For some reason, I get no attention from black men. I'm an attractive young, single, professional African American woman and black men will not approach me (at least not the one similarly situated in life as me). I get approached by White, Asian and PR guys all the time. Every relationship with a black man I've had was the result of me being the pursuer. What's a girl to do?
2007-01-22 10:20:03 · 27 answers · asked by Sweet and Lo 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
Sometimes I get really depressed about it. I did everything I was supposed to do. I stayed in school and completed my education. I have a good job. I didn't have any children. I've taken care of myself. I'm in shape and have all my teeth. I just don't know what else to do.
2007-01-22 10:49:09 · update #1
nothing. you dont have to be with a black man. as long as you have a good man color shouldnt matter.
2007-01-22 10:48:35 · answer #1 · answered by Cloud Nine--Sez YAHH 2 tha hatas 4 · 4⤊ 4⤋
Hi Sweetie, It seems these people kind of missed the point here. Sweet and Low isn't racist, she just prefers to date black men who are at her same level professionally, am I right? OK.
I noticed that you said "every relationship with a black man I've HAD ..." this to me means that you HAVE had relationships with men that you wanted to be with but they didn't last.
THAT is where I would start if I were you. Examine WHY those relationships didn't last. Go back if you can, and actually ASK those guys what happened, why things didn't work out.
I mean the truth is, we can't change others, we can only change ourselves, so if you're not finding AA guys that want you or that will stay with you for very long, then maybe you need to examine whether or not YOU are of a personality that fits in with what most AA men of your professional level want in a woman.
That is not to say that there aren't the exception out there, but you must have patience to find that one.
Without being stereotypical, just take a look at the other answers given here and you'll see what I mean. No matter how much we'd like to believe our society is mature and grown, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. And the proof here is that AA men are not ready for a woman of your calibre OR something that is going on in the relationships that you are having with them is blowing them out of the water and needs to be examined.
I know that you may not want to think of yourself as a person who might resort to a service, but the truth is that some of the best matches have been made through internet match services.
The profile you will fill out will help you really get in touch with who you really are and how honest you are about yourself with others. Also it will challenge you to decide what you really want in a man and what really matters to you.
You can keep your profile completely hidden and search without ever letting anyone know until you think you have found someone who is totally the right person.
Don't compromise now. Wait for what you really want. If you lower your standards now, it will only get harder later. Here's the first website for starters.
Best of luck, and lots of love.
2007-01-24 12:58:14 · answer #2 · answered by themerchantprincess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's wrong with being the persuer? Are you one of those old fashioned women who thinks the man is supposed to make the first move? Well, it's 2007 and it doesn't work that way anymore!
Also, there might be another problem - in your words "black men will not approach me (at least not the one similarly situated in life as me)."
What do you mean by "similarly situated in life as me"?
Are you talking about MONEY?
So, are you waiting for a Black lawyer, doctor or corporate executive to come to you?,
And if a Black substitute teacher (like me) or a Black restaurant cook (like my brother) or a Black plasterer (like one of my closest friends) approached you, you'd turn us down flat?
I hope I'm misjudging you here - but you sound like the typical Black professional woman who complains about an alleged "man shortage".
I hear that all the time from Black professional women - and it's almost always the same thing - they want a RICH Black man, and they won't have anything to do with a Black carpenter, or transit worker, or truck driver.
Maybe you need to go out there and give the blue collar brothers some play, sista!
2007-01-23 23:48:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm actually embarrassed that you posted this on here. If you want REAL black men to actually answer your question truthfully, you should post this on Black Planet. By posting that question here, all you're attracting is a bunch of ignorant answers.
I personally think grown men who prefer "around the way girls" are losers, and want to make sure their woman stays under their foot. You dont want those losers anyways. My only advice is... keep doing what you're doing, and if all else fails, give some of those PR guys a chance! Try black singles sites on the internet too! Good Luck :)
2007-01-24 16:08:12 · answer #4 · answered by SassyC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm professional and well educated. My guys are scared because of this. If they manage to work themselves into a high position, they don't want a professional woman, because they are afraid they cannot impress you.
But there is a lot of fish in the sea, and the neighbours' trees have apples too. So sister: move on, don't worry about what these guys are thinking. It's not worth it, really. Have a taste of the other fruits ;-)
2007-01-22 18:55:24 · answer #5 · answered by Chesare 2 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Go to church or something positive . Go to sleep. True this. If you forget about the situation and do right for you. He will come when the time is right. Just maybe he wont be black but you can pray ...
2007-01-23 23:30:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Forget the brothers... cross over to the white side!
2007-01-24 15:56:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hazard a guess that there are far more AA women situated like you than there are men (due to their being in jail, being killed in street violence, dropping out of school, etc.), so the pickings are slim.
Either lower your standards or get yourself a dominatrix outfit and enjoy yourself. Some men like being pursued.
2007-01-22 18:33:06 · answer #8 · answered by Dash Rip Rock 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
i've heard a lot of black men say they don't like the women of their own race b/c of attitude, stupidity, etc. It's the stereotype thats scaring them off i think. unfortunately, women like yourself have to suffer from that
2007-01-22 18:29:08 · answer #9 · answered by Mon Ray 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Girl, maybe they are scared of you being successful and pretty at the same time. Tough luck for those guys ;-)
Enjoy life, enjoy the attention of guys who DO show interest in you. Make sure to pick the ones that like you for whom you are.
@ Harry ........ you tend to believe what you wish to believe ....... and it's way off reality.........
2007-01-22 18:45:36 · answer #10 · answered by Endie vB 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Be yourself, and stop self analyzing yourself! Maybe brothers find you intimidating or think that you might be conceited. It's hard for some men to approach beautiful women. Just be yourself and they'll come around or they'll have to deal with the loss!
2007-01-22 18:27:50 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋