the meaning of emotional abuse is constantly not meeting anothers personal needs. But I am still in denial of all these things. This is a gentle man but constantly tramples on my feelings and acts 12. I guess with all that I have mentioned, there is not hope for this marriage, oh did I mention, not interested in trying to settle with the IRS, which has my name tied to it as the first year of marriage, he took out his 401k...which was $21,000....and he owed them $8,000 for at least 4 years...He just ignores them....What should I do. I am beside myself, but in denial..somebody, help me so I can smarten up..He is totaly disfunctional and 52 going on 12...Totally spoiled by his Mother, who gives him a free life. She is 79 and not in good health, he is not compassionate.....to her he wants her money and everything free. He rented over the lst 2 months $200.00 in Porn movies, he has gone bac with his mother and I have to pay for this, plus before he left, I paid his vehicle insuranc
2007-01-22 14:08:48 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like you are enabling him too. You need to present this to your attorney so that you may leave him high and dry.
2007-01-22 14:14:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I hate to sound like a pessimist but it seems like you are heading straight for a divorce. I wouldn't put up with this for one more minute. Get a lawyer, a good one. Get one that can fight down and dirty. Don't be hesistant to do this, his mother will certainly hire him a good one. Be the first out of the gate. The lawyer can advise you about the IRS thing. I would at least contact them and see what is going on and what it would take to get it taken care of and if they would be willing to take less. Remember that $8000 has had interest and penalties put on top of it for as long as it wasn't paid. Be prepared, it will be more than you think. He will keep this up for the rest of his life. He will NEVER change. He will ALWAYS cater to his "mommy". You will ALWAYS be last on his list. Leave before you are hurt worse than you are now. You deserve better.
Don't forget to get the $200 back for his "movies" in the divorce agreement. I would just to stick it to him. Good luck!!
2007-01-22 14:39:27 · answer #2 · answered by country girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW...Men are such jerks. And you know the best thing to do so it cant continue to happen is to get a divorce, although his debts that occured while you were married will have to still be paid for, I am sure if you get a good lawyer and have proof that it was his expences and you didn't approve/agree/know about them, it might be that he will be responsible and not you. My boyfriend tried to not pay his half of the rent once and I threw all of his clothes outside in the rain...Your next man, make sure he's a MAN and pays his own way in life, although those seem hard to find now aways
2007-01-22 14:16:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds as if u are code pendant, and are allowing him to drag u down also. get the courage to leave him, when we go into denial we are actually trying to avoid the pain of whats going on, its when we accept it and face it and see it for what it is, are we able to make changes. my ex also owed the IRS, but i never filed income taxes with him, and was never tied to it. he is immature, due to his upbringing, due to his mother raising him this way. don't pay anymore of his bills distance yourself from him, than decide what u want to do. would u be better with or without him?
2007-01-22 15:02:18 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be willing to help yourself before anyone can help you and so far you're not willing. You are an adult, no one can tell you what to do...You have allowed all of this to happen rather than putting a stop to it. Until YOU do something it will continue.
2007-01-22 14:51:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
AHHH! Get a good lawyer and get a divorce. I hope you have a good job and can support yourself. Cut your losses and move on.
2007-01-22 14:28:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
pack your bags, grab the divorce papers and don't look back. Who in their right mind would WANT to be in this disaster?
2007-01-22 14:41:37 · answer #7 · answered by n9wff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heavenly Father I ask that your Spirit would touch Julie's heart, she is hurting, please help her through this messy situation, counsole her and teach her how to deal with this....in Jesus mighty name...amen
2007-01-22 14:30:17 · answer #8 · answered by Bert 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋