My friend called me up last nite with the weirdest question and I dont know what to tellher. She said she gets "urges" sometimes when her hubby isnt around and finds some porn and masterbates to it. However she says the guilt she feels after she does it is overwhelming. She told me she feels as though she has betrayed her husband. I dont know what to tell her and I dont feel much like a friend for not answering her question, what shoud I say? Can I get some thoughts on this?
2007-01-22 06:22:28 · 25 answers · asked by Tabbitatt 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If she feels that this is not right and she feels guilty then she has to stop doing it all together... Do not continue if it does not feel or seem right.
2007-01-22 06:26:33 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know several people male and female who feel guilty after masturbating. Usually because of a deeply religous upbringing. The guilt your friends feels is different though and I think understandable but only if she prefers masturbating to sex with her husband. From my experience there is nothing that you can tell someone to change their mind. Just do not be judgemental and be a friend.
2007-01-22 14:28:55 · answer #2 · answered by jeremycharles7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she ought not feel guilty... the guilt is just coming from "programming" that has been laid upon her...
It would only be a problem if her activities took away from her obligations to her hubby. As long as they don't then this activity is no different than any other pleasure we treat ourselves to.
I'd be glad to talk to her about this.
2007-01-22 14:26:20 · answer #3 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL.. i dont think its that bad because literally sheusingthe magazines to turn her own and just do the thing.. sex with herself.. so she shouldnt feel guilty is pure sex and probbaly her hubby does it when he gets the urges... i think she should tak to him about how sexual she can get when he is not around.. or ask him to spend more time with her... i think she should talk to him about how much she feels like making love to him more often.. because i dunt think its all about sex but the fact that she misses her hubby alot and thats her way out to her problem of not seeing him that often... they should spend some more time together and tell her to not feel bad b/c she is not cheating him... she is cheating herself.. basically
2007-01-22 14:29:09 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Truth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you didn't answer her question at all? Tell her that if she is feeling guilty that she needs to share those feelings with her husband. There are additional questions that need to be answered. Is she satisfied with hubby? Do they have enough sex? Why is she feeling guilty? Basically, if she is feeling guilty, tell her to stop doing it.
Now, if she'd rather masturbate than be with her husband, then that's another problem.
2007-01-22 14:31:45 · answer #5 · answered by downinmn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she should tell her husband..he may not even care! most women do masterbate..she obviously feels guilt over the porn, which can be a problem in a lot of marriages. she should tell him the truth and see how he feels, if he is upset by it, then she should get rid of the porn. you never know..he may think its "hot" and want to join in. it really just depends on the guy.
2007-01-22 14:27:33 · answer #6 · answered by JKlein 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to feel guilty about it, and would hide it from my husband as well. Since then, I have learned that I jsut have a healthy sex drive, and if I could be having sex instead of the porn, I'd go for the sex. There is nothing at all wrong with it or her.
2007-01-22 14:27:26 · answer #7 · answered by Lemme tell ya... 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe your friend should have more sex with her husband. But as far as masturbation goes its a natural thing and most guys do it well after they are married...tell her not to feel guilty
2007-01-22 14:27:02 · answer #8 · answered by jim 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel like that sometimes, but tell her she shouldnt be feeling guilty. Because is didnt cheat on her man, not even mentally. Because sometimes even if we get enough sex from our man we want to have our lil girl downtime....and to know yourbody so well that you pleasure yourself as good as your man is soooo daymn good. So tell her to stop worrying and tell her maybe she can make a surprise for him and do it in front of him. If he is a man with a lot of sexuality he will love to see her get off herself. It will be very informative, educational to him and he will get excited. Trust me!
2007-01-22 14:34:33 · answer #9 · answered by BK thang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think theres anything wrong with her watching some porn. why should she feel betrayed? she's simply pleasing herself and theres absolutely nothing wrong with that. its totally natural.
if she feels like she gets these "urges" often then why doesnt she call him and tell him? and perhaps have some phone sex instead? believe me its not that bad. i dont think she does anything wrong to feel so guillty.
2007-01-22 14:27:47 · answer #10 · answered by peacegal91 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don' think she should feel guilty but she should tell her husband what she wants in bed if she does that just to satisfy her needs. If she does it for deeper reasons than she may need a sex therapist.
2007-01-22 14:28:16 · answer #11 · answered by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋