how do i feel my worth?

Question

ive had a very low self esteem for a long time, im 29 and battle through phsychological, psychiatric problems which ive had for a long time, since 15. i dont have any friends mainly because of these problems, i struggle to make friends, because i have such low self esteem. i live in a small flat on my own, battling through my problems. loneliness and isolation play a big role in my life...i wanna no how i can feel my worth? my self worth? feeling as though im just as good as other people? i always put everybody on pedastools, like everyones better than, and im not worthy of them, or friends, or a life, or a girlfriend to love...i think im the only one struggling and have been through a horrendous time and everyone else hasnt had the struggles ive had or hasnt been bullied or victimised in their life..so therefore this makes them better than iam.im scared to chat to the few girl contacts ive made on msn sometimes because i dont feel my worth, or that im good enough & have nothing to say

Answer 1

i know what you mean. i am lucky that i found someone who truly does believe i'm worth something and tries to convince me every day. he's not quite made it, but now at least i see, no one is better than you. some people are better at certain things than you, but no one is BETTER than you.

Answer 2

Self-esteem is huge. It affects so much of who you are and how you act. Imagine the behavior that would result if deep down you felt you were bad, or inadequate, or incompetent, or unattractive, or unworthy. You'd be very sensitive to criticism, you'd second-guess yourself, decide not to try things, feel lousy about yourself all the time, so relationships would be very difficult. Many psychological disorders sprout from low self-esteem. It's a problem with a lot of people, baggage from growing up, it can be the result of adults putting us down when we were kids, always feeling inadequate.

It's hard to turn this around, but it can be done. The key is to give yourself credit for any good thing you do...small or large. It's like making deposits into a bank account...your repository of self-esteem. You say to yourself, "I did a good thing, I'm pleased with how that went." Maybe you just showed up on time and made a contribution to a group effort. GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT. After a while you can "draw interest" on this account - in the form of self-esteem. But many people "discount" amazing accomplishments. I knew a gal who was disgusted with herself because she came in second at the state championship swim meet. And a guy who got a Bronze Star in Iraq and said "it wasn't anything." COME ON! You see how low self-esteem feeds itself? It's obvious, if you never give yourself credit, you can never draw the interest.

So you see, you have to do this for yourself. It's great if people don't abuse you verbally or put you down. But in the end, YOU have to give yourself credit, build up your own account over time. All that praise and rewards from adults "just because you're you" is shallow BS and doesn't work. A smart kid knows those tokens are meaningless and may even feed low self-esteem.

Answer 3

There's a great book called "Healing Your Emotional Self" by Beverly Engel that I read when I felt worthless. It helped a lot.
Good luck, friend --