can you help me change the way i treat people?

Question

I am a loner and has suffered a depression one year ago and now I am totally different.I am not the same bubbly person as i was before.I treat people differntly.I am not purposedly letting myself be a loner but i just think i feel better when i m alone. Because of my previos experiences i just dont want to be hanging out with people. I aproach people who after getting to know me they will hate me the next but i dont approach people who likes to hang out me. When i know that they want to hangout with me I am giving them attitudes and eventually they will hate me.After that I am alone again everyday I go to school after that go in the basement watch tv.its the only way i feel better.But now I want to change it I want to be noraml again hanging out with friends. I dont wan to be a loner fro the rest of my life. can anyone help me with this situation

Answer 1

well, change is a normal thing in our lives. Life itself is a change. What u went through a year ago is an unfortunate thing. But this doesn't mean that you think about it for too long. It's good that you are thinking of a solution and you're looking for one. I know ppl in ur same situation but they don't want to (or are afraid to) change. well, that is a good step.
The next step is to take an action. I agree with the other advisors. Go out and exercise, call your old friends and make new ones. But there's something which you must do first. Look within.
After you have scanned the reasons for your attitude and your changed behaviour begin working on your relationships with your friends. Unlike some of those who advised you, don't get to know friends through your father, mother, sister or brother. You might like them yet it's better to make this step on your own. So, if you hurt them you don't have to hurt a family member also.
I see a good person in you and I believe strongly in your courage and will. You can do it. You can take the next step.
Begin with your relationships at school, mend your old relationships before looking for new friends. Mending is harder, by the way. But this is the best way as it will help you gain trust in yourself, gather more courage and boost up your confidence.
I had the same problem and am still working on it.
Back to your question. While mending your school relationships, break the wall you built at home too. Trying many things at once will give you a chance to see your problems and deal with from different perspectives.
Going out too is useful. Be urself and whenever you feel like wanting to hurt someone stop yourself and tell yourself that you want to take a step forward and not backward. Tell yourself that you can't destroy what you've built and that you have gone so far and must keep on going even if it seems hard to you (at first).
Have Faith in God and ask for His help too. I am sure He will answer your prayers. (also, if you go to church -if you don't try to go back there once more-you can make friends from churchgoers and that will make you stronger).
Good Luck in your experiments, hope I have helped you with my answer. I pray that God stands by your side all the way through.
In bocca'l lupo.

Answer 2

You can change the way you treat others by changing the way you treat yourself. Be diligent about staying positive--look yourself in the eye and say I love you and mean it. There is something wonderful about you that only you and Creator know, it is what makes you happy. Do not deceive yourself into thinking you can avoid being honest with yourself about how and what changed your situation a year ago, life and its circumstances sometimes go horribly wrong and hurt us deeply but these are not things that defeat us. You are strong and infinitely loved, do not mistakenly blame yourself for the way you feel...you will survive if you give yourself a voice and truly listen to what that voice is telling you is best for you.

Answer 3

3 possibilities: 1. he's just pissed. he'll cool down if you just give him space and time. 2. his real personality is the one he's showing you now. 3. he finds another girl there. -> this happened to me more than twice. I was in a lot of long distance relationships before. whenever a guy changed, and no matter how i denied it.. at the end it always had the same ending for me. the guy already found himself a new one.

Answer 4

I agree that you should force yourself to be with others. I mean it is not healthy for a person to always be alone.It is ok sometimes but it is important to socialize and not isolate yourself. The only advice I can give you is that ACTION helps relieve depression..get up go for a walk and join something that interests you and find people with your same interests whatever they are.

Answer 5

You might want to consider starting to exercise. It helps depression A LOT, plus you might meet a healthy and nice group of people at the gym. I know it's not an easy thing to do, but I guarantee it will make you feel better.

Answer 6

Who Are you angry at? Ask yourself why am I so afraid to get close to others? What is it that makes me react in a why to push people away? What do I get from setting myself up to be rejected by others?
Oh yea! I don't have to take a risk of getting hurt by somone. Its safer to be alone and aviod risk of being abused. Its easier to jump down someone elses neck before they can get down my neck. OH yea If i'm a jerk, I dont want anyone to tell me. Its so much easier not to change and be stuck in a moment that causes me pain. I am a loner and dont want to get close to anyone. SELF TALK CAN BE MURDER. PAIN IS THE LITTLE DEATH.

Answer 7

friend, from the flood of answers u have recieved, u might know that people are always ready with advices. there ends their help. i tell u only one person cal really help u out and that is u urself. and no one else. others can only guide you.spme experiences may have hurt you. but u should come out of that.u loneliness makes u feel better because u think that others will hate u when u go out. thats a wrong attitude. if u try to be urself, nobody will hate you. u neednt be extra polite to hem or overtly decent to them which may make u seem artificial. try to be true to urself. act as nay person would in a normal cirumstance. remember that you will get only what u give others, u give others ur attitude and they hate u inturn. but u said that u show ur attitude to people who like to hang out with you, right. that itself shows that u are liked by others. comeon, some people do want to hang out with you. isnt that something worthwhile. switch off ur tv nd go out into the real world. meet ur friends. tell ur close friends that u really want o be like u were a year ago. speak to them openly abt ur depression problem and request them to help you out. i am sure whn u speak ur heart out, there may be many who really want to help you.u r in school now. this attitude will not help u in any manner when u go to college. try one step at a time. call up ur old freind and talk to him. slowly try to catch up with ur old friends. open ur heart to ur best friends . ask ur parents to take u out where u can meet other people. once u get enough confidence, u can try it on ur own. remember that it is u urself who attracts or repels people. u can set up goals for urself. at the end of each day u can find out how much u have achieved. believe me, u will improve a lot the next day. as i said, my role ends here. u have to take the fight on from this point. remember to be happy always, try to be urself, treat others as u want them to treat you.above all, know that some people are out there who love u and want to enjoy ur company. go ahead, and do it. all the veyr best to u.

Answer 8

1. The state of your soul and mind.
2. The way that you treat people.
3. The pure love that you have in your heart.

Answer 9

Try to let yourself free. Look at what is good. Maybe you should see a therapist if you're always sad. There's the chatrooms online if you don't wanna be super lonely. Good luck.

Answer 10

Don't isolate yourself.
Force yourself into social situations.
Start calling people again and be persistent.
Stay on your meds.
Friendship takes work so don't be lazy.