Masturbation and guilt, strange question.?

Question

My friend called me up last nite with the weirdest question and I dont know what to tellher. She said she gets "urges" sometimes when her hubby isnt around and finds some porn and masterbates to it. However she says the guilt she feels after she does it is overwhelming. She told me she feels as though she has betrayed her husband. I dont know what to tell her and I dont feel much like a friend for not answering her question, what shoud I say? Can I get some thoughts on this? She actually thinks she is cheating in her relationship...

Answer 1

Masturbating is NOT cheating! What she feels as an "urge" is quite normal. It indicates that she has a healthy sex life. Her response to those urges, is perfectly normal too.

Answer 2

I know several people male and female who feel guilty after masturbating. Usually because of a deeply religous upbringing. The guilt your friends feels is different though and I think understandable but only if she prefers masturbating to sex with her husband. From my experience there is nothing that you can tell someone to change their mind. Just do not be judgemental and be a friend.

Answer 3

My feeling is this. If my wife was in the same boat (horny and I am not around) I say take care of it yourself hon. Why? I would prefer that to her finding another guy. Now the porn thing is what might be making her feel worse because she is fantasizing about being with another man.

Personally if she can get off without thinking about anyone but her hubby I would tell her to play to her hearts content.

Answer 4

Masturbation and sexual intercourse are the two most common sexual practices, but they are not mutually exclusive (for example, many people find the sight of their partner masturbating highly erotic). Some people are able to achieve orgasm only through masturbation and not sexual intercourse. Most people experience intense sexual satisfaction when masturbating – often much more so than when they are having sex with their partner.
The reasons for this are many. One of them is that there is no tension involved. Nobody worries about their appearance or their performance when they are masturbating. Orgasm is also often reached quite quickly and a partner’s needs do not have to be considered in any way. Also, most people also know their own bodies very well and are not shy to experiment. Fantasizing is a part of masturbation and it is normal too.
Masturbation does not mean that she does not love her hasband and desire him. She should not feel guiltu and try to incorporate it into nsr normal sex life.

Answer 5

There is nothing wrong with masturbation studies have shown that over 85% of married couples masturbate when their spouses are not around and 60% of married couples have included it as part of foreplay it is not considered cheating in my book anything that feels good go for it besides her husband probably has done it more then once 96% of males masturbate it is a natural thing 68%of females masturbate and I guarantee you while these people are doing it they are thinking of someone else besides their spouse

Answer 6

Well she isn't really doing anything. But that depends on her. if she feels its wrong then it is. if she feels she need to control her urges, then she should find something else to do.
But maybe you should also let her know. Guys probably do it also when their wives are gone. so it makes it even. But then again ,maybe her hubby knows and it gives them a better love life. but i'm sure if she looked around, i'm sure there is a guy, who wil take care of her needs, while hes away.

Answer 7

i have wondered why women seem to often feel guilty or dirty about this,, i blame the parents and church probably. there really isnt any proof to make her believe its ok, besides various books. which most would highlite the fact that it only assists in making one a better lover. maybe that would ease her guilt that she thinks she's cheating. her husband might even be turned on by the idea.

Answer 8

Tell her she's as normal as all the other human beings out there; that both men and women - single and married - enjoy erotica in one form or another. It could be written (short story), visual (pics or videos), or verbal (audio tape, phone sex).

There's nothing you can do to help her come to terms with her own system of guilt, but there's nothing wrong with what she's doing.

She has to come to terms with that - or not.

Answer 9

she is not.. and teel her not to feel guilty, sometime something like that is normal, because she is just real normal human, not some high supernatural relagion follower.
she just need more time to make real good conversation with her husband, and tell her husband to give her foreplay before they made sex, that will give her time to enjoy the meaning of sex.. just do it tell her, maybe it work.. (because i used to had the same problem)
If this advice is work then she will not interest to watch porn or have that guilty feeling.. trust me.

Answer 10

The act of adultery takes place in the mind before it takes place in the physical.

Your friend is very intuitive. She has a sensitive and responsive spririt. She realizes that everything she does evolves her one way or the other. You should not convince her to conform to everyone else's view of what's right and wrong. Just my opinion.