't have anyone that I can completely vent to about this embarassing situation. I won't meet any of you...so help!!
2007-01-22 14:41:49 · 16 answers · asked by PEACHFACE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
leave he will cheat again
2007-01-22 14:46:35 · answer #1 · answered by can u ♥ moi? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, PEACHFACE....you don't mind if I call you PEACHFACE, do you?....any guy that cheats on his wife after only a few months of marriage is not even worth fighting for. And, then if you add all the rest of the stuff that you mention here on top of it...well, why don't you just beat your hand with a hammer? It would hurt a lot less that what this guy is dishing out.
Of course, there is always the other side of the coin. I don't know any couple that's having trouble that got that way because of only one person, although I suppose that it is possible. But, you even admit that you are no angel...or at least your mouth is less than angelic. So, what have you contributed to this mess?
After all is said and done, however, what you have described sounds impossible to me. I can't imagine this relationship going anywhere at all.
Get out now while you are young, childless (I hope), and can get this behind you with a future ahead.
Time to cash in the coins and move on.
2007-01-22 22:55:35 · answer #2 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your faults are far less abusive and detrimental than his faults, honey. He hurt you knowingly and willingly. You being aggressive and knowing what you want is not what I would even call a fault. But cheating is something someone does knowing the effects that his/her actions will cause. And the fact he wants you to keep this all to yourself and let it fester inside of you, tells alot. He sounds controlling and childish. You need to leave him, before it has the chance to go any further. Especially w/ a child on the way. Do what is best for you and your child. Good luck to you and God bless.
2007-01-23 17:26:07 · answer #3 · answered by ksueditz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is built on a foundation of friendship (or it is "supposed" to be at least) and friendship is built on trust.... which he broke... I would have to say that most of the other people here have told you what you should do about him.... let him go to that little hussy and she will find out? he will cheat on her next.... once a cheater, always a cheater! it is never easy though to end something so special, I know...... which brings me to your question...... why does it hurt? it hurts because he is the one person who should have respected you in this whole world... he did more than embarrass you.... he humilated you... violated the precious gift of trust, honor and your life to share.... he should not be upset that you sought advice here.... he should read these replies himself and feel embarrassed at what is has done!!! and beg your forgiveness!!! he should have called that "person" (nicest word for what she is!) in front of you and shown you some of that respect by telling her just how much more you are to him....without you having to have asked........ and the people around you? your friends there? you should 100% be able to vent to them! not be embarrassed to tell them.... because unfortunately? most (if not all) of us have been where you are, and he will be the one who is humiliated... those friends are there to share the hurt we feel.... to make it better.... until you can though? you can have my shoulder and ear.... I think by looking at the other replies here? you have many others who would say that too?! and remember; you can love almost anyone/everyone..... but it is the one you can trust that deserves to hold on to you!! btw? the faults you cite of yours? they are human nature! his is a "FAULT" we all have tempers of sort sort and get angry.... we don't all cheat!! we do not all lie!! hope this helped with your unasked question.... and the one you asked
2007-01-22 23:23:10 · answer #4 · answered by elusive_001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you love him? Why do you stay? You say he takes care of you? How? Monetarily? Think more of yourself. You are trying to get someone to work on the marriage and love you that evidently doesn't. He does not love you or he would not cheat on you and he doesn't give a flip about the marriage or he would not have have cheated. My granny used to say that you can't steal an unwilling heart. He had to of wanted to cheat so you can't blame her. he is telling you he does not love you and that he is not happy and that he does not want to be married regardless of what you do. Even if you had a horrible mouth, the honest thing to do would be to tell you he doesn't like it and let's work on it, not go and run around. Honey, you deserve more than that. Don't take that crap and before you get into another relationship work on your insecurities so you don't choose another guy like him. Run!
2007-01-22 23:06:42 · answer #5 · answered by healergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you may have answered your own question. If you are aggressive and "when I'm heated about something, my mouth is everything less than an angel", you may have a problem he can't deal with. If you don't have anyone to 'vent' to, maybe you need to go to a counselor. I think the problem lies with you and you are the only person that YOU can change. If he sees a better mate, he will want to have you as his mate. If you continue this path, I'm afraid you will get just what you don't want- lies, deception, and loneliness..............
2007-01-22 22:52:23 · answer #6 · answered by daddysnurse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please leave this man immediately!!! He is still cheating on you and probably always will. You say he takes care of you but that just isn't enough. You need someone to take care of you and treats you with some respect. This guy sounds like a loser and I hope he reads all these responses because he is an idiot that deserves nothing but unhappiness. He IS still cheating, trust me, I've been there!! Good-luck and find yourself happiness.
2007-01-22 23:01:02 · answer #7 · answered by Mustang Sally 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is hiding his phone numbers and playing dumb because he is still seeing her. He probably doesn't want her to find out about the counseling. Get a lawyer, file for divorce. He will continue to cheat and once she has had enough of the cheating, he will find someone else to put up with it. this is a vicious cycle and you need to break it now. Best wishes!!
2007-01-22 22:56:25 · answer #8 · answered by country girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you want to do? I know you are aching with pain, but you must think of yourself and any kids if there are any. He takes care of you? When are you going to take care of yourself? Besides "God" you are the only one that is going to love you and take care of you. I don't advocate divorce unless physical abuse and cheating is involved. I don't know if you are a christian, but the bible says that is the one allowable reason for dissolvement of a marriage, spousal cheating. But, you have a brain, start using it and take care of yourself. If another lady is bold enough to call your house, what's next? A visit! He will only appreciate you when you are gone.
2007-01-22 23:07:52 · answer #9 · answered by notnew2U 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart. If you truly love him and can forgive him for cheating then try. If not, then let it go now while it's easier. It may not seem easier now but it is. If there is no way that you will ever be able to get over his infidelity then let it go and get on with separate lives.
2007-01-22 22:54:37 · answer #10 · answered by Miranda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is obsessed and can't get over the end of the affair. Or maybe is lying to you again...remember men love to have women fight for them. Can anyone say ego! Just aware of what could be happening here, remember this is your life and you should come first!
2007-01-22 22:52:37 · answer #11 · answered by womanofthesouth1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋