My Man & I have been married 10 yrs. for the last 7 he has been addicted to meth. He no longer has ability to live on his own & my doc said his brain damage is permanent. While I wouldn't say he is retarded he can't make decision's on his own like, $, heath, simple things like how to make macncheese, he is angry & mean most of the time & I NEVER leave our kids with him, I still care about him & know if I were to divorce him he would be dead or in jail, or homeless. He was adopted & has no family other than me. He doesn't brush his teeth for months a time a showers once a week with a fight, I met a man that knows my situation that loves me & wants an affair, I know that marriage is for better or worse but I have been so lonely, and have slept on the couch for 6 six yrs, I don't want to hurt my husband & this man reluctently accepts that. i know is wrong but I can't bear thinking that I can never be made love to someone again, I have protected sex with my husband once every 3-6mths & its
2007-01-22 05:20:50 · 8 answers · asked by Destiny 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
terrible I have to be really drunk, I can't kiss him,& shower afterwards. This guy has been my rock for almost a yr now, I fell in love with him, I care enough to let him go if he ever wants marriage or kids,I know he loves me too. we have never had sex but I know where it's going. My kids are embarrassed by their dad & we can't take him anywhere for fear of his violent outbursts or appearence. I don't want to hurt my husband but he's no longer the person that he used to be. I know affairs are wrong but this guy is my best friend and companion,he is a stand in dad to my kids & I'm so tired of being alone & unhappy, I know marriage is forever but I can't stand to think that I have to give up on feeling loved by someone for the rest of my life. Am I being selfish for wanting this? I have tried everthing & feel that he did this to himself & I shouldn't give up on being happy also, It's not an excuse but I have only one life to live on this earth, & why shouldn't I have some happiness too?
2007-01-22 05:35:19 · update #1
Have you, or has he had every opportunity to shed his dependence on drugs. Have you helped him get help. If you have and can answer yes, then I suggest you leave the relationship. Now I wouldn't necessarily jump into bed with the new guy, but having your children anywhere near this drug abuser cannot be a healthy situation for them. Think of the kids first and remove them from this atmosphere.
2007-01-22 05:33:36 · answer #1 · answered by Sally 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drugs are a personal choice, whether to do them or not. If this were me (I can tell you now I'd never be involved with someone that is a drug abuser) I would have him checked into some type of rehab that handles these people 24/7. I would not keep someone in my home, around my children or family that was a potential danger to their well being. I am a firm believer in "for better or worse" honoring the marriage vows but no where does it say by his/her own choice. This is one of those worse case scenarios you always hear about when dealing with anyone that does drugs...what if you were to become mentally or physically disabled due to your drug addiction, who would you have to take care of you? So many think they 1) would never get that dependent on drugs, 2) lose their abilities to care for themselves, or 3) spouse (parents) would because they have to love me...They are so wrong, nobody likes to see the drug abuser harm themselves in the beginning let alone be permanently disabled to the point of 24/7 care of them.
2007-01-22 13:38:11 · answer #2 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, do you love your husband or are you just there for his health. Whatever the answer, he is not giving you a very good life.
Get a divorce and send him to a specialist place, but be strong and happy, this man you are having an affair with: does he really love you or is it just the sex?
Think of your kids aswell.
Good Luck I hope that helps.
2007-01-22 14:02:37 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women you best think of your children, but you don't need to have an affair. But the best thing, is leave the man. He brought it all on himself. He must of not cared enought about you and his children, to stay away from the junk.
The longer you stay ,the longer its going to hurt. You need to make a better life for your children. because it is hurting them as well , to see their dad in that state of mind. you best get out while you can.
As for the man who wants to have an affair with you, is he married? If so it wouldn't make anything any better. It would make it worse. all you going ot do , is bring yourself down, as well as you children. you better do something quick before it gets to late for all of you.
2007-01-22 13:42:13 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you feel like he is living because of you but you need to make yourself happy. If he doesn't want to change and you want more out of life than you need to get a divorce. I know it's a hard thing to think about doing but what are you getting out the deal? You gotta look out for you because if you don't do it, who will???
2007-01-22 13:25:09 · answer #5 · answered by mZgRoW*N*sExY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion the only reason the guy wants an affair with you is for sex. You see there is no future with you since you choose to stay with a stone cold tweaker and loser. And any man who is willing to have an affair with such a person is only in it for himself and has no self respect.
2007-01-22 13:30:31 · answer #6 · answered by morahastits 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your human i don't blame you. if you need a person to ease into this hit me up some time. we will be careful and i understand if you ant to go slow but you do have needs that need to be met
2007-01-22 14:37:55 · answer #7 · answered by donald y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would find another guy
2007-01-22 13:25:34 · answer #8 · answered by Joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋