I personally am very straight (polyamourous) but one of my better friends at school is lesbian, with a steady girlfriend. At least so I thought. This past weekend I learned she cheats by finding occasional one night stands with men off the internet or phone dating lines. She explained by stating that though she loves her girlfriend and having sex with her and also using vibrators it is "different and equally great but still not the same" as an actual live, warm, throbbing penis (her words were more graphic but they would probably be censored by Yahoo). I suggested to her she was actually bi-sexual but she declared "No way." citing that her encounters were just one time use of a body part upon occasion that she wanted it. She also claims her behaviour is "not unusual" (she did not use the word "normal") for lesbians. Is that legit? In my imagination I cannot think if I were truly gay that I'd have any desire for sex with men.
2007-01-22 12:37:13 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I (and many others) believe there is a continuum, with the extremes being straight and gay. The ways in which people develop and view their sexuality are very complex. Since there is no one agreed upon definition of what it means to be lesbian or bisexual, each person can choose to define themselves, and where they think they are on the continuum.
Therefore, I don't think anyone can truly say what your friends sexual orientation is except for her.
That being said, I don't think cheating is ever okay, and I don't think most women who are self-described lesbians sleep with men on a regular basis.
2007-01-29 10:26:18 · answer #1 · answered by FWM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say no.
On average most lesbians don't sleep with men.
But I'm part of the older crowd, maybe things have changed but I don't think so.
I would say your friend is bi.
She may not like hearing it but if she enjoys sex with men, I don't care if it's a different one every time, and sex with women then she is bi. There are no two ways about it. lol
2007-01-22 12:44:14 · answer #2 · answered by octopussy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is trying to split hairs and not really succeeding. If she is having sex with men then she really doesn't fit the definition of Lesbian. Everyone's sexuality is on a sliding scale between exclusively heterosexual and exclusively homosexual. Clearly she does not belong on the exclusive end of the scale. It is also clear that she is uncomfortable being seen as being bi sexual. Some people myself included don't like the term because it has negative conotations associated with it that they don't want applied to themselves. So don't worry about labeling her but also don't accept her using a label for herself that clearly doesn't fit with yours and everyone elses understanding of the label. The term that I like to use for myself is Sexual, not bi, not straight, not gay. Just Sexual, to me it means I am open to possibilities.
2007-01-29 08:13:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough call... your body is a system of nerves. Close your eyes, and it doesn't matter what the sex of the person is who is pleasuring you, your body will still react.
It could be that your friend is sexually attracted to both men and women, but only emotionally attracted to women.
Although homosexuality is not a choice, the label you choose to define yourself is your own choice. If she chooses to label herself as a lesbian, then that's what she is.
2007-01-22 12:49:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever your friend says, her actions are bisexual.
That said, you will not win an argument with her. It's like trying to get a person that is using drugs and denying that he is to fess up. It most likely won't happen and it doesn't make any difference anyway.
Your friend has some issues with honesty, first and foremost with herself. It's nothing to be taken personally and you are unable to change her. Obviously she is not a true example of a lesbian in spite of whatever claims she makes.
2007-01-23 15:03:46 · answer #5 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lesbians do not have sex with men. End of disscussion. She is a dishonest cheater who is hurting herself and others. It is ok to have sex with who ever you want, doesn't matter if man or woman. Don't lie to anyone. Especially to yourself and those you love. Your friend needs to grow up and accept responsibility for her wants and actions.It does not matter if she is gay or bi, she is lying to her girlfriend, and that is not alright.
2007-01-22 13:11:27 · answer #6 · answered by Lorien 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's clearly in denial about her bi-sexuality.
She may choose to love only women, but if she has sex with both men and women, she is bi-sexual, plain and simple.
2007-01-22 12:42:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were correct no longer to %. up no longer some thing. She seems no longer to appreciate the incontrovertible actuality that you had to artwork and so on.. i might want to allow you to recognize wiped clean up in the back of your self earlier you left the party and that you probably did no longer have time to help her clean up everybody elses mess.
2016-12-02 22:16:23 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say your friend needs a little help, and she's probably bi. If your unsure just ask her, but be careful about how you do it
2007-01-22 12:52:07 · answer #9 · answered by flamingbeans247 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunatly in the gay community playing around on your partner just seems to be the norm . its sad really that sex has to play such a negative role in our lives
2007-01-23 03:37:16 · answer #10 · answered by jason s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋