What are good reasons not to talk to people (nobody talks to me and I don't know why)?

Question

I don't have very many friends. I would like to make some next semester but I need to change whatever is repelling people from me. I'm shy and my parrents say that I intimidate people because I'm too secluded. The only real reason I can think of is that I'm ugly. Good looking people always have friends, right? I have never met good looking people who are lonely. I don't realy think I'm ugly but I must be. I do not understand how people make friends. I am very akward in conversation. People have intoduced themselves to me and the other way around and then we never speak again, could this be because after talking to me they realize that I'm not cool or fun? I hear people making fun of me behind my back and even in front of my face and I don't know why. How should I change myself to make more friends next semester?

Answer 1

Well 1 reason is your shy you should speak up, if they say hi once you should also start by sayin hi the next time you see them...make conversation, talk dont give them the impression that you cant make a conversation or you are too shy to speak theyll think youre boring to hang around with. Talk to new people make friends with them.

Answer 2

Making friends is all good and well - however, it is a different plateau to make good friends. The first step is the hardest : get to know yourself. What are YOUR beliefs ? Are you open-minded or close-minded ? The list is extensive and not inclusive, but it boils down to knowing yourself before getting to know others. If you have a clear idea of who you are, you will probably find that your self-confidence increases enormously. Conversations generally start with a specific (often rather random) topic, detouring and spiralling all over the topical map in a matter of mere hours. And good looking people do not always have friends, so you can discount that presumption altogether.
Being secluded, presumably because you are seemingly engrossed in a particular book or something similar, probably gives the indication that you are busy and unapproachable at that moment.
People who make fun of other people often are the most insecure and non-valuable people you'll ever encounter, often amounting to a waste of valuable air, water and food. Take heart in that, as down the road karma will come full circle to bite on the ones who are cruel and petty.

Answer 3

The biggest obstacle may be your lack of self confidence. Don't worry about your appearance; as long as you practise good hygiene you shouldn't be repelling anyone with your looks. The most attractive people are those with charm and whether you are ugly, handsome, fat or thin, you can cultivate the art of engaging people in a positive way. A friendly hello is a good start. Smile. Look right at people and after you have greeted them, ask them something about themselves; for example: "How was your day?" Listen. Smile. Ask them more questions. Keep your first conversations brief but extend them the next time until you become more and more confident. Keep a little notebook to record how you are doing and what works.
Keep a little file of interesting articles...stuff in the news or about pop culture or things that you may have in common with the person you are trying to engage. The big thing is to focus on the person with whom you are speaking showing genuine interest, concern and warmth. I'll bet you will do just fine. Good luck.

Answer 4

You should not be so hard on yourself. If you are shy, a lot of times people take that as being standoffish. I know because I used to be really shy, and when I moved to a new city, it was really hard for me to make friends because I never knew what to say to other people. How do you start a conversation with someone you don't even know? What do you talk about? If this is how you feel, I know I used to feel that way too. If you act interested in people, they tend to respond better. It has nothing to do with your looks. I've been told I'm very pretty and still I could not make friends. I bet you are pretty, too. I don't think it has anything to do with you not being cool or fun, I think that your shyness makes people think you are not interested in being their friend. When you meet someone new, just pretend that they are the most interesting person you've ever met. Show an exaggerated interest in them. I know it sounds stupid, but it really works! Good luck and hang in there. Feel free to e-mail me if you need moral support, I've been there!!

Answer 5

Don't worry about having to many friends. It's better to have a few good friends than a bunch of no accounts. I've never talked to you, so I can't say why people are stand offish. Maybe you do have a tendency to intimidate a little and I'm sure you're not ugly. Just be yourself and let nature take it's course and I sure a few good friends will come. Just don't try to be to aggressive. Everyone can't be movie stars, but we can be ourselves and if someone expects more of you than that then they wont make a very good friend. Hang in there and have fun with life and your true friends will come.

Answer 6

Ugly people make friends the same way beautiful people do: by being outgoing and receptive to friendship. Without knowing you or your situation very well, I bet you're parents are right... you might be too "secluded". If friends you want, you'll have to allow that situation to happen... so next time you're introduced or introduce yourself to some potential friend, remember the secret of good conversation: ask good, meaningful questions that allow that other person to talk about themselves, their likes/dislikes, whatever. People generally like to talk about themselves, and if you find some common ground to talk about, you're in.

Forget about the past, you can't change anything, no big deal. Start tomorrow, or if possible start today in the direction you want to go. Good luck.

Answer 7

thats an awkward one.dont take this the wrong way but u mentioned talking to people and then not talking again i was thinking personal hygiene?not sure but apparently the person doesn't notice themselves!anyway thats the awkward one out of the way,assuming the afore mentioned is ruled out dont take it to heart too much.i've always lived by the theory i'm happy,whenever possible try and make others happy if it fails at least u tried and should feel good about urself for trying.forget the ugly theory i aint no oil painting but got plenty of mates because of the above and they realise i'm a genuine bloke who'll help whenever i can!obviously older than u cos u mentioned semester(thats school terms in britain)but take it from a not tooooo long ago school leaver be yourself and you wont go far wrong.all the best!!!

Answer 8

It has nothing to do with looks. You express yourself very well. So that's not it; but you may be really smart which they will not be able to handle.

Some thing else! You may have been born to be a lone, or with just a few good ones as friends. Most are better off that way; they just don't realize it and are hurt worse because of that.

You also may suffer from the Sin Upon Me Syndrome. That's where everyone you meet will sin upon you; in turn they're condemned for choosing to do it. You may have been born for that; it's your purpose, to sifter out the bad.

Answer 9

Be more approachable. Smile a lot and say "Hi"1
It helps if you look like you have energy.
Walk up to people first and comment on something to get the conversation started.

Take mental notes of all the current events taking place in your school and use those to comment on, to start a conversation.

You could also say something about a teacher that you share with someone else.

Laugh and be relaxed when you're with someone.
These qualities will get you friends. I know. I've always had tons of them.

Answer 10

Quit being shy! Get out there, be outgoing, but be yourself! If you're all quiet and shy and in the corner, of course no one is going to go back there and talk to you. Take a deep breath, say hi to someone, and start a conversation. Be the one to make friends, don't let someone else have the responsibility of making friends with you! good luck