Marriage is a big waste of time when in actualality you could have been friends with that person forever (ruined expectaions etc) where as before all you did was your own thing and kicked it(then after the divorce not ever remarry again because of the pain) then try to scramble to put your life back to the way it was but this time without that person? i mean whats the point?
2007-01-22 12:46:56 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I dont care what you people have to say i still think i have a good point so there!
2007-01-22 12:56:26 · update #1
well fine yeah i did but common i some one has to have the same feelings as i on this
2007-01-22 15:39:58 · update #2
i am sorry your marraige did not work out but for those of us who are happily married, dont judge us because you are not.
2007-01-22 12:55:50 · answer #1 · answered by Thumbs down me now 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There are some valid points in your argument. The ruined expectations in a failed marriage could seem like a big waste of time and energy. If before the marriage the expectations of the husband and wife are different certainly someone is not going to get what they need from the relationship. The point is to be clear about what your expectations of a marriage are and then make sure you and your spouse are on the same page.
Writing off marriage because of a failed one is kind of giving up on life because you got hurt. Everyone is going to have their heart broken in this life. It is a fact of life. There is a part of us called self preservation that seeks to avoid pain. Isn't committing to be by yourself painful though?
There is validity in the argument that scrambling to put your life back to how it was in the marriage without your spouse is a huge waste of time. If that was the life you were happy with then you would still be married. No? Don't bother . Try creating a new chapter in your life wiser and more attuned to what your needs are.
The point of all of our experiences is to learn and grow into them so we can fufill the mission that we were sent here to do. Only you know what your purpose is.
2007-01-26 13:06:35 · answer #2 · answered by newyorktilson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Trickle, if you don't care what we think, why post the question??
My wife and I have been married for 10 years and in NO WAY do I feel that it has been a waste of time. Yes we have had our up's and down's, but we have been able to work through them. Marriage is not easy, it's hard work. The problem with why divorce is so prevelant in society today is because it's too easy, also because people take a selfish attitude into marriage, thinking what am I going to get out of my marriage, instead of thinking, what can I do to make my partner happy.
If we go into a marriage putting our partner and our partners feelings and needs before our own, marriages I feel would last alot longer.
Besides Marriage is an institution ordained by God. Also I feel that this ties in with sex, sex was created by God to be between a husband and wife AFTER they are married. Not before, or outside of marriage.
I'm sorry that you feel marriage is a waste of time, but I disagree, and from the looks of it from others who have answers, I'm not alone.
I hope that whatever pain you have been put through from a failed marriage, you are able to overcome. If that's the case, there is divorce care out there for people, and can help you to move on. And I think it would help to overcome the bitterness you feel.
2007-01-22 21:58:48 · answer #3 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your divorce was recent huh???? a little bitter??? hurt???? mad????? yep, been there and done that. I used to have those feelings too. shortly after my divorce. I only realized it was becaues i felt like a failure. It took me a long time understand that I didnt fail, I just didnt pick the right one. You see, i learned alot from my marriage. I learned that sometimes no matter how hard you try, one person can make it work. And the most valuable of all.....Sometimes love alone just isnt enough. Sweety, you got some healing to do. You will eventually stop being bitter, and realize exactly what you want and need in your life. Sometimes people dont remarry for fear of getting hurt.....but i tell you. I have been lucky enough to know true love, and I am lucky enough to know that i am capable of loving entirely. So all isnt lost. I wish you all the luck. Just give it some time. You will see eventually what i am talking about. good luck.
2007-01-22 20:57:26 · answer #4 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that you think marriage is a big waste of time.
My wish for you and everyone else who thinks like this, is to be able to see someone who has a great marriage.
When a marriage works the way our Creator God designed it to be, it is a beautiful thing to see. I hope someday you will meet and observe a couple who has one.
If you cannot find someone, read the Bible and find out what it says about how a married couple ought to treat each other.
2007-01-22 20:54:21 · answer #5 · answered by may I ask a question? 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Life is what you make it, marriage included. If both people are ready for a lifetime commitment and love each other it is a very wonderful thing. Not all marriages end in divorce. Unfortunately, there are too many people who jump into marriage with divorce already an option.
2007-01-22 20:58:46 · answer #6 · answered by QT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just think it's a bit more acceptable if the woman can see that this relationship is based on a promise of a lasting bond, than a questionable friendship. Plus let me ask you this, what happens when the girl gets pregnant and the guy say that NOW he wants to be JUST friends? I'm sorry, I think that your theory lacks responsibility! It also seems to be very poorly structured for women. You may feel you are just an object to be used, but that's not what the majority of women think!
2007-01-22 21:09:18 · answer #7 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think marriage is a big waste of time or anything even close! If you want your marriage to last then it will. If you choose to do things that will not make it last I do not feel bad for you.
Life is what you make it, it's not a guided tour!
Since you addressed this to married people what makes you think that we are all as unhappy as you, or that we want out.
Maybe this is a question for the divorced people..........
2007-01-22 20:56:01 · answer #8 · answered by littlegoober75 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The point is when you find the person you were ment to marry you make a vow in frount of friends, family, and most importantly God to honor and cherish them through sickness and health. This means that no matter how bad things get you are obligated to stay with that person nomater what. Rocks will be thrown in your path and things are going to get rocky, the wind will blow and rain is going to fall. Thats a promis. Marrige is not supposed to be easy, but if you keep the love alive no marrage is impossible to save. I dont believe in divorce, but its out there because people are weak and they forget to ask for the lords help.
2007-01-22 20:55:58 · answer #9 · answered by troubble 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't make it as married people, why do you think that you would have been friends with this person forever? Re-marriage isn't totally out of the question, just pick up the pieces of your life and go on, maybe someday you will meet someone that you trust enough to give them your heart...
2007-01-22 21:04:32 · answer #10 · answered by jim's girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people marry for all the wrong reasons. Money and lust being the biggest two reasons. Once the money and lust are gone so is the marriage. You have to love unconditionally for a marriage to work, but in saying that you have to make sure that the one you are marrying can love the same way.
2007-01-22 20:55:57 · answer #11 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋