How would you tell a good friend that her husband was cheating?

Question

OR, would you? My friend has been married for 3 years, and they have a 2 year old son. Her husband has cheated on her and I have found out through mutual "good" friends. Would you tell your friend what you have heard and if so, how would you say it? Thanks in advance.

We have a group of friends that have been very good friends for years. The people telling me this have known her husband since they were kids. They would never make something like this up. This is the last thing they wanted to see from their friend.

Answer 1

This is a tough one. I would hate to be in your shoes right now.

I would tell the friends who have the proof to be the ones to tell her. All you can go on is "I heard" and that's not enough. If that's my girl and I'm looking out for her, I would also confront the husband. I would let him know that I'm not the only one that knows about it and he better tell her before she finds out from someone else (me).

Answer 2

That's a hard one. Because if you don't really have the solid prove, in go ahead in tell her. That you heard through mutual friends. Her husband is going to lie about it, in your going to be the bad guy. You might even lose your friend over it. If your really close to her and she your good, good friend. You need to go back to were you heard it, from your mutual good friends. Am sure they know more details. In not only that, as a good Friend, see if you can find out who this other girl is. Find the facts out first. In once you do I would tell my friend. If you could even following her husband in take picthers or if he having affair with the same girl. He going to have some kind of patten so prove you can get. But it's going to take your time up. And even after affairs a lot of couples stay together in you still and up being the bad guy. If you can take picthers in mail them to her.In act like you no nothing, when she tells you.

Answer 3

She already has and idea that he is cheating. I am sure he has told the old story we are just friends . She needs a friend right now, who will tell her the truth . Go out to lunch sometime , see if she gives you hints that she knows something is going on. If she does tell her what you know. If she does not indicate she know anything drop a hint or two about what you know. If she ask for further information tell her. Don't keep her in the dark. It is lonely when you think you are crazy thinking your husband is cheating and he tells you it is all in your mind . When it is the truth and no one will stand up and tell you they know what is going on too.

Answer 4

As much as it would be a good friend move to tell her the truth, you will lose her once you tell her, because her being married to a guy he will say no and she will trust him more then to you. You are just another woman that may potentionally envious of her marriage and "so called blind happiness." Now again you can never go by he said she said joint so I would check your sources and find some good evidence on whether he really did cheat on her. You never know. I wouldnt get involved. People can try to put dirt on someone to break someone up. Have you thought of how easy that would of been if we all just believed some of your friends say this or that and just break one up on those basis? Why was you mutual friend would even stick his nose some place else like his gf? Or let me guess it was a girl who like to spread rumors that dont excist because she tried to talk to her husband and he turned her down so now she mad? Or it was a single guy who likes your girlfriend and dont want her to be married to that other guy so its easy to blame some shyt on him. My advice DO NOT GET INVOLVED!!!

Answer 5

Do not get involved in this.

They have a 2 year old son. Maybe she already knows and they are trying to work it out. She will be so embarrassed if she knows that you know.

If you really feel like you have to say something, do it in a subtle way. Like, "what would you do if you found out your husband was cheating on you?" and see what she says. Then you can have a "conversation" about cheating without actually telling her yourself. Depending on how open she is about talking about it, you could ask her what she would do if she found out one of her husbands friends was cheating. Then you could ask if she would want to know or not. The thing is, don't force her to talk to you about it. Maybe she's working this out herself on her own.

Answer 6

When people get married they determine how and what their marriage will be. If you intrude and tell her about her husband then what would you say if she said they agreed that was fine? Which of the two would you blame then? her or him.
Why should you care what you heard. Most things we hear whether or not from a reliable source could still be misconstrued. So what people do in a marriage is their own business, don't get involved. If you get inovlved you will come out being the bad guy (either he or she will get mad at you or even maybe spread rumors about you just to get back at you). If you are so concerned, then why not tell those reliable sources to tell her (instead of you).

Answer 7

Catch 22 here.
Consider the position you place yourself in. Although you feel an obligation to your friend to tell her, you also set yourself up to be blamed. One, if the rumors are not true and the truth is revealed, then you get to harbor the guilt for the destruction of a marriage and/or a friendship. On the other hand, if you don't tell, and it comes out you knew along, then you may get blamed for not speaking up. The best thing for you to do, is to catch the cheating husband in the act. If you know where the husband will be with his mistress, you simply make arrangements with his wife to be there. That way you and your friend are just spending a casual evening out as friends, when BAM she sees it for herself and she is none the wiser of your knowledge. And keep in mind, although you may think you know your friend, people have a funny way of making excuses and justifying the behavior of someone they love when their lifestyle and the love they have, even for a cheating spouse, is on the line.

Be true to yourself first. That is your first obligation and the other is to simply be there for your friend. If you tell her, and she chooses to forgive him after YOU were the one to bring it to her attention, then you most likely will lose her friendship, as well as his.

Answer 8

YES I would definately let your friend know what you've heard and who you heard it from...Let her make her own decision how she will confront her husband or follow him to see if this is true. I'm sure you would want to know if you were in her shoes* (no body likes to be the barrier of bad news, but she's your GOOD FRIEND and Deserves to know if her man is cheating on her...then it's up to her what to do from there..Stay supportive for her as she will need* True Friends* if it ends up being True*
Just come right out , face to face with her, and let her know that you've heard her husbands been messing around on her and were scared to tell her, as you're not 100% sure if it's true as you didn't see it yourself.....but Definately Tell Your Friend The Truth......she's already being lied to by the man she loves...don't let her find out later on that You Knew something about it and never said a word to her* GoodLUck*

Answer 9

Telling a woman that her husband is cheating is taking a big risk!!
She could probably not beleive you and accuse you of being jealous!! My rule of thumb is some proof!! Some proof that can not be denied!! My other option is to approach the husband!! Make sure you BS him let him think you have some hardcore crapt on him. Let him know if does come clean that you will!! Either way you are going to be in a sticky situation!!!

Answer 10

Tell her. She deserves to know. You wouldn't be a friend if you didn't tell her - but only if you know for a fact that it's true. No point of starting rumors and maybe even ruining a marriage. Wouldn't you like to know if your husband was cheating on you? Don't let her waste her time with someone who doesn't respect her as a wife, or give her a chance to work on the marriage. I'm not for braking up the marriage, but i think she has the right to know.