How do i tell if my husband is cheating on me?

Question

I am starting to think that he is cheating on me. This woman he works with is a lil too close to him. They have lunch together every day. He is constantly talking and joking with her about sex and she gets drunk at home and everytime she does he is the first person she calls. he ensures me that he sees her like a sister but i mean i dont know....HELP

Answer 1

Oh no, that relationship is definitely heading somewhere if it hasnt already.

He can't be that stupid to think this woman is only interested in him as a friend and even if he hasn't cheated it's only a matter of time from the sounds of it.

His behaviour is inappropriate for a married man. It's disrespectful to you.

Phone this woman up and tell her you don't appreciate the intimacy she shares with your husband, that it's inappropriate and that it should stop. Tell her to find an unmarried man to share her ups and downs with and that's that.

This way you have made your point, tell your hubby the same, and then follow the SOB.

Answer 2

Girl, Look, just because it sounds like a bad thing dont mean it is.I know one must be skeptical in life because every time we turn on the T.V we see shows about cheating and half this world today has either been through it or has done it before.
In truth, The more you let it bother you, the worse off you will be. If he is cheating, the truth will come out eventually.Most everyone who does this gets caught.For now, I would spend less time being suspicious and more time showing him why he should have no reason to go else where for the nukkie! The biggest reason any man cheats is because he feels disconnected from his spouse and don't feel loved.Sometimes its because they don't feel their women is attracted to them anymore and only tends to tell them what they are not, instead of what they are.Love him, appreciate him and express your feelings for him openly and even if he was thinking about being bad with her, He wont when he knows he has someone who truly loves him back right at home.
Good luck!

Answer 3

Let me ask this: You don't talk to your siblings about sex, do you? Better yet, you don't flirt with your siblings either.

You need to set some ground rules! Don't wait until he does the deed before you say anything. Doesn't he know that he's hurting you with this kind of behavior? I don't care how many times people say, we're just friends, as long as you have the desire to have sex, you can and will put yourself in a risky position to which anything can happen, if you don't set ground rules.

I actually cheated on my boyfriend. I wasn't sure where things were going to go with us. We were quite distant and I didn't have faith that we would last. We actually broke up when I met someone and I grew to like this guy, even if I insisted that we were just friends. At the same time, my boyfriend and I agreed that we would try to work things out. Unfortunately, I grew too attached to this "friend" and it turned into a disaster. I regret it and I now realize, you can't control your feelings and you sure can't control your partner's feelings.

If this person didn't want to be married and would like the opportunity to explore other relationships, then he shouldn't have gotten married. Otherwise, he needs to understand what boundaries are involved in marriage and what things he needs to do to keep your relationship strong. He needs to learn to hold back from his desires to be "just friends" with other women.

And this is coming from a person who did the deed.

Answer 4

Does he joke with his sister about sex? That's kind of wierd.

In order to be found guilty of a crime, a person needs motive, means, and opertunity. Motive and means are kind of obvious in this case, but does he have an opertunity? If he does, take the opertunity away! Is he staying after for overtime that never shows up on his paycheck? That would be a pretty good sign that something was going on, and tell him to stop. Does he go out places with her? Go with them. Make it so that he's never alone with her. If he doens't complain about it, he probably wasn't cheating. If he does, that doesn't necissarily mean he was cheating, but at least then you'll know for sure he's not when you're arround. (which has become always at that point.)

Answer 5

It's difficult to know for sure short of catching him in the act, but some signs to look for are suddenly changing habits-he doesn't call you as much or is as affectionate or things suddenly change noticeably in the bedroom. His cell phone suddenly receiving "mysterious" phone calls at odd times is also a good indication. And suddenly coming home later than usual with no solid explanation.

If he's extremely careless, you could check the credit card receipts and phone records or even his phone for texts, IM's, etc.

The fact that she is calling him at home is probably a good indication that they are likely not having an affair, however, that kind of behavior, IMO, is disrespectful to you. You should tell him that and also how it makes you feel.

Additionally, I don't buy the whole "she's like a sister to me," not when they are constantly talking and joking about sex. Men don't generally joke about sex with women they are not attracted to or want to have sex with. Sounds to me it's more like an affair waiting for the right moment to happen and not one that's already in progress.

This is all purely subjective, of course.

Answer 6

First of all your husband is way out of line if he is talking to her & joking about sex.That is disrespectful towards you.Now there is a very simple way to handle this situation.You say that he claims that they are just friends and they go to lunch everyday.My suggestion to you is that you go and meet them for lunch because if they are just friend's neither one of them will have a problem with it secondly when you do go meet for lunch you need to politely address both of them and tell them you do not appreciate the way they share sex jokes and further more when she is drinking she need's to find another friend to call other then your husband.When you go to meet them for lunch pay close attention to their body language and eye contact that will tell you a lot.Also Trust is everything in a marriage without Trust you have nothing.I find it a bit strange also that he say's she is like a sister to him because I would not discuss sex with my brother.Good luck to you.

Answer 7

Girl sounds like a little problem to me.. I just wouldnt trust him,, or her.. My husband and I have been married for 6 years and he would never have lunch with someone else.. And when he is home we would not talk to her on the phone.. You need to call the TV show "cheaters" and have him followed and see what happens

Answer 8

I would definitely let your husband know that it bothers you that she calls him all the time. I'm sure that he probably does not have any attraction to her, but obviously she does him. I would let your husband know that you are not comfortable with the way that she feels about him and see how he reacts. That shoud tell you alot about how he really feels about her. I had a guy friend that was that way with me, and when my husband finally told me that it was starting to bother him, I started to notice more and he was right, and I had to put an end to the relationship with my guy friend because it was not fair to him or my husband. If you husband gets angry and defensive, then you may be onto something as far as him cheating...

Answer 9

sorry he is already emotionally involved and he thinks just because you know about her what he is doing is fine when it really isn't fair to you at all. He is having at the very least an emotional affair which involves feelings and emotional intimacy which always leads to more... discuss it with him and find out what is missing for him in your own relationship that he'd rather go to lunch and drunk savior skits rather than go home and eat dinner with you... not to be harsh. Good luck

Answer 10

I don't want to alarm you but you really should watch out for these other cheap, loose work mates as a lot of them don't care if the man is married or not. They are just out for themselves and don't care who they hurt in the process. Be very careful, you don't want to be the next victim of one of these low life women. Keep a close eye on him. My husband cheated with one of these so called women and believe me even when l found out she didn't care. They have no morals, so beware. Tell him to speak to her and tell her to stop phoning him. She needs to get her own man and leave yours alone. If she continues to ring, then you ring her and remind her that he is married and unavailable. Good luck