i am a frist time mom to a 10 month old?

Question

i have a boyfriend how i know loves her to death.. but when he gets home from work.. this is like 3 hours after he gets home from work. and i ask him to go change her diper or soemthing and he just wines and comples then i end up doing it cuase he just acts like a little kid.. what should i do.. he does not help vary often with her.. what can i do to get him to help out more.. i have asked him sevale times to help out more.. but like i said before he just wines and complaes about it..

Answer 1

Is he the father? Some men never change a diaper, some change a lot. Talk to him about it. If he's the father, tell him he needs to take care of his child too. If he's not, you can't expect him to. Sorry, but most men have a hard enough time changing their own child, let alone someone else's. Just to be sure to thank him when he does and tell him that you appreciate his help.

Answer 2

Being a Mom is hard and when we have no support from our partners it's even harder. But we condition them that way.
I'm a Mom with 3 kids and my husband and I both work, but I feel I do everything. It's partly true, I clean the house, do the laundry, help with homework, give the baths, pay the bills, etc..
My husband gets to do a lot of the "fun" stuff, but that's the way I've "let it" be set up. I get tired of complaining, so I don't, but then he doesn't know how I am feeling.
Just because you stay home, doesn't mean you have to do everything for the baby and the house.
Go out at least once a week, I'm going to start heading to the gym, library, shopping or whatever on Thursdays so I can get out of the house!
Good luck!

Answer 3

Well it is hard to make someone do something they plan on not doing, but you need to tell him that you need his help. If you are going to live in the same house and raise a child then you need both of you raising the child. You sound like a very young couple, and if that is the case, he probably is still a kid. It is clinically proven that people do not reach their full maturity level until they are 25 or older. If you are under the age of eighteen, you are both still children. No affense I am still stating facts here, so working through the issue is going to be hard. But it can be done. You need to sit down and talk to him and tell him this is a two sided relationship right. You want to live here with me, have me cook for you and have me clean your kitchen and raise this child, while you sit here and do nothing, but we made a chioce, living here with me may mean that you do not have your mother to tell you what to do, but it also means that you have to do for me as much as I do for you. I love you, but I need help and I want you to help.

Being mean can lead to violence and it does not solve anything, but if you communicate with each other and you both try you can work through this, but you do need to be firm about your wants and needs. I am sorry that you are dealing with someone who does not appriciate what you do. My husband and I both share everyhouse hold chore. I let him off the hook some because he does have a job, but we have an autistic child and no one person can work on this alone. We need each other. We were not always that way, he was a me person as well. I did not threaton him, but he did come home to no super sometimes and he came home to a really messy house. I was not being mean I was just overwhelmed at all I had to do, so I did what I could and the baby came first. So give it the ole talking until you pop try.

Answer 4

I had twins first time around so wouldn't of dreampt of letting my wife do everything, maybe he doesn't know what to do and is a little embarrassed about asking you and its probably not a question he can ask his mates, I am surprised at the answers already given in here, it seems many fathers nowadays don't help out which is such a pity, it helps the bonding process for sure, the only thing i can say to help has already been mentioned and that is to leave him on his own for a while, make an excuse to go out, this time that your boyfriend will spend with his daughter may make him feel like his input is special. I hope he does get to help there not babies long

Answer 5

Sweety it is a man thing. My hubby will tell people he changes diapers all the time, now I can count the times he has changed diapers in the last month on one hand. Men don't like to change diapers and in the end I just have given up, I just do it, even though he is well capable (some times even brings me our son when he has done something)

Answer 6

Look my husband is the same way, my daughter is 21 month old, he doesn't change diapers for nothing and I just got over it and I don't even bother to ask him anymore. Men just don't like changing diapers and if I was you I would just give up on it.
My husband helps by playing with her, showing love, and sometimes if I get lucky feeding her or whatever. She is getting to the point though that she is almost ready to feed herself!

Answer 7

Throw his stuff on the front lawn! What a jerk! Give him a diaper to wear for himself...if he is going to act like a 2 year old then he might as well be treated like one.

Parenting is a 2 way street. No matter who are the caretakers of the child. If he wants to be in your childs life, then he must contribute.

Answer 8

He's a dad, they tend to be that way. My daughter is 8 months old, and I rarely ask her dad to change her diaper cause he works hard all day, and I stay at home with the baby. Just sit back and think...if you both work the baby should be a 50 / 50 job. But if you stay home, while he works and supports the family, well then thats a little different.

Answer 9

Get somewhere you have to go at least onece a week so he has to babysit for a few hours. Hopefully when you come home, he will have changed the baby amd figured out that it isn't that hard!

Answer 10

You need a night away with your mom or friends... leave early saturday morning and don't come back till Sunday afternoon... he'll learn that doing these things aren't an option and once he sees how hard it is he'll help out more :)