Is There Hope?

Question

I would just like to know if there is anyone out there who has experienced a cheating spouse and there was resolution after the spouse confessed? What I mean by resolution is did the marriage/relationship continue after you discovered that cheating was going on? What type of parameters were set up?

Answer 1

I really believe you limit yourself if you only categorize resolution as the marriage / relationship continuing.

You can survive infidelity, regardless of what your unfaithful partner does.

You cannot measure your success by the actions of another It's not healthy by any stretch of the imagination.

Dr Willard Harley has a wonderful website at www.marriagebuilders.com However, it takes both parties, totally comitted to make a marriage work.

You may be able to save your marriage, or you may not. However, there is nothing to prevent you from learning and growing from the experience and becoming the best partner you can be.

If your spouse is unwilling, or unable to see that, at some point, that becomes her problem, and the only healthy thing left to do is to let her go.

Sometimes, that is the only resolution possible.

Answer 2

Sure there is hope, there is always hope. What is the outcome that you want? You don't say in here what you want. I have had the anguish of having my spouse cheat on me and the marriage though damaged survived and even recovered to what I had wanted for a time. Later it became obvious that I was the only one who had wanted the marriage to return to a traditional marriage and as a result we later attempted an open marriage. I found myself unable to survive in this type of a relationship and we changed it again to something that is somewhere between the two extremes. We have continued our relationship and our marriage has survived and even found that we are still very much in love with each other and want to remain together. So yes there is always hope. Write me if you want to talk more.

Answer 3

It's an uphill climb. I really want to be able to trust my wife again. She understands what she did, but I'm unsure if she's aware of the extent of the damage that has been done. To her credit, she has spared little, if any, effort to earn my trust again, but that's only half the battle. The hurt I feel inside is like an open wound. There are good days and there are bad. She regrets her mistake, so I try not to hang it over her head. I try to remind myself that the important thing is for us both to learn from the experience. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't love her so very much. My hope is that our marriage will end up stronger than ever before. God knows it should be. We've certainly paid enough for it. Good luck to you, and never give up the good fight.

Answer 4

if he cheated on u, and he confessed, means maybe he wants to stop what he is doing. got to set boundaries, the boundaries are for u, that define what and what u will not put up with anymore. have to make yourself crystal clear to him that u do love him but can't invest anymore in someone who cheats, and shows disrespect for u and the marriage. and u must be prepared to go through with it if it happens again. but if it hasn't been a pattern of behavior, and up to now the marriage has been OK, than forgive him, means u have to get past it,keep your eyes open and listen to your intuition, and if it happens again u have to tell yourself that maybe this guy doesn't really love u like u love him. but there is something about one who confesses, that shows sincerety,and confessing shows maturity, and shows he was willing to admit wrong. so i think there is hope for this one based on his confession.

Answer 5

First off, ask yourself, can I ever TRUST him again? If not, then you might want to consider that. Secondly, he needs to be held accountable for his actions. AND if you are even to CONSIDER staying in this, his life must now be an OPEN BOOK until you can trust him again. He should want to do this willingly. If not...then he's not through playing games. Marriages can recover after affair, but it totally depends upon the circumstances.

Answer 6

There's only hope if both of you are willing to work at it. Immediately get into some kind of marriage counseling so the two of can talk about this and what you need to work on to get back on track. There's a lot of healing that needs to be on your part and trust is one of the hardest things to get back once it's gone. I hope things work out. Good luck.

Answer 7

Make some more lines and it will be a hit song. It is a good sounding poem the great thing about poems is you cannot mess up there is no right way to do it.

Answer 8

i had an ex and he cheated on me and told me that it would never happen again to please take him back i did and then it happened again we got divorced we stayed friends but i could never trust him again and without trust you don't have a relationship plus he never would agree to go with me to marriage counseling either so that's a sure warning sign that he will cheat again

Answer 9

I resolved this real quick. Invited him for a friendly game of baseball and told him if I hit even one ball he has to go. I hit 2 balls. He left. And the baseball was never used.

Answer 10

Its been 3 years since I found out and we are still together.