my wife is expecting our 3rd baby in 4wks time but as the birth gets closer she is becoming more and more depressed. Already she is doubting her capabilities of being a mum to our son as she worries that she may not be able to love him like she wants to? I have run out of re-assuring words to say to her and all other people say is that she will be ok once he is born but I am not so sure. We have consulted the doctor but all she did was increase my wifes dose of anti-depressents. Any advice would be appreciated ( she is 21yrs old). thanks in advance
2007-01-22 09:52:28 · 14 answers · asked by thedaddy 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
My wife has had severe clinical depression and anxiety for 5 years and has been on varied medications since then, she has only recently been put on paroxetine.
2007-01-22 10:11:22 · update #1
How caring you are! And congratulations!
Well she's probably got her hands quite full at the moment with two other children and feeling rather tired I would have thought. Also she's anticipating feeling like this then with another demanding baby on the way.
The very best thing you can do for her is tell her that you'll do all the housework or take the children out and give her free time. Let her relax and focus on upcoming events. Tell her to go out for a coffee with a friend and you'll mind the kids when you are at home. She needs free time. When the baby is born the best help you can give is housework or taking over with the baby.
Why not take her out somewhere special before the birth to relax and unwind.
It's a tall order, I know....but that's the kinda stuff my husband did for me...when I came home from hospital the house was immaculate and he made me a cup of tea...I'll never forget it. When I'd had a hard day of it, he'd come home from work and hold the baby while I made a cup of tea then we'd sit and talk.
Hope that helps a bit.
2007-01-22 10:01:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First Congratulations, I had a problem with my older sister feeling the same way, The doctor kept giving her anti-depressants and it kept getting worst, Honestly do you think she needs the anti depressants, if you think she does not try and go see another doctor, get another opinion. If she keeps thinking that she will not be a good mom keep re-assuring her that she will be a great mother, also let her know that she's done a great job with your other two kids. I really do feel for you and her this is all the advise I have to give, Good luck and I hope she gets better.
2007-01-22 10:01:49 · answer #2 · answered by babyvictorialee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really do not suggest your wife taking any tablets for depression. Despite what ever it is that her doctor has said I do not think that they are good for her or the baby. STOP!!! Yes if your wife is depressed now she just may have what they call "the baby blues" (postpartum depression). Your wife is 21 and on baby number 3 that is a lot to deal with. Pills will not solve this one. Your wife needs to know that you love her and will be with her forever and ever amen. She needs to know that as a woman she has unconditional love and that she will love this child as much as she loves the others. Your wife needs to be treated like a queen and a wonderful person not a helpless pregnant woman.
Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-22 15:54:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just a roll that most soon to be moms go through. All I can say is go easy on her and when she dose have the baby if you can try to let her get some rest when she comes home and just tell her that you love her and that she's a great mom and maybe give her a huge and kiss on the cheek. That can really make her day and make her feel good about herself even if she starts to cry.
2007-01-22 13:44:48 · answer #4 · answered by JG78 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw congrats...ive never had PND or been depressed so i have no idea how she is feeling
seems your doing the best you can which is all you can do,
how about making her a nice meal tell her how much you love her, and love the fact she is a great mother to your children
buy her a little gift just for her to try and cheer her up
maybe shes thinking you dont love her anymore and shes now just a mother
good luck and i hope she is better soon
2007-01-22 12:33:08 · answer #5 · answered by ♥♥™Tia™♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jsut keep reassuring her the way have. You may think it falls on deaf ears but it's not. At this point your wife is probablely just very tired of being pregnant. Your reassurances are doing more good than you think. I would watch closely for signs of post partem depression after the baby is born though.
**Addition**: I'm wondering if perhaps she might like someone to talk to? I'm 25 and on our fourth child. It might help her to talk with someone in similar circumstances :) You can email or message me by clicking on my pic on the left.
2007-01-22 09:59:45 · answer #6 · answered by autumnofserenity@sbcglobal.net 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My lord! She is 21 and is working on her third child? I'd be depressed too!
But you are probably doing all the right things. Love her, be supportive. Give her examples of how she's been a good mother to the other two. Once that baby is in her arms, I feel like her fears will subside
2007-01-22 10:03:51 · answer #7 · answered by kelly24592 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your other children will be a help around the house as they get older. 3 children can keep each other company so it is actually less work than more after the innitial year of caring for the baby about to be born. That is about all I can think of.
2007-01-22 10:01:25 · answer #8 · answered by black shadow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont take it lightly!!!
my first pregnancy i was overly depressed and when he was born i had post-partum depression on top of it. she may not realize the "funk" she is in.
try talking to her lightly and saying your concerned for her and that you love her that is why you want her to be happy.
and that you know the added stress can cause early labor and stress on the baby.
maybe you can request for her to go to the local pregnancy center they have free counseling and advice from experienced people.
also it is the 3rd? well how about have the other kids buy or make i love you mommy gifts and having them mention how good of mom she really is!!
it is very honorable of you to be so active in her and the baby's healthy growth.
best of wishes.
2007-01-22 10:03:28 · answer #9 · answered by vkewl182 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spoil her, take her out for a nice meal see a film. Have some time for yourselves .Let her know how much you love her, I'm sure once she See's her new baby for the first time all of her doubtful thoughts will disappear. Hope everything works out
2007-01-22 11:56:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋