Ok, So I have been with my man for 4 years and he has not gotten any better. It is a constant battle. He worships his daughter from his previous relationship and puts my son and I on the back burner. He hugs his daughter and holds her hand and kisses her, but will not with my son. When I talk to him about it it ends up in a fight. I am now pregnant by him and our baby is due in 2 months and he still is not giving me what I need. He wont rub my back or anything. Lost???
2007-01-22 11:19:16 · 7 answers · asked by cutemom 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It will all change when you have the baby. He needs to respect your feelings for you and your child. You need to let him know how much it hurts you. My husband has grown very close to my two sons and when we had one together, our baby is the light of his world even though he had two sons before him too. I see him being tougher with my boys than my two stepsons because he says they live with us and understand the rules and it gets very frustrating for me but I have to let him play the father role. You need to set up opportunities for him to bond with your son.. He must be a good age where they can do "guy things" together (sports, cars, stereos). I think that helps if they have something in common. Maybe you dont give him enough say in how you raise your son? You need to get him involved more and I think the new baby will help to bond your family together. It worked for us. Good luck with everything and the new baby!
2007-01-22 11:29:43 · answer #1 · answered by Tink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not acting like he is worshipping his daughter, she is his daughter and she comes first because he has a responsibility to be there for her. You and your son come second in his life.
You should have not gotten into this relationship with him if he had other kids to raise. Now that you have a son, you expect him to be loving to him, which I understand, but his step-son is not his first priority. But, your husband should show some respect to you and him because you are now in his life. Don't think your husband is going to forget his daughter, he is not.
Not sure how old your son is, but your husband shows that he is not doing well with showing compassion to your son. You may need to sit down and talk to your husband, but do this without the yelling and be polite and nice about it. If he raises his voice and gets upset, don't stoop to his level. Maybe he is getting tired of all the nagging too.
So sad that you brought another child into this, when you already have a husband that is not affectionate with your son! Big mistake on your part. You should have waited until your husband establishes a good relationship with your son.
Or it could be that now you are pregnant, that he has to put his focus on his daughter. Don't ruin what he has with his daughter, he is just not used to probably having a step-son in the picture. You may need to give him some time. Your son may need time too, he is going through some hurt too especially being without his biological dad in the picture. How do you think he feels right now with having a stranger as a dad?
2007-01-22 19:38:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that the two of you need to have a very serious talk (maybe with counselors if it's not effective without). I would remind him that his daughter could end up in the same situation that your son is in and I am sure he wouldn't like that. However, there would have to be a change made because no child should grow up without the love of both parents and I would insist on having it that way. Above all, God has the power to change situations and without Him things fail. Bring God into your relationship immediately!
2007-01-22 20:08:03 · answer #3 · answered by Moni B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there. I have a daughter from a previous marriage and he has a son who he is turning into a pansy (and the child is on the autism spectrum too) and we had a child together 5 years ago. Well, the good news is he worships the son we had together. And it doesn't help that his son is nasty to our kid. He has warmed up over time to my daughter, especially since she is good at sports (which he loves) and his son hates. He actually coaches her teams. He never did dick for me during my pregnancy though. And is still not loving to me and never has bought me one present for one holiday so I buy my own. Whatever. Good luck.
2007-01-22 19:28:22 · answer #4 · answered by AM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so why did you marry him? did he change? sorry to hear that. talk to him nicely and don't fight. tell him how miserable you are being a mother of his child and ask him to think your son has the same capable feeling as his daughter and needs his love. be frank, open and calm. if he's a good person, he'll understand. and ask for small changes to begin with.
2007-01-22 19:27:30 · answer #5 · answered by xyz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you've stayed with this man this long and haven't been able to get any better results, then you were wrong for having his child. He's the only one that can change, and don't seem like he wants too. Now you have two kids to defend with an unaffectionate man.
2007-01-22 19:47:38 · answer #6 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
U can't make a boy into man..... Please remember this...."People don't change until it HURTS NOT to CHANGE."
2007-01-22 19:26:02 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋