Engagement help!Please?

Question

hey friends,
i really need help.
i have found the love of my life and am together with him for 16 years now. I understand that we could just be a normal couple forever, but i really want to get married. We both want children, but right now he is just focused on his life, his carrier, and me. i definately want children and stoped using pills and gave him herbal tee to drink to so we can have more chances of getting pregnant.

I want children being married, and not only being a couple, but he hasnt ask me yet. i love him and am thinking of proposing myself!
is that awkward???

Answer 1

Have you asked yourself why in 16 years not sufficient time for him to establish an career, be married with kids? 16 years have already gone by!!!

You can propose to him if you can't wait any longer. You should read between the lines...you put yourself last..."but right now he is just focused on his life, his carrier, and me." You're not a priority to this man....If he loved you as much he would have had a ring on your finger a long time ago..heck even your kids would be at least 5-6 years old if any.

Answer 2

I don't think there is anything wrong with a woman proposing to a man, but he may have different ideas.

Also, make sure he knows that you have gone off the pill. If you are trying to get pregnant without his knowledge in order to "trap" him, it is highly unethical, not to mention risky. He may say he wants children, but there is no guarantee that he will marry you if you get pregnant. Even if he does marry you due to a pregnancy, there is no guarantee that it will be a happy marriage. The best thing for your relationship is to be completely honest.

Answer 3

No .My wife proposed to me because I simply didn't know she wanted to get married.But don't think for a minute. [And women are known for thinking this ].
That when they get married that thing's are supposed to be different.
That is the problem I ran into with my wife {{{..All a sudden she owned me.}}} She almost ruined are relationship within the first 90 day's of getting married and were together 10 years.

I have question for you. Why after all this time do you feel the need for a piece of paper to feel secure in your relationship.And that's all it is a piece of paper. ' .It will not make him love any more than he doe's now sorry to inform you but it really is what is in your heart.

Answer 4

if he hasn't asked you then HE. IS. NOT. READY. don't dare try to oops him by stopping your pills and getting pregnant. that will only make the situation worse. because he will realize that you trapped him into doing something that he just is not ready for. maybe he can only focus on but so much at a time. but if you are so ready to get married and get pregnant...by all means...find someone else. unfortunately it is the biggest misconception that too many people make. that if one tries to get pregnant just to 'move the relationship forward' it ends up going sideways. if you want to do this right...get back on your pills and give him an ultimatum. that you are ready to get married. if he says 'no' or 'i'm not ready' then you need to break up with him and find someone else that is ready to get married and have children like you. by the way...talking will not help (especially if you have already been talking about it). he has made his decision. now you have to make yours. besides...your post sounds like 'YOU' want to have children instead of 'you two' want to have children.

Answer 5

IF I WAS U I WOULD WANT TO HAVE A SIT DOWN WITH HIM AND FIND OUT WHY HE IS NOT INTERESTED IN GETTING MARRIED, U ARE LEGALLY MARRIED IF U ARE WITH HIM FOR MORE THAN 7 YRS, IN MY STATE, SO EVERYTHING IS JOINTLY OWNED. YOU NEED TO FIND OUT THIS INFORMATION FOR YOU, SO YOU KNOW WHERE THIS RELATIONSHIP IS GOING. BEFORE U PROPOSE, I WOULD HAVE A TALK WITH HIM AND THEN SEE WHAT KIND OF INFORMATION U GET FROM HIM, THEN U WILL HAVE A BETTER ANSWER , AND WILL BE ABLE TO PROCEED FROM THERE. THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION IS NO, U PROPOSING IS NOT WEIRD OR UNUSUAL WOMAN NOW A DAYS ARE DOING ALOT OF THINGS FIRST, RATHER THAN WAITING ON THE MAN. GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 6

does he know that you are using tea time for something other than refreshment? don't go trapping yourself a man and an innocent child into the wrong timing or wrong relationship! if he wants to focus on other things than what you want then you need to move along. 16 years?? Honey if he has not proposed to you in that long he is not going to. You know that old wives tale? Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free???

Answer 7

i don't think so. just keep in mind that because you have been together for so long and he hasn't done it---there is a big chance he'll say no. before you have kids, please make sure that you are both on the same wavelength. otherwise, if you end up getting pregnant, and he's not there mentally as you are, you will definitely feel the brunt of it. and the person who will feel that tension the most, will of course be the child.

Answer 8

Well, if he hasn't ask the question yet, chances are great he won't. So you better do the asking. Tell him it's time to make a baby, but you want your baby to be legal for sure and the only sure way is to be legally married.

Answer 9

I say Go For It!! After 16 years you deserve a happy marriage and children! Congratulations!

Answer 10

I wish I was that brave. You go girl. maybe he does not propose cause, he thinks you two are already married (because you have been together forever).