When a couple meets, they are really into each other. But once the baby comes, the husband seems to become just a paycheck for the woman and her baby. It as if she says, "I've got him by the balls through marriage or child support, so I'll ignore him unless I want something from him."
2007-01-22 12:14:21 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sad but true. When a woman becomes a mother, her children seem to become more important than her husband. Tell her about it and wake her up. Tell her if she continues this way, you will find your pleasure outside.
2007-01-22 19:43:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This problem could be caused by many different reasons depending on the woman. Having children changes your life and you both have to work at caring for them and still find time for each other. Most husbands expect the wife to be the main caregiver and homemaker and some expect to be cared for as well when he gets home. This comes from the concept that he works hard all day and she has been home all day. Truth is that a stay at home mom works very hard as well. Do you help with child care or share in the household duties that are usually done in the evening such as dinner or getting the baby/children ready for bed, helping with homework etc.? I can remember being so exhausted by end of day that all I wanted was to drop into bed to sleep. In respect...a woman needs to be ready to help out her husband when he needs help. I know many women that won't even consider doing a "mans" job. Ridiculous. We often forget that our top priority is our mate, then our children, without neglecting either. Sit down with your wife and talk this out and make it priority to give each other time, respect and patience. The baby needs and deserves to have parents that show these traits to each other. They will be happier and healthier for it. Don't stop 'dating'. You must have your time alone. Plan evenings to get her away from the house or take the baby to a family sitter for a special evening at home. And don't become lax in your appearance. Keep attractive for each other. Remember why you married in the first place. I've been married for 33 years. We went through the same problems but made it work. I realized that I didn't want to lose my husband so I changed my attitude, my ways and I've never been sorry... Love, respect, sharing. It 's hard... but all things worth having are worth the effort.
2007-01-22 13:34:51 · answer #2 · answered by vetta1954 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, when a baby arrives the world changes for any couple. The new mother has a new role in life and that is the care-provider for a new life. If the father is wise he will be right there to help her in any way he can. When the baby cries in the night he can jump right up and change the diaper and hand the sweet infant to the mother for feeding. Be a helper and quit feeling sorry for yourself. Read a little about the role of a new father, this will help you sort out your role and feelings. Good Luck!!
2007-01-22 12:38:05 · answer #3 · answered by bluemustang 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It might seem that way. Understand that:
A new baby might overwhelm a new mom. The connection between them is unlike anything she has ever experienced.
If you are not REALLY into it too, it might seem that you're cut out. But, the kid NEEDS both of you more than ever. It can't do anything for itself yet. SO. . .
Embrace the experience. The kid ain't goin' anywhere.
I recommend that you:
1. Do the overnight diaper changing and all night-time baths - at least.
2. Change as many diapers and give as many bottles as you can.
3. Read to the baby every day.
You'll bond with the baby, get huge points with your wife, and she gets more rest and can spend more waking hours with you.
Getting into the father role more will bring you together as a couple. You'll end up doing more together.
And talk to her as much as you can about all of this.
Trust me.
2007-01-22 13:36:46 · answer #4 · answered by Carl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately a new baby can cause a strain in the relationship. Why don't you just talk to your wife about how you feel.Your wife doesn't mean to neglect you,taking care of a baby is a tough job and the baby's needs do come first. Just communicate and try to find a solution. Like maybe once a week,some one can watch the baby and you guys can go out.But you shouldn't be jealous of the baby,you guys just have to work harder to get quality time with just each other.
2007-01-22 12:27:52 · answer #5 · answered by lily_shaine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound selfish. Help her out more at home. Give her some free time. Feed the baby, bathe the baby, just let her have some time for herself. You know, those little bundles don't come with a manual. We learn as we go. Babies demand your full attention 24/7, but the housework doesn't go away, laundry still needs to get done. The poor woman is trying to do everything. Get off your "pity pot". Be a husband and a father.
2007-01-22 12:37:13 · answer #6 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it has anything to do with having a guy by the balls. it has more to do with the fact that when a woman has a baby, she has another life to look after. One that depends on her for everything, 24/7.
You may find that your wife/girlfriend/partner would be more responsive to you if you help out with the baby. Take the baby for a walk every night, give it a bath, change the diapers whenever you are home etc... Give her a few minutes to herself. You and the baby will bond, and she will feel more rested and probably more energized to spend extra time with you.
2007-01-22 12:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by westmountainmama 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you don't want things to change - don't bring a life that is completely dependent on your wife (and you if you choose to participate in it's upbringing) into the world. Live a frivolous, selfish life. You are obviously only concerned with yourself and your own pleasure - you don't deserve a child or a wife.
Perhaps a blow-up doll or something less demanding would be more suitable for you? Or you could just pay for it as you need it on the street. Depending on what you go for it may be less than child support and you don't have to worry about anyone having you by the balls unless you request it!
2007-01-22 15:35:01 · answer #8 · answered by greyrider 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
A new baby is a big responsibility and a lot of work. Maybe if you become more involved with assisting with the baby, you can find time together in that. You can't ignore your baby's needs. Think about it in a sense that your life is different when a baby arrives and you have to make new arrangements to incorporate time alonetogether, and time for yourself, and time for the mom to have to herself.
2007-01-22 12:26:41 · answer #9 · answered by Moni B 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the reason why this happens is because a baby is completely helpless. and needs parents support and love 24 hours a day. if you want to spend more time with your wife...then suggest watching the baby or helping out your wife around the house. she is probably working the equivilant of 2 to 3 full time jobs. help out around the house (believe me...she will thank you for it). take out the trash..offer to bring home dinner, wash the dishes...vacume. just something to help her out. it doesn't have to be complicated. but enough to ease her burden. and here is an idea...why don't you plan a date night for you and your wife (after she puts the baby down for bed time). a movie and take out. she will LOVE you for it. :o)
2007-01-22 13:28:59 · answer #10 · answered by cfalways 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋