my boyfriend 25 years old is often in and out of hospital as he has poor health (from childhood cancer), we been out for 13 months but i am starting to get really tired of taking him and visiting him in the hopistal, am i been selfish? i just want a normal life!
2007-01-22 11:06:54 · 13 answers · asked by saegiie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow this is tuff..i know you want your life and you do dissever to live it.. just tell him that your feelings for him have changed ... it is more brotherly .. sisterly.. and that you will always love him as he holds a special place in your heart..that you always want to be Friends.. but also that because of the special bond you feel with him you would like no contact for a few months just so you both can get used to it. good luck
2007-01-22 11:13:15 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you knew that he was sick when you met him so yes I think you are being very selfish.You have clearly stated here to a bunch of strangers how you feel so I hope you have the decentsy to tell him in a nice way.I am sure he is probably expecting it.The right thing for you to do is break it off with him because he so totally deserves someone better than you.I have crohn's disease and my husband knew I had it when he met me and yet he still loved me and married me for better or for worse in sickness and in health.He has to take me to the emergency room a minimum of once a month and he is alway's by my side.Just remember that your life can change in an instant you could get into a horrible accident tomorrow and be paralized for the rest of your life.You never know what is going to happen.I believe in karma and what goes around comes around.Please do this man a favor and leave him you don't deserve such a good man.Thank god your not married I don't think that your are the marrying type anyway because you could'nt be true to your vows as soon as something got tough you would run.I pray your so called boyfriend find's a caring,loving,honest,unselfish women that will love him for him and not look at his misfortune in life but love him for the man he is.You really disgust me..When something happens to you I hope you are left all alone..That actually should'nt be a problem for you anyway because all you think and care about anyway is yourself..SO YES YOU ARE SELFISH AND YOU WON'T RECEIVE ANY SYMPATHY HERE..PEOPLE LIKE YOU CAN NEVER LEAD A NORMAL LIFE BECAUSE NORMAL PEOPLE HAVE COMPASSION..THAT'S PROBABLY A NEW WORD FOR YOU,YOU MIGHT WANT TO LOOK IT UP.
2007-01-22 20:20:27 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not being selfish.
I am an R.N. and I see this a lot, people who have health problems and usually girlfriend (sometimes boyfriend) staying with the other person out of guilt and not wanting to appear selfish.
If you don't want to be with him, please do yourself and him a favor by breaking it off. This isn't doing anyone any good. He has friends and family there for him too, right?
That way you can both look for someone you both really want to be with.
Explain your feelings to him in a sensitive way and make a clean break. Don't prolong the inevitable.
2007-01-22 19:18:30 · answer #3 · answered by veganmarshmallows 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not married, so you're not obligated to this relationship. It's not selfish- you know your limits and what you want out of life. 13 months is long enough to decide if he's the one for you- he's not. Nothing to feel horrible about. You're entitled to live your life as you wish, and if this isn't a situation you can continue, so be it.
Tell him you want different things out of life and you're not compatible.
2007-01-22 19:13:14 · answer #4 · answered by Sabine É 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Selfishness can be a survival instinct; will ya sleep well if ya leave him? You did'nt take a vow so no wrong there..and if ya dont have feelings for him anymore then maybe he is better off without you.
2007-01-22 19:16:45 · answer #5 · answered by sea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry but this will probably hurt. YES, u are being VERY,VERY selfish. u knew going into this relationship what could happen. and u want a normal life? what makes u think he doesnt?
2007-01-22 19:52:47 · answer #6 · answered by mommie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont pretend you want to be with him if you dont. If you pretend then youre not giving him the chance to find someone who really cares for him. You can either be honest or keep on being miserable and rob him of a chance to be with someone else. Think about it then talk to him.
2007-01-22 19:11:45 · answer #7 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is normal for him sadly. If you want to know how to leave him then speak to my ex wife. I was hospitalised for depression due to her behaviour and whilst there she took my children, home, belongings and everything from me. So it can be done. However sounds like you are the caring type really so it would be harder for you.
2007-01-22 19:11:14 · answer #8 · answered by Closed Down 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do u really love him? or let's put this way, what if something happened to you, would you hope your bf do the same thing? there is no guarantee of your health or your future bf/hubby health though. but on the flip side of the coin, i can understand how you feel. think about it .....
2007-01-22 19:10:55 · answer #9 · answered by xyz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are selfish. You knew he was a sick guy when you dated him.
Now be selfish and dump him and get a "normal" healthy guy.
Feel better now?
2007-01-22 19:12:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋