I think my husband lied about something a yr ago and i ask him many times to be honest with me about it and he said he was being honest..My question is should i withold sex until i get the truth from him.
2007-01-22 14:32:00 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well i havent questioned him about this for a good 6 or 7 months cause he would always get mad when i did so i stopped.
2007-01-22 14:44:46 · update #1
No you shouldn't. Sex should never be used as a weapon or withheld as a punishment. That is supposed to be an expression of your love for each other not a battlefield.
2007-01-22 14:35:51 · answer #1 · answered by mjm52 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, lets start by clearing things up...
You don't want to hear the truth. You want to hear him admit to lying. He may have already given you the truth but the fact that you're asking on here means you don't accept it, and you won't be happy until you hear another story.
But putting that aside, it always kind of bothered me when girls used witholding sex as a manipulation device.
Let's say that the situation was reversed. If he said he wasn't going to talk to you, hug you, kiss you, or do any of the things you enjoy him for, do you think that would make you more or less likely to open up and share something that you feel ashamed about. (Not saying he did anything, but you get the point)
Personally, I would feel that I was in a bad situation and that now would be the worst possible time to admit to anything bad. Putting him in the dog house, so to speak, will do one of two things, either he'll clam up even tighter and never admit to anything, or he'll feel there's nothing he can do to fix this and this will simply destroy your marriage.
So my advice is based on what you really want. If you want the truth, you have to make him comfortable to tell the truth. If you want to force him to say something, then witholding sex is probably the fastest way, but don't be surprised if you're not happy with what you hear.
2007-01-22 22:40:45 · answer #2 · answered by Xeno 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you are using something that is shared only between you two as a tool for punishment? That's not right. He says he's being honest and you dont believe him. If you can proive he's a liar, confront him with the truth and then work it from there. If you love the guy enough to forgive him, fantastic, but dont ever, ever think you have the right to use such a psychologically damaging tool as deprevation of sex to your husband as a form of punishment. Watch it girl, you're treading on dangerous ghround. Push it too far and you might find he'll drift away from you really fast.
2007-01-22 22:38:20 · answer #3 · answered by jerry666_98 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can try that. But it depends on what you think he is being dishonest about, if it was an affair then witholding sex is not the answer because if you think he is lying about it, he'll just go out there and get some....again. One monkey don't stop no show, when it comes to cheating. If it is not about infidelity, try and it and see, if you feel it in your heart that he is lying, then maybe you need to do some investigating on your own & quit asking him about it because obviously you are not getting anywhere with him.
2007-01-22 22:40:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should never withhold sex to manipulate. That's just not healthy for a marriage. If you withhold sex you will just put more tension on your relationship. Whatever it was, was a year ago. If he hasn't told you by now, he's not going to. And if he is being honest, you are not being at all fair to him by questioning him over and over. In your own words..........you "think" he lied. So who's truth are you after? Yours or his? Drop the subject and hold on to your marriage.
2007-01-22 22:43:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No withholding sex doesnt get u anywhere
1- What do u want him to say........what if he aint lying....u want him to lie for sex?
2- U are hurting urself 4 not trusting him
3- it was a yr ago, move on and keep ur eyes open.
Hope that helps
2007-01-22 22:38:21 · answer #6 · answered by Hi my name is... 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's kind of like ObiWan Kenobi. If you strike him down with no sex he is bound to become the Zen Master and turn the tables on you. Can you hold out?
2007-01-22 22:35:34 · answer #7 · answered by alwaysmoose 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. That's not the way to solve the problem. If you trust him, let it go. If you don't trust him, then you need to really examine yourself and your life and figure out why you don't trust him. You might need to go see a counselor, you might need to just let it go. But withholding sex will damage your relationship far more than the current situation.
2007-01-22 22:36:12 · answer #8 · answered by madmusician007 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
y not. It's working on this side. Sex is now a three letter word in the dictionary.
2007-01-22 22:38:16 · answer #9 · answered by n9wff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So how long has this been eating you? How long have you been bugging him? And now ... a year later ... you want to withhold sex from him? Yeah, I would ... then he might find someone else and dump you.
2007-01-22 22:41:37 · answer #10 · answered by morahastits 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋