I have waited my whole life to have a teenage daugher and now all she wants from me is my pocket book. She loves to hang out with dad and I do everything with dad. I went shopping with her for a dress for Military Ball and found something we both liked, but it cost a lot, so dad said no. A week later he went out with her to the mall and they pick her dress out together. All I got to do is go pay for it and pick it up. Should I be jealous or thankful she has an interested dad to take her shopping for dresses.?
Mom is the cold.
Tracylyn
2007-01-22 07:28:13 · 6 answers · asked by Tracylyn S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, Tracylyn, you are not quite in the cold. There is a point at which daughters are bonding with their fathers more than their mothers, and it's pretty normal as long as he doesn't let their relationship interfere with the relationship you and he have. That part of the dress purchase that you describe doesn't seem fair to you, but don't be jealous.
The green-eyed monster can be quite an issue to deal with, and if you look back to the relationship you had with your mom when you were a teen, you might have some insight. As teen girls become more mature, they can use the bonding with their dad to test out their own feelings about males that she'll carry with her into adulthood and into her future relationships.
Expressing jealousy in front of either of them probably won't help you very much. There can be some innate conflict between two women under the same roof, I've seen it with my sis and my mom as well as girlfriends and their daughters, it kind of comes with the territory at some point. With a good basis, though, if you've done a good job raising her up until now, she'll come around soon enough and appreciate you as a woman and a mom.
My thoughts about the dress and him buying it for her after he told you no troubles me a little more, only from the perspective that you and he should be presenting a united front to her regarding anything at all (rules, fun things, and shopping). I can see where he may have had second thoughts about the expense vs her happiness for the Military Ball, and conceded to her wants, but he should have shared that with you first, and you both could have given her the good news and both shared in her appreciation.
If you choose to bring that up in a discussion with him at some time, be sure it's when you're both in really mellow moods and can calmly talk without stirring up any deep-seated emotional baggage either of you might have.
Good luck, and peace out! Bob
2007-01-22 07:50:46 · answer #1 · answered by winefp2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's okay honey, you're just human, we can't help these feelings sometimes.
My son is almost 2 and my husband recently returned after a year in Iraq. He was a momma's boy ALL THE WAY. That is, until my husband got home. Now, all I hear is, "daddy, daddy, daddy".
Every daughter has a special bond w/ their father that is unexplainable and the same goes for the bond w/ her mother, it's just different.
As long as you are just venting and not seriously distraught over this, then you know the answer to your qustion. Smile, you are lucky to have the family you have.
2007-01-22 07:46:23 · answer #2 · answered by Nina Lee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How the BLEEP would a twelve year old know who or what the right man to have a baby with is ?? You missed out on your child hood having her so young. I PROMISE NO JUDGING HERE THO. Not my place . But that's probably part of the reason. Good thing is, you are still fresh and young and can reinvent yourself and continue at a shot of living your dreams. Just let go of obsessing over your daughters good fortune and take hold of yours
2016-05-23 22:18:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely be grateful for the relationship your daughter has with her father. Feeling jealous is ok as long as you don't act upon it, show it or be resentful towards her father. (especially in front of your daughter) Just go with the flow. There will those days for mother-daughter only outings. It just hasn't happen yet.
2007-01-22 07:41:00 · answer #4 · answered by DariusAA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cherish the time that they have together, because once she leaves home she is gone, just comes back in for visits, just remember you are always going to be the favorite (mother of two daddys girls)
2007-01-22 07:36:44 · answer #5 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be thankful cause not everyone can get everything they want
2007-01-22 07:39:07 · answer #6 · answered by mustangsweetthing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋