If i get pregnant, and my mom decides that i have to abort! do i have to do it or not? I'm 16 and i might be pregnant but i dont want to abort! Please answer this question! thanks..
2007-01-22 09:24:39 · 24 answers · asked by Diana 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Well it depends on you really. an old friend of mine, when she was 13, got pregnant by a guy who was 19 and her mom said that she had to get an abortion or her boyfriend would go to jail. And at that age she was scared so she had the abortion. but she cant force you legally to get an abortion. but she can threaten a lot of things, be prepared for that.
2007-01-22 09:31:05 · answer #1 · answered by Angel 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No one can force you to have an abortion, or put your child up for adoption for that matter. If your mom seems really fixed on it, you may want to discuss with her the reasons that you are wanting to keep the child and how you plan on supporting the child. You will want to explain to her how much you need her understanding and love right now, but you will still take the course you decide to take without it. Make sure that your arguments are reasoned and well thought out. Saying I will support my child by working an evening shift at micky d's isn't really going to cut it. Raising a child costs approximately $10,000 dollars a year, and you're going to need someone to watch and take care of that child while you are in school. Make sure you think through everything and present a good plan, and she may just change her mind. At this point (if the pregnancy is very new to her) she is probably trying to come to terms with the fact that her 16 year old daughter is pregnant and blaming herself for a host of things that are probably not her fault(the fact that you are pregnant, or had the opportunity to get pregnant being the first). It is considered a stigma for parents if their child has a child too soon, especially for mothers and daughters. When my cousin got pregnant at 16 and decided to keep the baby her mother supported her, but the rest of the family went ballistic and shunned them. She turned out to be a terrible mother who ended up having three children before 20, dropping out of school, giving custody of the kids to her mom and going on drugs. You need to come up with a plan so this doesn't happen to you. Of course you want a normal child with a good upbringing, so planning is essential. It will be very difficult for at least the first few years as you try to complete schooling for a profession, raise a baby, and become fianancially independant. You will need help, so look into programs that can help you. I know there are many for teen moms, but I am not sure of your area. Overall, if you act reasonably mature about it and don't fly off the handle (difficult but worth it) your mom may come to accept your choice as best for you and even support you. Also, most states have the age of consent at 16. Once you hit that your mom shouldn't be able to use the boyfriend in jail or abortion threat, since you are legally old enough to decide to have sex. Check in your state. Good Luck
2007-01-22 17:46:06 · answer #2 · answered by experiencedmotherof4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you got pregnant and you tell your mother, which you would eventually have to do especially if you live with her, she has no right whatsoever to tell you to have an abortion. If you are under the age of 18 you have the right to call Child Protective Services if she tries to force you into have an abortion. They will do whatever they do in order for you to be ok and not be abused by your mother.
Of course the other action she could take is to force you to tell the father of the child's name. Which she can then legally have him arrested for statutory rape since you are underage. It won't matter if you consented to the sex or not. If you are underage in your state and you have sex then it can be called statutory rape.
Either way around it, if your mother does try to make you have an abortion then you need to remove yourself from the situation. Stress is the worst thing for a pregnant woman. You cannot put that on your baby before it is born.
2007-01-22 17:34:26 · answer #3 · answered by nerosbane 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No! it is YOUR decision! If you are indeed pregnant there are many good families that would love to adopt your baby. Don't let your mother force you into such a dangerous, traumatic procedure. Yes, you are underage, but you can seek support from a crisis pregnancy center that can help you find healthcare and give you information on adoption. Or if you decide to keep your baby there are ways for you to finish school and get an education. You HAVE options that don't include abortion. Also, please consider that if you do get an abortion it could irreversibly damage your fertility. It is dangerous and ESPECIALLY dangerous for someone as young as you. Good Luck and I hope you find the support you need.
2007-01-22 17:29:21 · answer #4 · answered by 4 Shades of Blue 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
By law no matter how old you are 13/16/20 no one can force you to undergo a medical procedure unless you have been declared mentally unable to make medical decisions by a judge. On the other side only when it comes to sexual health are minors allowed to undergo procedures ie. abortion without parental consent. Now that doesn't mean your mom can't try to influence you. If your man is over 18 she is allowed to press charges of statatory rape. Someparents use this to get their daughters to have an abortion (get it or your boyfriend goes to jail) It is your choice.
2007-01-22 17:40:16 · answer #5 · answered by lizincali 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. She can't. Please let me suggest that you go talk to a school counselor or someone else who can mediate between you and your mom. I say this from my own experience. I had a child at 15 years old. My parents totally freaked. My mom didn't speak to me for a whole year. I had no one, and no support. I was terrified. I had no way to take care of a baby. I wish I had had some family counseling. If you choose to have your baby, I'm sure that she will come around, it's her grandchild. It will help you all greatly if you have some kind of counseling. you never know what's gonna happen. My son was born w/ a birth defect and cannot walk. It was a situation that was greater than me. When you have a baby at 16 you need all the help you can get. Please get your education and go to college. I hope everything works out.
2007-01-22 17:34:22 · answer #6 · answered by cinnycinda 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
NO!!!!!!! You do NOT have to abort no matter what!!!!! Do not let her make you do that!! My mom tryed that at first and I was not having that!!! I was 15. She was better after she knew I was keeping it! and as time passed! Just try as hard as you can to stay in school and make her proud! Thats what I did! She will probably be upset at first and say things but just give her time to take it all in! If you are not for sure pregnant then get on birth control!!! Good Luck!
2007-01-22 17:33:03 · answer #7 · answered by Tiffany 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, she can't force you to have an abortion. That's illegal. But, you'll have to call your local Legal Aid office and have them help you file the necessary paperwork
in court to have your baby. They will do this for you for free.
It's called emancipated minor status.
you also have to tell any doctor or clinic that you do not want the abortion, that you are being coerced and threatened into it.
(This is BTW, child abuse in every state for your mom to make you get an abortion you don't want. She can go to jail for it. )
2007-01-22 17:36:19 · answer #8 · answered by txharleygirl1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no she can not force you. Call a local church and get help if she starts threatening. They usually have people that will take you in and help you and your baby. DO NOT ABORT, it is murder. If you do not want your baby- someone else does. There are so many people on a waiting list for a baby to love and our society will kill them and throw them away, yet they will yell for the rights of an animal- it just does not make sense.
2007-01-22 17:32:05 · answer #9 · answered by northville 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
no maam. talk to planned parenthood, take a test, its free there. they will help u from there, even if ur not preggo. Moms talk a lot of crap when u first tell them but they get used to the idea within a few mos. i mean u would over react too if ur kid told u that. u dont have to be in a rush to tell her as long as u do it by 8 wks.
2007-01-22 18:03:43 · answer #10 · answered by jean grey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋