My boyfriend has always watched porn I noticed when he started downloading it on our computer and I asked him not to because of our kids so then he starts downloading it onto his psp so he can watch it whenever what does this mean I think hes faithfull maybe is this his way of fantasizing about other women so he can stay faithfull or is he just a perv or what please shed some light on this subject for me its starting to bother me that he watches it so much what to do
2007-01-22 09:31:55 · 32 answers · asked by lisaisfunn1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My husband and I have been together for 3 years now and he used to watch a lot of porn. However, he never cheated on me and our love (and sex) ife was great. Actually, I started liking porn and I watch it myself sometimes... He doesn't anymore. I'm amazingly attracted to him and absolutely in love with him. Even so, I like porn. It's just a horny human quality. If it truly bothers you, ask him straight up. Honestly there is NO reason to think there's a problem just because he watches porn. If he watches it so much that you think he may be addicted to it, then the problem may be in the addiction itself, and possibly you could recommend that he see a shrink or go to a sex addict meeting.
2007-01-22 09:44:46 · answer #1 · answered by ya_tusik 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most men like porn and it has nothing - absolutely nothing - to do with you. It is a "spectator sport", nothing more. It does not influence how he feels about you in the least nor does it necessarily mean he's a pervert. I know that a lot of women don't understand this about men, but trust me, it's true. Tell him he can hide the files on the computer by making them private so the kids don't see it.
That said, if he is putting porno movies on his PSP, you might have reason to worry that he is a porno addict. If he just has to watch the stuff "on the go" that might be the sign of a problem. Why is that so necessary? I think he might need to get counseling.
2007-01-22 09:39:41 · answer #2 · answered by Jump Back 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nearly all guys look at porn if it is available. It doesn't have anything to do with you. You could be twice as hot as the porn stars, and unless your boyfriend is blessed with extraordinary willpower, he is still going to be looking at it. Even Christians, regardless of whether they are in the pulpit or the pews. The real problem is your stalled out love life. You need to find out why it is that you are never in the mood. There is a possibility he could think _you_ don't love _him_ because he cannot turn you on anymore. It's not that you have to "give it up" simply to hold on to him - that would do both of you more harm than good. The point is for both of you to find your way back to being in the mood to be with each other.
2016-03-28 21:37:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if you are pregnant because as I read thru your question I see you have missed a lot of periods well there are a thousand opinions here but hon your man is pretty normal unless he is watching sick porn like child pornography men are much hornier than women because that is how nature made them and also men are much more visual then women so they have to see something rather than read it or fantasize about it his sexual needs may be greater than y ours too and with kids in the house do they get in the way of having private time with your man
one way to deal with this is to communicate with him and ty to understand his position and where he is coming from some night when the kids are in bed sit down with him and watch it together or rent a xxx movie to watch together it might strengthen your relationship or liven up your sex life there is nothing wrong with porn in moderation and its a release for him
How does it feel to try to read something without a single period? God invented punctuation for a reason.
2007-01-22 10:09:11 · answer #4 · answered by Islander 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pornography has been shown to be addictive. I believe that is an obsession for some and that viewing pornography may become compulsive. However, I do not believe that it is a disease which leaves a person unable to choose to view pornography and therefore able to shirk the responsibility for any negative consequenses.
There is a strong correlation between the use of, and addiction to pornography and the male gender. Women use and view pornography, yet only in a fraction of the enormous number of male viewers. Every retailer of adult video will agree with this statement.
If I may, I assume that the computer your BF was using to download was in an area accessible to your children. There is a red flag there, a suggestion that his viewing is probably compulsive. He did change his downloading behavior, though, at your request.
Your BF may use/view pornography to masturbate. Even without adult video, many men will fantasize about other women while masturbating. He is most likely, faithful. Often times a man may fantazise certain adult sexual activity that he may find unattractive or unarousing in his mate.
It is not clear to me that you have requested that he stop using/viewing adult video.
Wikipedia.org has a list of symptoms of pornography addiction that you may want to understand. Does he download adult video at work? Does he choose to view over meeting obligations or attending to his responsibilities as a mate and parent? Does he express a desire to reduce or discontinue his use of adult video? Most importantly, are there changes in the intimacy that you and he share?
I am not a therapist or counselor, but I would strongly suggest specific communication with your mate about how you feel.
Good Luck. P.S. I doubt that his behavior is so abberant as to be perverted.
2007-01-22 10:06:21 · answer #5 · answered by voodooprankster 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that this annoying for the children sakes and it does not do much for your self esteem but it is natural for some men and some women to actually enjoy watching born. My fiance and I actually watch it together to add some spice in our sex life. Whether he is being faithful or not has nothing to do with his porn watching habits. It is similar to the masterbation factor, sometimes you just need to be by yourself. Getting mad because he watches it is not going to help your case. Encourage it for appropriate times. Like Friday night after the kids go to bed the two of you should sit down and see. Maybe and I really do not doubt this, the girls on the videos are doing stuff that you do not do that he would like you to do. Watching these movies will help you both learn about each other. You can ask the questions like, "Would you like that?" With out going through the awkward trying it out to find out you have totally turned your spouse off. If you have scheduled time for it it should help him to limit his actual watching.
2007-01-22 09:39:25 · answer #6 · answered by live4logan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have yet to meet a man who doesn't like porn....and yet to meet a woman who hasn't fantasized about a different man than the one they are with at some point or another. It is normally harmless. Yet, if it is an issue for you...you should definitely speak up and let him know it bothers you and also why and/or your worries and fears behind your reason. A good man will respect you for that and if he wants to be with you hopefully change his ways versus being dishonest and hiding his porn fetish behind your back. Perhaps you guys can meet in the middle and find some way to compromise...but above all else he should respect the fact that you don;t like it and you guys should talk openly about it which should ultimately strengthen your relationship if you are right for each other.
2007-01-22 09:37:59 · answer #7 · answered by chick33 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, viewing porn can become a problem for two reasons. a) some guys get addicted to it and it actually affects their life, b) the content of the porn can get more extreme as the person becomes bored with mainstream content.
I'd only worry if he is staying up late to view porn, if he is spending the family's money to obtain porn, if he is viewing the porn in inappropriate situations (kids around, or at work), or if the porn he's viewing is sexually violent or pedophillic in nature.
If he's doing any of the above, he should seek counseling for porn addiction. If he's not doing the above, and is just having fun in his spare time looking at regular, free porn, it is not a big deal.
2007-01-22 09:37:26 · answer #8 · answered by Julian A 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you know what, it's a form of escape that's what it is. The BIG Q. is what is it that it make him feel like he's escaping from. Is it an escape from forming an emotional bond with you, boredom, ? However what I have to say is that looking at that stuff is very emotionally disprectful to you. Also isn't fantasizing about someone else through those downloads while having a real relationship with you in someways emotionally cheating on that level? How do you feel about it? Just try to talk about it, ask him questions.
2007-01-22 09:41:26 · answer #9 · answered by xboxman01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope not at all... Men are Men - you have to have a strong self-esteem be able to ignore this behavior. If you suspect that your man is cheating -- trust me its not the porn that drove him there - that is just an excuse. Men like to watch something they can't have. This man of yours better be giving you some good loving from watching porn. However, if the porn is really bothering you - then you need to tell your man how you feel - and hopefully he gets his act together.
xoxo
2007-01-22 09:37:56 · answer #10 · answered by Silkies101 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋