my only brother is whipped beyond comprehension by wife and in-laws...how to handle this????

Question

My only brother whom I love dearly has fallin into a bad senario of being not only whipped by his wife ,but his mother and father-in-law constantly run their lives . They couldnt pick a paint color without making sure they approved. Hes the less assertive one on the family and im the one who does not hold my tounge well. Ive conveyed my disapproval for his having no say in what he does with his kids, around the house, what kind of car to buy ...and prob when to eat and go to the bathroom for that matter. It drives me nuts...does this just fall under the .."you cant say nothing " catagory???? if i want to keep in good standings with Bro????

Answer 1

I know that you love your brother and it hurts you to see him being treated this way, but it's really not your business. You need to bite your tongue, however difficult it may be, and stay out of it. I know from experience. My brother is totally whipped by my nasty sister-in-law. I love him, but I've always kept my mouth shut. He is a big boy. He can take care of himself, and it's not going to help the situation to make my sister -in-law hate me. It will only make things harder on my brother.

Answer 2

But, is your brother happy? I understand your personality, but is he a "go with the flow" kind of guy? If you're really worried for his sake, have a talk and ask him, (Don't accuse) Ask him if it ever bothers him when.... If he says no, then it's really not a problem, and you need to mind your own business.

If he says it does, then you need to dig deeper. Ask him if he's happy? What is he unhappy about? are these things that make him unhappy still manageable for him? Even unhappy people won't walk away from a relationship. They stay until they break. You can't speed up that train.

But for the sake of not overstepping your boundaries, find out if he's happy first so you don't put your foot in your mouth. He may be just fine. You can't expect him to live to your standard. Afterall, he isn't you.

I hope everything is okay with your brother and that he is getting all that he needs.

Answer 3

I hate to tell you this, but it really is none of your business! The way your brother chooses to live his life is up to him. The more you verbally disapprove, the more distant he will become. You need to just hope and pray that he will get to the point where he stands up for himself and his family. By you trying to get involved and tell him what he should do, you are no better than the in-laws. Allow him to live his own life and have faith that he will eventually get fed up with being treated like a child and do something about it.

Good luck to you!!

Answer 4

Well you shouldnt say 'nuthin..
Its not your life, your business, nor your place to decide. Its his. Involving yourself in this is likely gonna lead no place good.

and if indeed he is whipped as you say, and unhappy with the situation (he may be perfectly happy with it) Nothing you say or do is going to make any difference if he dosen't make the changes himself.. except yer gonna tick someone off somewhere along the line.

and if you do decide to take matters into your own hands.. you are just as guilty of whipping and controling as the inlaws are. The boy has to make his own life and decisions.. and even refusing to make a decision is a decision...

Answer 5

a similar thing happens to my brother, I have 3 siblings and it tends to happen to all of them with their couples, but it's more evident with that brother who's the sweeter, but I think it's slowly getting better, he will have to stand and get angry if necessary, and you'll have to be reallly nice towards him specially in front of his wife and relatives

Answer 6

Advise him to tell the inlaws to MTOB....that nuts
He needs to grow a spine...

Answer 7

Get a wife and get whipped too!!!!!