What’s the deal with extramarital affairs?

Question

In your experience what types of women are prone to extramarital affairs and what types of men are prone to extramarital affairs? In your experience, are more attractive people prone to cheat more often in marriage or do unattractive people cheat more? Are people that are abused as children, more prone to cheat?

Answer 1

The "grass is always greener on the other side [of the septic tank-Erma Bombeck's additive] of the hill".

Most times, folks do not intend or expect to fall into this situation. Most times, its just co-workers who share life experiences & work experiences too intimately, and the people involved feel like their spouse "doesn't understand them" but this co-worker "does".

A wise person places their energy where the heart lies.

A doctor once noticed that he was feeling drawn more toward members of his female staff than his wife. Because they shared the day to day work issues, bonding took place and made these coworkers get closer than needed. The doctor noticed that when he went home, it was hard to convey the day's events to his wife, because she did not have the experience or medical background. So, he shared more with his nurses.

It finally dawned on him that he was putting more of his heart into sharing his life with these other women than his wife. He decided to make a change. Rathar than leave his wife or allow this habit to continue, he asked his wife to come join him at his work a couple of times a week. She became a member of the team, and an entire new avenue of communication opened up between the doctor and his wife. Their marriage grew and flourished over this endeavor.

Almost all affairs start off as entirely innocent. If you are somehow connected to something like this right now, back off, or encourage your friend to back off from entering into or continuing this folly. It always ends in heartache, hate, and mistrust.

012207 1:03

Answer 2

In my experience of 49 years, 2 marriages (3 if you count I married the same man twice) and three divorces (2 if your not counting), there is no type or class or looks to base whether one does more than the other. I don't even think peoples jobs make a difference, that much. I was raised in a home where both parents worked, one a teacher the other in a chemical plant (supervisor), neither cheated on the other, had 5 kids and 53 years married. My first husbands parents came from basiclly the same background and still married 59 years. Second husband his Mom stayed at home, Dad worked in oil fields and he passed away in their 48 year married, none had a history of cheating. My second husband cheated on me for 20 years! My first husband and I split because of chidishness, not infidelity. I have friends that cheat on their spouses with backgrounds like mine. So to say it's the way they are raised is not accurate, I do think no one knows what goes on behind closed doors so there could have been friction in the home I am unaware of, but not in my family history. I've often thought people cheat on their spouse, the first time, because of their frame of mind at at particular moment...if they are feeling down, leftout, scared, insecure...I'll even go with the excited, on top of the world, overly confident...whatever the mood, and the circumstance presents itself a person is swayed to act on that impulse. It is repeated because they were lifted from the emotional state they were in. Some feel guilty about the affair, while others justify what they did with thinking nothing was taken from the spouse so no one got hurt, others think it a thrill and don't care. Most people that do cheat repeat the offense again, hense the saying "once a cheater always a cheater". For some reason the human race was designed to live an emotional roller-coaster from the day we are born, and as long as any of us are around another living person we are at risk at any time to take comfort in anothers arms. I just like to think the majority of humans have the good sense and integrity in us to resist the urge to do something we wouldn't do if we were in our right emotional state of mind.

Answer 3

Extramartial affairs, people are never happy with what they have . They want more , they want fun and excitement. They think life is one big party . If they are not the center of attention , then they have an affair. Marriage is hard work . The people today want only the moment . There is no more believing in the vows of marriage. It is a self centered world no matter who you hurt along the way. It is a shame people don't care any more. People have no values or morals .

Answer 4

From what I have seen, experienced, and read the people most prone to cheat are those who are unhappy, either with themselves or with an aspect of the relationship.

Anyone, given the right circumstance, can become a cheater. Not saying that they will, but the possibility is VERY real.

Answer 5

selfish immature people cheat, seeking to boost their low self worth. people cheat due to inability to work out problems, no problem solving skills. doesn't matter attractive or not, just depends on ones character and belief system, their past, how they were raised, and their level of integrity. women usually cheat because their husbands don't give them what they need emotionally, the husband is usually a man who is very difficult to talk to, never seem to understand her, cold, mean, and controlling. men cheat out of vengeance, anger at the spouse, and when someone per sues them, and their heads swell thinking they are really hot .... people that are abused emotionally as children may be seeking excitement, and drama, the kind of life they knew with their role models. if they saw mom do it they may think it was okay. people with no compassion for others, your antisocial personalities are more apt to cheat, as they lack empathy for others, and never consider the hurt they are giving their spouse, and will only get it when it is them taking the hurt.

Answer 6

My oppinion of what my life thus far has taught me..

Men that usually cheat are more into it for the thrill, the need to conquer something new and its usually a physical actraction .. They usually arent emotionally connected to this person although they will tend to use the same girl for awhile if she puts out.. why ruin it if he's getting his cake and eatting it to..

Women that usually cheat its usually more of an emotional need.. their spouse or bf is neglecting their emotional needs in some way shape or form and when their in a low in the relationship a man will come along and say all the things shes been wanting her significant other to say or do.. then that leads to an emotional relationship which leads her into thinking the grass is greener on the other side.. and eventually cheats on her significant other..

So for a man its a physical urge.. for women its more of an emotional urge..

Looks have nothing to do with it.. they probably dont help much because usually good looking people tend to have ego issues and are arragant which causes a sense of being to good to get caught...mode of thought..

But as they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.. so it just depends on the persons personal preference but doesnt necessarily mean that it will happen more or less depending on how they look, especially in the womans case.. because alot of women can at first look at a guy at first glance and think he's not very good looking, but as she gets to know him .. if he does all the right things, says all the right things.. he starts becoming good looking in her eyes..

Abused children...hmmmm not so sure..i guess it just depends on the person and the situation.. alot of kids that were abused grow up with a sense of wanting to do and be everything that their parents werent..and strive to be different from them.. some grow up letting it rule their lives and even some will use it to enable them to do things wrong.. as an excuse.. (not all, but some) .. so i guess it depends all on what happened to them, and how they personally deal with it..

I personally think that it has alot to do with a persons up bringing.. and a matter of having morals and values instilled in them.. to be accountable for their actions and for the actions they do to others.. a lack of being taught respect for others feelings, and not being taught how to be a mature adult.. rather then a child stuck in a grown ups body..

Answer 7

I was abused as a child by an older brother, and have had 2 affairs in my lifetime. I have often wondered the same thing. I'm sure if I went in for counseling, they would tell me a definate yes, that it is a reflection of the abuse.
So, as to answer your question?...yes, I do feel someone who is abused is more proned to affairs.

Answer 8

Attention seekers are more prone to cheat IMO. Anyone - male or female - who seeks out flattery, flirts with strangers even when they are in a relationship, doesn't wear a wedding band, and doesn't have a close relationship with friends and family - are more prone to cheat.

I don't think attractiveness has anything to do with it - ugly people cheat all the time - Jerry Springer has taught us that!!!

Answer 9

I have always been amazed when I hear of really good looking people cheating on each other, so it tells me it's not about looks. It's emotional. People have all kinds of problems they are trying to deal with. Some is unresolved childhood issues, abandonment, or abuse or death. They are still seeking that validation from people, over and over. They just need lots of people "showing" them love. If a girl has her father die at a young age, she may get married right away to a man to try and help her get over her father's death, and then that's not enough, she needs more validation from other men, and she has to cheat on her husband to get that. That may be why some people do it. On the other hand we don't really know the reasons why people do it. They may not of even been thinking of it and meet someone and it just happens. And some people are just plain promiscuous, and need to feel like they've "still got it".

Answer 10

I don't think that there is an exact situation or circumstance that will make a person cheat. Everyone is capable, I just believe that those who don't choose not too.