He's a good kid but very secretive. He will not offer any information unless specifically asked. I just want to know if there should be a problem before it arises. Just want to make sure he stays out of trouble.
2007-01-22 06:54:08 · 57 answers · asked by ANGIE 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Everyone gave great answers. I appreciate it. And I am glad there is so many other parents who monitor their kids email. I talked to my son and he gave me his password. He told me he was waiting for me to ask because all of his friend's parents asked for their passwords.
2007-01-25 02:29:42 · update #1
A lot of people will say that it's wrong and you should give them some privacy. Personally - he's 12!!! He hasn't earned privacy yet, nor is he mature enough to be left to himself for things. The internet can be a very intriging place - especiialy for a young boy like him. I say check it - absolutly! He lives in your house - and he has to play be his rules. I would, however, tell him you will do that. He has to keep you up to date with his user name and password and he needs to know that mom may check at any given time. I would say the same rule applies to his bedroom - privacy is a priveledge, not a right at 12. You are the parent - it's your responsiblity to keep his safe and out of trouble whenever you can.
2007-01-22 06:59:19 · answer #1 · answered by cfisher4234 3 · 4⤊ 4⤋
As a mother of 3 girls and a son I would do the same. And with the internet world per se, as it is with all the sexual predators on Myspace and such, I would. My neice is 17 and thinks it is, 'fuck3d up how her parents always sort through her e-mail. They found some very... explicit e-mails sent to her by older men on her myspace page. So I say go ahead! My son is 5 but he won't express to me who he has crushes on, why he got a time out, etc. When my son gets his own e-mail {even my daughters ages 1 and 2 days} I will do that. To me, my child's safety is more important to me than my child's privacy.
2007-01-22 10:22:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's 12 years old and your son...I don't think it's a problem...there are too many things that can happen online to lure kids away. By all means, he is at home ... even if he was 14 you could check it (you pay the bills). Just try to do it in a way that won't make him afraid to come and talk to you in the future if there is a problem; also if you find something crazy, don't lash out at him either. Sometimes emails can be crazy and received by your son even if he doesn't know the person, so don't be too hard on him. Good luck!!
2007-01-22 07:34:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
No, it's not wrong, you're not check behind him, you're checking for his protection. There are so many online preditors, sitting there waiting for our children. The Tv shows you how easy it is for them to get our children everyday, true you can't believe everything you see on tv, but this is one thing we all need to sit up and pay attention to. A good parent takes as many steps needed to protect their child. I have a 12 yr old as well, and everything he does online I know about it, I have limit his incoming and outgoing email, I know every web site he visit. If something slip through, which I know sometimes they do, I'll be there to catch that too, because he has set times that he can go online. Sounds harsh, well preditors are harsh and don't care how you feel about them, all that they are after is our children, being girl or boy, it doesn't matter. Let's not let them win, our children is our fulture.
2007-01-22 09:13:46 · answer #4 · answered by suiteldy66 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nope. If you're trying to be a good parent and keep him from harm, there's no problem. He's still very young. When's he's older, I'd afford him more privacy. No 12 year old should be emailling people other than friends they know personally from school, etc. I wouldn't read the emails unless you think something's up(especially the ones from school chums, etc.), but if something looked funny(a weird email address, whatever), I'd check it out, pronto. There are too many predators out there! If he finds out and gets mad, tell him you'll take the email away or only allow computer access when you're in the room! Explain to him WHY you want to know about his surfing & email activity.
2007-01-22 07:03:48 · answer #5 · answered by Angela M 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
No, its not. You are being a good parent for being involved. Will he be furious if he finds out? Yes, but you are responsible for keeping him safe. With the email, I would not open it unless it raises a red flag. If its someone you don't know then I would look. If its between him and his friends I would leave it alone, that is private and not something that is warranted unless you are afraid something specifically is going on.
Also, you may want to put child restrictions on your computer to ban him from unsafe sites. That way you don't have to check up on him. If he has a myspace, make sure he sets his profile to be viewed by friends only so it is harder for online predators to get at him. Good for you for caring and being involved. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
2007-01-22 07:01:00 · answer #6 · answered by medicpaige 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
He's twelve...not 21...you are his mother. If you are allowing him to have his own email and internet access, than you have the right to monitor it. Be open and honest about it with him though so that he doesn't feel like you are snooping because then he won't trust you AT ALL and will open up to you even less and become MORE secretive. One thing to think about though....if he is already secretive for some reason and he suspects or know that you will check his stuff...he will just create other accounts that you don't know about....just sit down and have an honest talk with him about your fears and concerns.
2007-01-22 07:02:21 · answer #7 · answered by I'minlovewiththeboy 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Check it. I would. The internet is not a place for a young boy or girl to go totally unsupervised. Some call it spying, it's not. You, as a parent, have an obligation to be aware of what your child is getting into. He will have his independence when he is older, right now he needs to be cared for. You only protect those that are precious to you. The catch is...only confront him on things that are dangerous or breaking the rules. This is where you will have to choose your battles.
2007-01-22 08:19:53 · answer #8 · answered by shirewyn 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unless you can honestly and truly say that he is looking at porn or having online sex, then yes, it is wrong.
I learned internet safety my own way. I realized that if someone is being a perv, then ignore it, close the window, and don't come back to the site. If someone is posting inappropriate pictures, then click out of the window, move on, and be more careful about what you click.
It's not rocket science, and it's not the ghetto. It's just the internet.
2007-01-22 07:56:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not at all! I check my 12 year old and 10 year olds email once a week. Although try to do it at a time when he isn't around so that he doesn't know, because if he knows it can lead to trusting problems. And are you looking because you see that something is wrong? Is he hiding something? Sometimes does he never seem to want to get off? If he never wants to get off then he might be addicted to whatever hes doing and there is a 75% chance its something bad!
2007-01-22 07:35:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋