My Teen boy is out of control, he wants to be a gang member, why would he want to become that?

Question

His father is a war veteran still active duty, and I dont know what to do!

Answer 1

MOVE!! Get him out of the area. He probably wants to be in a gang because it makes him feel more manly. Take him to a counselor. You have to figure out why he feels the need to do be in a gang, what the emotions are behind it, before you can really help him. Trust me, it's an "emotional issue". Just keep showing that you love him, but let him be a man. Don't baby him.

Answer 2

A lot of teenagers are influenced by movies and by their friends. If i was you i would get his father actively involved and maybe explain to your son that a lot of gang members end up in gang wars and dead. In L.A the primary cause of death in most people is gunshot from gang wars. Maybe there is something your son wants tell him he has to participate in something like Cadets or an after school sport and if he maintains good grades you will buy whatever he wants as long as its within reason. You might also wanna consider a change of scenery.
Good Luck!!!

Answer 3

First, he needs to make preparations for the life of a gangster. He needs to completely reinforce the front and sides of your home or apartment. Drive by shootings can be deadly. Next, he needs to start ratholing money. A really good trial lawyer will be able to keep his butt out of trouble, but they don'y come cheap. Next, have several .... at least ten... heavy duty deadbolts on all doors. Drug dealers are hard to keep out. Also, plan a route to the nearest emergency room. When he drags himself home with a gunshot wound, that is not the time to be planning the fastest route. Now.... do what other parents do. Send him to another town or country to live with relatives for several months. He needs to be taken away from this environment of self destruction until he is a little older and wiser ..

Answer 4

Maybe lack of attention, maybe lack of male in his life. It could be a # of things. As a mother of 4, 2 of which are 18 & 20 yr old males I would say to you that this is a very difficult age and no matter how mature your child may seem, he is still a child. What ever you do, do not let guilt over 'what ifs' influence how you raise him. It isn't your job to make him like you, it's your job to be his mother. If he doesn't have constructive goals for himself then make them for him, lay down the law on what is expected of him and do not waver.
Bring in outside help if ness. Tough love at this age is the key. I have told mine many times. "you will do as I say, or I'll put you somewhere where you don't have a choice, but you will obey me one way or another.

Answer 5

Well if he is hanging with new boys/girls that look like their in a gang put a end to that right here and now..This is what i would do if that happen to me get a hold of some kind of jail or prison in ur area and talk to the people tell them ur situation and let ur son and u sit in a room with convicted gang member and let them tell ur son thats not the road to go... and that might help good luck to u and ur son i might be 16 but i have older older friends that are parents and are going thru the same that u r and my friend she took her son up to the county jail for the same thang... after that and he talked to them cell people he got his ack together

Answer 6

First of all look at your Parenting skills are you never home, always going out, giving him what he wants, treating him like you don't care you know stuff like that are you taking care of business i mean not to put it all on you but sometimes Parents don't realize what their doing that make their kids do or want to do BAD things also alot can do with his dad not being there and he feel wanted or has someone to look up to and their a Gang member , usually kids who turn to Gangs that's one of the main reason is they need someone to listen to or look up too that's all but good luck because you have alot on your hands

Answer 7

Let's see, how about being a better mother? Maybe if your husband was around more, he could be a better father. Kids who have parents that hold them accountable for their actions and grades at school don't become gangmembers. Get tough on him and demand better grades and he has to be in by 7pm every night or he loses TV, video games or free time. Don't look at what your kid is doing wrong, but look at where you could have done things better and then start doing them today. Explain to your kid that becoming a gangmember has no future, because it doesn't, except prison or worse. Become a better parent today and you'll see an improvement tomorrow. You're the parent, who's the incharge at your house?

Answer 8

In todays world it is cool to be in a gang. I live in the smallest little hickville ever. We are surrounded by cows and farm and amish. There were still kids in my school that had to pretend to be bloods or crypts or whatever. I thought that it was the stupidest thing ever. I would love to see some of those kids come face to face with real gang life. Try to show your son what comes of gang life. Show him how many people die or end up in jail or things like that. SHow him how stupid it really is. And dont just tell him show him real pic of gang shootings and real stories of drive bys and things like that. Really face him with what he wants to get involved with.

Answer 9

See if there is a program in your area for "at risk" teenagers. Those programs help deter them from want to acheive that "gangster" attitude.

Personally I've seen what gang violence can do. Lost 12 friends in 10 years to gang violence. They were all under 16!

Answer 10

Because he needs more grounding in something. A gang can feel like family and security that he may be missing while his Dad is gone. A gang also provides discipline (but within gang rules, not your rules). Is there ANYTHING else you can offer - guitar lessons, karate, something that he wants and can work toward?