What should I do ,my husband doesnt want to work?

Question

my husband and I have been married for a year and half, we both live with my parents since we are unable to move out on our own and my parents doesnt mind since im in nursing school, my husband left his job to persue his career as truck driver all training paid for by the company but he didnt go after learning that the compant was scam and he decided to look another job and go to technical school, im working full time and going to school full time to pay the bills and save my husband does nothing just play video game and chill with his low life friends he tells me everyday that he is looking and he is studying to get into the trucking school but it seems to me that every night i get home he is either watching a movie or playing video games whenever i ask him about looking a job or school he get defensive and upset even when im being nice, my husband is a great guy and have had a crazy childhood he had no encouragement but i have been pushing him for years im 21 and he's 27 help!!!!!!

he has been spending his money on games and movies and hanging with low life friends and he think he is just comfortable because we live with our parent in a huge house there is food and not much bills

Answer 1

OOOOps, you made a mistake... call it quits, and dump the guy, and in the meantime, , for christ sake,DON'T get pg.
A 27 year old guy with no work ethic? You'll be like one of my colleagues (we were teachers together) --- she worked full time, had all the kids, kept the rented apartment, they never owned a house, always in debt, drove a 15 year old car, the guy never worked. they never traveled, yadayadyayday.. She had one miserable life, and hey, the sex couldn't have been that good. At 40, she looked like hell, at 50 she was dead.... worn out.... Funny thing --- nurses and teachers are always suckers. You're just beginning down that path, hon....my only question is what kind of a marriage do you have, anyway??? Marriage is admiration, respect, passion and trust..... the first two are in the toilet already... the passion will be , and you can't trust what he says even now, since he is already lying about his employment status.... Hon, your entire marriage is in the toilet.... it was all a mistake, admit it, and get on with your life.... or wait a while, you'll wake up after you get your RN and see that there are great guys who will wish to be a husband to you..guys who work, guys who have jobs, good jobs, and good educations who have time, and like to do fun stuff besides video game... (oh good).... in the meantime, don't have any kids with this guy.... trapped for sure... other guys regard some other man's kid big time baggage.... then you're in another trap.... single mom... and no guy you'd want will want you.... Need more? write.

Answer 2

It's time to put your foot down. I know that's your husband but he needs to stand up and be a man. He is supposed to be the provider of the household. If you can work full-time and go to school full-time then surely he can find a job. Although your parents don't mind that you all are staying with them, you all are married and need to get your own place. I am not trying to be rude, but what kind of man would even want to depend on his wife's parents and vice versa. It takes two people to make a marriage work. You are doing your part and he needs to do his. Whatever is in his past is in his past. That has nothing to do with him working and taking care of his family.

I would definitely issue an ultimatum: If you have time to hang out with your friends, low life or not, and you have time to spend playing video games then you have time to find a job. My parents are helping us out in a major way by giving us a roof over our heads and food to eat. If you don't have a job within "x" amount of days (I would say 60 to 90 days) you are going to have to move out. If truck driving is your dream then you need to make it happen, otherwise you are going to have to find you another profession.

In my opinion, he has a good thing going right now and he is taking advantage of it. Put a stop to it. You can do bad all by yourself.

Answer 3

If you are going to spend your life with someone. They should add to who you are. You should have similar goals, home, kids, etc. They should enrich your life and bring light and laughter to it. It doesn't sound like he is doing any of that. You are busting your *** and he is sitting on his. You need to evaluate what you want for your future. Do you want to be a nurse married to another professional like a lawyer, state trooper, accountant etc. or work like a dog, never really getting head, living from pay check to pay check while he sits and plays video games with his "loser" friends. What kind of man lives off of his girlfriends parents? Tell him he has 2 months to either find a full time job or go back to school full time. At the end of that 2 months he hasn't made any progress, tell him to hit the bricks.

Answer 4

You need to get a grip and stop taking up for you husbands actions. He's older than you and knows what he wants in life which isn't much & won't get any better until HE wants to make a move. So, your asking about the job thing will only cause him to be negative. Ask him what he really wants to do that could make him happy, and try to help him get there before it's too late.

Answer 5

you may't make someone love you. they ought to set up to attempt this on their own. What you would possibly want to do is ask him what's occurring. you've correct to understand because he made a dedication to you and if he now no longer has a want to fulfill it you should listen it from him. do exactly not ignore that what ever his answer is you want to be prepared for it because you requested. notwithstanding, do not mope round operating your self ragged attempting to delight him or get his interest. which will make you envious of him. You to wish to easily have authentic, straightforward verbal change. you won't be able to take any authentic action till he can provide a real answer. extra information: Now that you recognize he's devious on you, you want to respond to his moves for this reason. You stated the first time you chanced on out he advised he might want to end. then you surely out chanced on a second time. this implies he did not end and he has now no longer feels linked to you sufficient to appreciate your union. base line, he has already left. you may't make someone stay the position they do no longer want to be. and do not assume that the challenge is you. each and every challenge begins in the guy themselves. the incontrovertible actuality that he hasn't come to you to unravel it or respected you sufficient to attempt clarify why that is taking position ability he's too prideful and he's comfortable with letting you imagine that's some thing that you aren't any further doing. you probably did correct by technique of your husband by technique of attempting to artwork it out, yet please word that now you've the right and the freedom to go away.

Answer 6

It is time for the ultimatum. I would not but with it but it is up to you. It sounds like he needs a good kick in the @$$, either do it now and hopefully save the relationship or you will be stuck working two jobs taking care of three kids and he will be that thing on the couch that you have to dust around.

Answer 7

Sounds like he's not really sure what he wants out of life. He might be disappointed that the trucking school thing didn't work out, and is afraid to try again. You might have some issues yourself, calling his friends "low lifes." Get out from under your parents' apron and maybe you both will be more motivated.

Answer 8

He does not sound like a great guy. I am off work right now due to surgery and still do MORE than t.v. and video games. I say have a heart to heart talk with him. Make sure he knows you LOVE him and also that you can NOT make the marriage work alone!!

Answer 9

If you were a man in this situation you'd be a pig for not providing for your wife. But since you're a woman, I'm required by political correct law to say your husband is a pig, and you are always right.

Answer 10

He is just comfortable with the status quo and sees no reason to get a job but have your parents be the ones to tell hiim to get a job or get out - that way you aren't the bad guy in that - and if he doesn't, it is time for separation or divorce. you shouldn't have to push anyone but yourself.