Learning to Relax?

Question

I'm in high school and I know people who are very crooked, and complicated with lots of twists and turns personality wise. My family's a bit complicated mentally (bad history), and I have to be extra careful and sensitive, also acting much older than my supposed teenage expectation.
However, as I'm maturing, I meet better friends and they happen to be trustworthy, straight forwards, forgiving, nice, and simple. I'm not used to it. I'm also not used to relaxing very much, and I'm occasionally overly serious.
It's hard for me to blend with my new growing number of friends and learn how to deal with things on a logical and simple scale.
What can I do to learn how to trust and be less sensitive?

Answer 1

Learning to trust after being abused is real tough for people to do. Consider talking to the school's counselor.

Answer 2

Dear Mikail - You say you are in High School? Wow! I'm impressed by your depth and obvious maturity. However that said, I feel, and I say feel because I am no psyhologist nor therapist that you are overthinking everything. Just so you know, pretty much EVERYBODY has a complicated, unhealthy and somewhat mental family life. Sad but true. I don't know of one single friend of mine (and we are well old enough to be parents of young adults) who hasn't or didn't have a bad childhood or some really messed up family relationships or serious wrongs done to them.

It is great that you are meeting good friends who are supportive and trustworthy, honest etc etc. You say "you aren't used to relaxing very much and are occasionally overly serious"...but I feel that in today's society we are all a little tense, and many of us are overly serious at times...including myself.

To trust will hopefully come naturally to you as you get more comfortable with your friends and find someone in particular that you feel free with and feel you can open up to and perhaps share deeper thoughts and feelings...ie; trust. Go slow and give yourself time. Don't force anything, but listen to that inner voice and your 'gut' instincts and you will know what is right.

But remember this, we relive our patterns from our families...sadly (for some anyway). So know that your inability to totally trust and be 'sensitive' may be with you for life. Hopefully, you can break away from those patterns and relax and enjoy life to the fullest. I hope this helped and Good Luck to you.

One more thing. Sensitivity to others is a GOOD thing...a rare and special trait. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Go slowly...if you've been hurt a lot, it's understandable that you are suspicious, and sensitive. Trust your instincts...you seem intelligent...listen, pay attention, and use your intuition.
Be honest with yourself....you can't judge everyone by your past, and your new friends should have a fair chance to prove that they deserve your trust.
It is true, you will be hurt again, sooner or later, but finding a few good friends makes it worth the risk!

Answer 4

Trust is something earned. I think most of us growing up have all felt, at more times than we would like to admit, anxiety about trusting others. Especially after someone violates trust. Learning to trust your self first will allow you to relax around others. Just be yourself and keep one eye open, but don't stress on it.

Answer 5

If you are really interest to deal with your friends, you must have to know the Psychology of Human being you can get this from book, which are available from good book stall and start reading this, I am sure you will be successful in your life to justify people who are closer to you.

Answer 6

1. don't think so much
2. stay social. people will let you down sometimes...if you're sensitive, your skin will thicken over time.

Answer 7

sleep!