I'm a positive person who likes to be nice with the rest of the people. I don't like to raise my voice in an argument and don't like to swear. Don't get me wrong, I have a strong character and don't hesitate to set the record straight when needed, but anyway my ex considered "being nice" as a weakness and would often tell me "I could walk all over you if I wanted to". He was from Scotland, I'm from Sout America... could you please help me understand his reasoning? Is there any cultural thing behind his need to be tough or was he just a bully?
2007-01-22 07:52:30 · 8 answers · asked by yayita 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
A person who is of strong character chooses to be kind. A person with character weakness is afraid to be kind.
Kindness is usually a strength, and most often people who choose to be kind know when they will draw the line and when they may need to sacrifice some kindness for assertiveness. People who don't understand this see kindness as weakness, but that's their problem.
A person can be kind and not assertive enough, or a person can be kind for the wrong reasons (wanting to keep the peace, be liked, or gain approval, etc.); but when a strong person chooses to be kind for the right reason it is not a sign of weakness.
It isn't about culture. Its about personality, insecurities, and values.
2007-01-22 08:02:51 · answer #1 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am Scottish as well and do not have any great love of the meek I think allot of it is how he grew up (if he is like me) Life was very hard violent as much as not so there fore perhaps like me he has been conditioned to think act and behave aggressively I have been through all sorts of things that this trait has served me well and helped me survive and has also derailed me several times in life so perhaps it is a cultural thing.
2007-01-22 08:08:37 · answer #2 · answered by crawler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people view being too nice as a weakness. If you weren't passive, but just always nice, then I think he was being a bully. I don't yell or swear either and I don't think I am weak. He didn't deserve you.
2007-01-22 08:03:17 · answer #3 · answered by rachel_ksr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a cultural difference. He sees your polite behavior as a weakness. Many American men like that particular cultural difference- but I guess it's not the same for all! Good thing this guy went away!
2007-01-22 08:07:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,i think is a matter of when, and for what reason, you use kindness. may be you think if you said no your boyfriend or your friend will make you feel inferior or mean. but it depends on the situation or circumstances that arises.i would say seek wisdom,from the bible. ok
2007-01-22 10:03:00 · answer #5 · answered by godman b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus is nice but he isn't weak. Be more like Him not the all bark no sense bully.
2007-01-22 08:17:00 · answer #6 · answered by renee y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always liked the Teddy Roosevelt quote, "Speak softly and carry a big stick."
2007-01-22 08:11:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No
2007-01-22 07:57:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋