Marriage coming to a End(My fault or Hers)?

Question

We been marry for 8 years ,She complain I don't treat her with romance.She having an affair and tell me she in love with the guy.I don't take her out to dinner,We don't do anything
on the weekends.I explain to her why,she have an excuse not to pay the house bills(every 2 months).Then she take the kids and stay over her parents house for couple of weeks.I talk to the parent but it's like talking to the wall.Step-father don't want to be involve.The mother talks about her daughter unhappy.I tell the mother,we can do thing together but your daughter have take care her responsible.We went to marriage counseling.The counselor told us not to come back.my wife kept saying was I take him down for child support.
Now she left me,she mad as hell at me. I ask her why she mad at me .You are the one who left me.She tell me I'm not fighting for are.I tell her if he make you happy go with him.Then she say she afraid i might find someone esle.

Answer 1

According to the info that I received It's her fault. She was the one who had the affair. You really need to work on your spelling and grammer. It seems like there is more that your not telling me. Why wont you do things with her on the weekends? Do you work 2 jobs? If so you need to get a better paying job so you don't have to work 2 jobs.

JW

Answer 2

Because society has a hard time blaming women for anything. **If the marriage ends he was too controlling! ( actually she was too bossy and when he told her to stop he was being controlling) **When a man has an affair. Oh horrible man! ( what if the wife was with withholding sex? Or picked a man who she knew would cheat? ) * When a woman has an affair. it is his fauult she felt unloved!! ( Did she try to talk to her husband, was it that she had COMMITMENT issues? She couldn't stay committed to him. ) THE biggest thing 90% of the time a woman is the one to BLAME if her husband is having an affair. why is this? Because she was attracted to him because he was the man most women wanted. These men are called Alpha's. She married a man who is almost GUARANTEED to cheat ( roughly 8 % percent don't) SHE MARRIED him BECAUSE he was a cheater ( an alpha male) otherwise she would have picked a nice guy who most women overlook.Those men seldom cheat. There is a double standard in today's society. women are perfect men are bad. Although many times it is the other way around.

Answer 3

This happened to me. I told my husband for months that i was missing something in the relationship and he refused to budge. I ended up falling in love with another man and leaving. Just because she left doesn't mean she doesn't love you. She was seeking the affection of another man to fill the void that you were not filling. It's not right at all but that's why that happened. And she does want you to fight for her. She doesn't want this other man, she wants you. But she's realizing that you didn't give her what she needed while in the marriage and you're probably not going to give it to her now either. It's a hard realization to come to. And what's worse, is yes, she's afraid you'll find someone else. Why? Because you'll treat the new woman the way your wife wanted to be treated and it'll break her heart to see that it wasn't that you couldn't, it's that you wouldn't for her.

I hope i shed a little light on the subject. No divorce is caused by just one party. It's partly your fault for not trying to give a little if she was missing so much. It's her fault for not trying harder to work at things and for not leaving before seeking out someone else. In all honesty, this is what happened to my marriage and even after a year it still hurts.

Answer 4

What does she honestly expect you to do? After all she is the one who found someone else first and now she wants you to wait til she gets tired of this guy and comes back to you? What the hell is she thinking here? Its time for you to cut your losses here, divorce her and move on, hopefully finding someone you can be happy with. Theres not a guy alive on earth that would wait for her to finish her affair. What happens if it never ends? Time to move on. Chances are she ll get the kids in custody and youll have to pay support but its still better than going on like this. Good luck

Answer 5

I would ask why a marriage counselor told you not to come back? If you want to make it work find another one that will give you some tools to help fix things up. Quit playing the blame game, both of you have to understand that you're equally responsible for the marriage. If you and she wants it to work you'll make it work. It was good that you sought out a counselor but unfortunate that they they were of no help. Keep looking until you find one you can really open up to. Your marriage is worth it.

Answer 6

Isn't her responsibilities taking care of you and the kids. Why does she have to pay for half of the bills. You two roommates? Be a man and take care of your wife. You are only half a man. She needs more obviously. Romance her, buy her flowers take her out to dinner etc. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. she has been leaving you clues all over the place. Your answer: Your fault.

Answer 7

its never nice to have your emotions played with, what does she want from u anyway? seems she is very immature indeed, her parents won't help. she left u and wants u to fight for her, i don't think so. think u need to get away from her, she isn't mature enough to have a marriage. if she cheated on u she has already breached the marriage, and it can really never be the same again. let her have the other man, u don''t need a woman like this. she isn't interested in therapy or anything that might improve the marriage, she just wants to play games with your emotions.

Answer 8

i can't really say who's fault it is. but in your case i would have to say hers because if she can't take responsibility & help pay the bills in the house then it would be her fault i think & then maybe if she worked on that maybe you both can work on a compromise & go from there. i'm sorry i'm trying to help the best way i could & the best way i would do it if that was me.

Answer 9

Usually both sides are guilty, but in this case I think it's her! Try to move on and find a person who will make you happy, forget about her!
Good Luck! You need it!

Answer 10

She is having a midlife crisis and using you as the excuse. Try to act uninterested and start dating someone else ( no sex). She will come around.