Rasist...Help me out here..What should I do?

Question

Well..here is my story..
Im a girl in school who is friends with everyone..I gues you can say im "popualr" I shop good, I get good grades (well..hehe..) Umm, Im just a typical girl. I am also Middle Eastern. I was born in USA, but my parents are both from the middle east. I love my culture, I am muslim too. I love my religion too. Every once in a while, (every year or so) someone will say something like "What do they do in the Middle east?" "What are they hiding??" "ahhh Ghina has a bomb!" but, you know..there joking. Today, a "friend" of mine kept saying things like that, and he called me a terrorist. He made me feel bad, but I didint show it, I just told him to stop..and that it wasint funny and stuff. At the end of class he took my hand and said "you know I love you, im just kidding around" And I was like.."yeah whatever.." And he asked if I forgave him, I said yeah sure, you know whatever. But...What should I do next time this happens? Has this happend to anyone else? Help me out.

Wow, thank you all...I know exactly what to do now. Next time he says it, Im just gonnna act all like sad and turb my head away from him, but he doesint do it anymore, he did a little this morning, but he stopped right away..thanks again all:)

And for the one who told me to strap a bomb to my self, All I have to say to you is F**K OFF

Just kidding, but really dude, that isint cool.

Answer 1

He probably was joking and really sincere when he apologize. I can understand how it made you feel. Next time just do what you did. Tell the person that offends you and let them know you don't play like that.

Answer 2

Well I look pretty generically white so I haven't had much experience with this. But I think the person who says he might "like you" might be on to something. I am half Italian and the ONE time somebody back in high school called me a "spaghetti bender," he asked me out the very next week! I turned him down because he was NOT my friend first and I didn't like him for many reasons, but still, you see the parallel there. Another thought is maybe when he first met you he was a little uncomfortable, wondering if he should watch what he said in case you were sensitive about your culture, with all that is going on in the world today. But he tried out a few "jokes," you didn't get TOO upset, and now he thinks you don't mind. Do you mind questions from people who are genuinely curious about your culture? Offer to answer those and let it be known you've had enough of the terrorist comments. Of course, you might have to go to the counselor or dean if it continues, but you shouldn't have to have your identity revealed if you don't want to.

Answer 3

well, he apologized, so that was good... but he should be made aware that some jokes just aren't funny, and you shouldn't say things that put other down, even in jest.
And obviously he could tell you were upset, since he apologized, so hoepfully he won't do it again. But if he does, or anyone else does it, look them in the eye, hold your head high, and tell them that "to blame an entire religion or culture for the extreme actions of a certain subgroup is unfair and racist, and it ought to be beneath them as proud Americans to stoop to such a level for the sake of a weak joke... which no one here finds funny."
That will make it clear that such remarks are not acceptable in your presence, and make them think twice about how they treat others.

Answer 4

I know you don't want to be a tattle tale, but I would go to the school counselor. You never know when "they're just jokin'" will turn into something more hatred. If you tell the counselor I just want someone to be aware of it, I'm not trying to get anyone in trouble and I don't want anyone to know I'm talking to you, then the counselor can discreetly handle it. You NEED TO MAKE SOMEONE in a position of authority aware of it. IF on the outside chance someone decided to take it a step further, you wouldn't have a leg to stand on. Good luck.

Answer 5

It seems like your friend thought that you wouldn't mind because of your bond, sort of like certain Asians and Hispanics who African-Americans accept and then allow them to call them the "n" word...
However, he was obviously incorrect in his assumption, and I personally believe that words and statements like that (including the "n" word, even when black people use it) are always racist and disrespectful and should be avoided.

I think if he ever does this again, when he tries to appologize to you, you should NOT blow it off with a "whatever". Explain to him that you get enough of that from strangers and you really just don't need it from your friends, too. It's unfortunate that Middle Easterners are being targeted, but if you have understanding friends, it can be a lot easier to deal with other people who put you down.

Answer 6

I'm muslim and wear hijab. I've had this happen to me before. The only thing that I can say is to be proud of who you are. Dont let people make you feel bad about who you are. If your friend says it agian tell him in a serious way that its not cool. That it really hurts and if he continues that you cant be friends. I have done this before so I know it works. The rest is up to them. If they respect you they will stop and if they dont you dont need to be there friend anyway!!
Salaams

Answer 7

You need to be very firm with anyone who talks to you like that. Don't whine or laugh with them or they will not take you seriously. Practice in front of a mirror being firm and calm. Tell them that you do not find it funny, they are being ignorant, and it needs to stop now. You will not tolerate people speaking to you that way.
I am sure you are a sweet intelligent young lady, kudos for asking for help!

Answer 8

He really may have been joking. I sometimes use tasteless jokes especially if I think they point out stupidity.

I would constantly refer to you as a terrorist to show how stupid it all is, like because you're muslim you automatically want to bomb the country your family came to for a better life.

I know when you're in it its different. My dad LOOKS middle eastern and gets nasty comments everyday so I can imagine to BE middleeastern and have the comments really hit home.

Maybe you should learn more about Arab (I'm assuming you are Arab) culture and history and the MANY things they have given our modern society (like our NUMBERS) and use these as weapons against the "they are all terrorist" thing.

Answer 9

I can't relate to this but I feel really sorry for you. But you won't disagree that Middle-Eastern pple. are under suspicion after what happened. We shouldn't judge every person becuz its just not right. But if it was Australians who did it, we wouldn't trust them, would we? Neither would you. I feel that your pple. are more likely to be attackers but I know there are many who aren't. It's just plain wrong to hate you 4 that. Tell your friend/others how you feel. They need to understand or they're not real friends. Good luck with your problems, friend.

Answer 10

These people are not really your friends.But if you insist on associating with them to boost popularity,tell them to cut the sh*@ or you will not speak to them again.Your situation kind of reminds me of when I was younger.Most of my friends were of European descent(Italian,Portuguese).One day a couple of us got into a bad fight,the first thing she could think of to say to me was the N word.Needless to say,I ended the friendship.