Do I have to share my birthing experience with the father???

Question

I am pregnant and in the middle of a divorce, my soon to be ex husband has not been in the picture at all during the pregnancy except he made it to one sonogram. The last time we spoke he was extremely negative and angry for no reason. He calls out of the blue wanting to know when the baby is due ( two weeks) and wants to be present at the birth. I do not want him in the delivery room. Is it ok to wait til after she is born to call or should I call once I am in labor???

Answer 1

It is entirely up to you. He has no legal right to be present. Moreover, if he is negative and angry ~ it would be better for him NOT to be there. You need positive support during birth.

When I gave birth to my second child, there was a couple on the same hall who were fighting the while time ~ and I mean really going at it. It was horrible for everyone on the floor. He was finally asked to leave by hospital security.

Have the peaceful, focused birth experience you want. There is no room for all that negativity when you need to focus all your efforts, energy and attention to the delivery.

Answer 2

You know, this is really up to you... If your relationship is as strained as it sounds, it probably would be a better idea to call after the baby is born. During delivery, you really want only the people who are going to be the most help to you. You will be irritable already from the contractions, and having someone whose remarks may make you steam will not help the situation. If you feel it is too unfair to make him wait until after the baby arrives to call, you could call when you head to the hospital, but make sure that whoever you have go with you (your mom?) knows that visits with the ex will be short and brief. Give that person the power of discrestion to tell him when he's being too irritating to be in the room with you anymore and have them be the one to tell him to leave. You can also discuss it with the attending nurse... they are GREAT about these types of situations, and when it comes time to have the baby, she can escort everyone out that you dont' want in the room during the birth on her authority. It is ok if you don't want him in the delivery room... it is up to you who you want there. He has no rights to be there as the father or anything, so don't worry about getting into trouble. The only person who has any say-so in the delivery room is YOU. If you don't want him there, don't let him pressure you into it. State your desires up front with the nurse who gets you settled in, and she will take care of it. The last thing they want is an irritated woman in labor, so allow the nurse the "power of veto" with your ex. This will take the heat off of you, as well as allow you to relax during your labor. You don't need the stress. I suggest calling after the birth to have the most stress-free labor, but all decisions are ultimately up to you!

Answer 3

It will up to you, I was 4 months pregant when I got separated ( he cheated on me) but he went to all the sonograms appointments that I had and he was at the delivery room and continue visiting our daughter after she was born and still does
( she is 6 yrs).when whe was 9 months we got the divorce but still share special moments with our daugther. I think it is not the kids fault not to have their parents together but if as an adults you can be together in special moments it will be special moments for your kids !!! But again it is up to you if you want to share this moment with the father or not !!! GOOD LUCK and BEST WISHES!!!

Answer 4

When I was pregnant with my second child I was still married to the father. I was able to tell the hospital staff when I came into the hospital that he was not allowed in the labor/delivery room. I don't know if he showed up or not, but if he did then they listened to me and didn't let him in.

Answer 5

I, personally had my hubby in there with me, we're not divorced. If he plans on helping you with the baby and being there then yeah, let him be there.... I would say whatever is more comfortable with you. I was only comfortable with my husband and the doctors in the room. I didn't even want my brother, sister. The birthing process and experience is a calm {painful} experience which should only be shared by the ones that you want, its your baby, your pain, YOUR CHOICE!

Answer 6

You absolutely do not have to allow him in the room. Even if he shows up. Just tell the nurse your situation and what he looks like so that they are aware and can call security if he should show up. It is your right to choose who is present and who is not when you are in labor. All hospitals have similar policies on this.

Answer 7

You do not have to allow him to be present. In fact if your relationship with him is that bad it is probably better if he is not. You can call him but I can't see where you would be obligated to until afterwards. Just make it clear to hospital staff that baby is NOT to leave teh nursery with anyone BUT YOU! And do make sure to find yourself someone else, your best friend maybe?, to share your labor with. Congrats on the new baby.

Answer 8

That is up to you..If you don`t want him in there then tell him so and there is nothing he can do about it.....My sister was in the same situation and she did not call the father until the day after her son was born...Only you can decide what is best for you..Good luck and congrats on your impending birth!!

Answer 9

You only have to allow medical professionals into the room during the birth. Anyone else you can legally force to remain outside.

Answer 10

i would wait till afterwards, but if you feel like calling him during labor just remember that he doesn't have to be there to stress you out. and if he does which he more then likely will do the hospital can tell him to leave. it is YOUR choice who is in the delivery room NOT his.